Fall From Grace
by bibi 13ca
Summary: Damon compels Elena after confessing his love and leaves town. Both statements have an impact on Elena and both mean more than she thought they could. Elena: "We can fix it," I said softly. We had to fix it. Damon: "Don't be naïve, Elena... Want to know more, read the story! M rated for later chapters and cursing.
1. Chapter 1

**N: Hello there, anyone still here? It has been ages since I posted anything. If anyone from the 'old gang' is still there, drop me a line! It would be great to catch up.**

 **First line of business, this AN will be long, brace yourselves!**

 **Second, I am very sorry to all the people still waiting for an update on any of my stories. I just want you to know I didn't give up on them. The ones I did give up on will be taken down within the next few days (if that is the case for a story of mine you're following, I am really sorry, but it means I had completely lost all interest and inspiration for said story and will not happen. I assure you I had tried, for all of them). If I am not taking down the story you are following by the end of next week, it means it will still be finished (it might take years, but I will finish it).**

 **Third, the reason you are reason I am here now. I was going through my stories a few months ago, one of them being "I'm FINE" which I have now taken down. I realized I still liked the idea and plot of the story, but it wasn't too well written (one of my first fics and all). So I decided to re-write it and finish it (which I have now done so).**

 **The story is set somewhere in season 2 of The Vampire Diaries (from episode Rose – if I am not mistaken – the one where Damon confesses is love for Elena and then compels her to forget). Characters are slightly OOC because of course they are, or it wouldn't be fan-fiction.**

 **This is the first chapter (duh!) a new one will be posted every week on Thursday or Friday. They are all already finished, I simply have to find time to go over them one last time before delivering them to you (if anyone is still there reading). I feel like I have to finish and post this, mostly because of those few people who invested their time in the story "I'm Fine" and never got to read the ending. The first 15 chapters are the ones that have been already on as "I'm Fine" but with A LOT of changes. Also I decided to change the title, because I thought this one fits the story (after all the editing) better.**

 **I must remind everyone there: reviews are really an extraordinary thing for writers. Something you take a minute to write down will mean a lot for an author for the rest of their lives. So, do take a minute to leave your thoughts, good or bad!**

 **Yeah…so, here we go!**

 **Something on my mind**

As I sat down on the bed, I felt a familiar weight around my neck. I lifted my hand and immediately felt the cold chain of my necklace hanging there. Right where it belonged – even though it had been gone – and I had no idea how I got it back. There was a strange, emptiness inside of me, and for some reason I felt incredibly sad. A feeling that had something to do with the magical appearance of my necklace. The feeling came out of nowhere and threw me off-balance for a second. I felt as if I should've remembered something. Something important. A memory should've been pinned to this feelings I had, but I couldn't remember. I searched and searched into my foggy mind, but with no result. And just like that I knew that I had been compelled to forget. But what exactly did I need to forget? And more important yet, _who_ wanted me to forget something? My brain immediately went to work. Let's see, who was a vampire; who was a vampire and was able to get inside of my house? There was Stefan, of course – but why would he compel me to forget something? There was no harm in bringing me back the necklace that he, himself, gave me. I was still a hundred per cent sure the person who compelled me had also brought back my necklace. Then there was Katherine, but she was stuck in the tomb. So no, not her either. Caroline? No, my friend would've had no possible reason to do that. As is, she was one of the most honest people I knew. And then I thought of Damon, and with his name the strange feeling came back. At that moment I knew. It had to have been him. I knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt me, or force me into something I didn't want to do, but why did he compel me? What could he have possibly said – or done – that he felt the need to take away from me after? I eventually fell asleep, trying to remember. I didn't.

 _ **Same night, boarding house:**_

"Well, hello there, little brother. Where are you coming from, this late at night? Don't tell me you killed Bambi's mum again!" Stefan ignored the heavily sarcastic comment from Damon, and just looked at him curiously.

"What's with the suitcase, are you leaving?"

"No, I just decided that I needed a change in my wardrobe, and now I'm giving away my old stuff." It was said in a dry, deadpan voice, and he rolled his eyes for good measure. Stefan had always been good at stating the obvious. Capitan Obvious should've been his name.

"I thought we were going to protect Elena. Together!"

"She's not mine to protect, Stef!" There was something in Damon's voice that made all the alarms in Stefan's head go off. Was his brother up to something? This question could wait though, there were more important thing to figure out at the moment. For him, at least. He didn't know exactly what that said about him, but he had started to rely on his brother. No matter what had happened or will happen between them, he knew Damon will always look after Elena. With a shiver of shame running through his body, Stefan admitted to himself that he was counting on his older brother to make the tough choices. He had been for a while. He was hoping to be able to let Damon be the bad guy.

"I thought she was your friend," he tried tentatively.

"I thought you wanted me gone? You certainly tried to get rid of me hard enough."

"I do or, I _did_ …" true, Damon being gone would certainly make things easier for Stefan. For once, he will no longer need to compete for Elena's affections. Yes, he was aware of how pathetic he sounded, but he couldn't help it. Even back in the day, concerning Katherine, he wondered why she keep Damon around even though she had been with him. He had been young and naïve. Judging by the way she looked at him, he had thought she had loved him. So why did she need Damon for? What had Stefan lacked? The same question lingered in his mind for weeks when Katherine came back to Mystic Falls and declared that she had always loved him. If she had only ever loved him and only him, why be with Damon at all? Not to mention the fact that more than once now he noticed Elena's gaze linger on his brother a little longer than necessary. He might not be as strong as his brother but he was strong enough to hear Elena's heart skip a beat when she looked in Damon's direction. So yes, Damon being gone and out of the way was in his best interest, but he was still his brother. They had just worked out a fragile truce. A way to move forward, a rocky path towards reconciliation. Thanks to Elena mostly.

"Well, I'm going, whether you want me to, or not. Take care of her brother! Oh, and don't call me, unless something really important comes up. We are talking life or death here, not your teenage crises." Damon said, pulling Stefan out of his thoughts. Then he handed his brother a piece of paper. "Here is my new number, no one but you has it. If you give it to anyone else. And I do mean anyone, I will come back and snap your neck for the next ten years just for fun."

Stefan took the paper and nodded.

Damon took a long look at his brother, and then, using his vampire speed, he took off. He drove for hours before checking into a motel in a small village, barely believing that he had actually left. He told Elena he loved her, and then he took it away. He knew it was better that way; she didn't belong with him, she belonged with his brother. He was the good one. The information was too much, it wasn't her metaphorical cross to bear. Damon knew that Elena knowing about his feelings for her would only make things worse. Make her feel guilty even though it was in no way her fault. Everything between them would've changed and Damon wasn't sure he was ready for that. Leaving seemed like the only way to go.

 _ **Elena house (E's pov):**_

I woke up with a headache from hell. My head was pounding and it felt as if heavy fog was hovering over my mind. With a loud growl, I got out of the bed and decided to take a shower. Maybe it would help chase away the pain.

The shower didn't help though, so as I got out of the bathroom my head was still pounding. It hurt everywhere and nowhere. That, along with the memory that kept on eluding me, were driving me crazy. I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to confront Damon. Ask him to undo whatever he did to me, make me remember; because whatever it was, I felt like I needed to know. I got dressed quickly, and I was sure I broke several traffic-laws on my way to the boarding house. When I got there, I ran towards the door, and knocked. Stefan opened the door.

"Stefan, hi," I said a bit surprised. In my rush to get to Damon, I had simply forgotten Stefan would be there.

"Hey, Elena, I didn't know you planned on coming over today."

"I just decided this morning." For a second, I wanted to tell Stefan about Damon's compulsion, but changed my mind as soon as the thought took form. Somehow this seemed more like something that needed to stay just between Damon and me. At least for now. Plus, Stefan might overreact. He tended to do that, especially where Damon was concerned. "Is Damon here?" I went on.

"Damon? No, he's not."

The grim expression on Stefan's face got me worried. Unlike his brother, Stefan didn't usually bother to mask his feelings. However at the mention of Damon's name, he seemed to struggle not to react. Odd.

"What's wrong?" I asked, the feeling of dread already settling in my stomach.

"He… he left, Elena. Damon left." He said letting the words out along with a deep sigh.

"What do you mean he left, where?" the panic that took over my entire being through me off for a minute. I didn't know exactly what to do with myself. Was I supposed to feel this strongly about Damon's departure? Always the good girl, always trying to react the way people expected me to. What else was new?

"I don't know, he didn't tell me."

"And you just let him go?" I yelled, again allowing the emotions to take over for a split second.

"It's Damon, it's not like I can make him change his mind once he's set on something. What do you need him for anyway?"

"Nothing important, I just wanted to ask him something."

"Are you sure? You seemed pretty upset when I told you he left." Wasn't I supposed to? We were friends, sort of. He had saved my life more than once and I his. We had a… connection (connection was a safe word right?). Whatever the hell that meant? I wasn't sure where that 'connection' ended and something else began.

"I just… I don't know," I hesitated, not sure if I should go on. I didn't want Stefan to get the wrong idea. What was the wrong idea anyway? I cared about Damon and he knew that. I made no secret of it. God, why was this so weird? "I had the impression he wanted to stick around," I finally said. There, that was safe.

"Yeah, me too."

I couldn't believe he left. When he first got into town, that's all I wanted him to do, and he wouldn't. Now he was gone. Just like that. Just when I got used with the idea of him sticking around. Moreover, when I needed him to be here. I had a feeling that his departure might've had something to do with what he told me or did to me and compelled me to forget. Now more than ever I wanted to know what that was. What could've made Damon Salvatore run? Damon might be many things, a coward however, was not one of them.

"Elena, are you even listening to me? "Stefan's voice distracted me from my thoughts. I looked up at him. He looked confused. Not that I could blame him.

"What? I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you just said." (was thinking about your brother)

"I asked you if you want to come inside."

"No, I can't, I just came to_"

"See Damon, yeah, I got that," he interrupted me. There was a slight taint of annoyance in his voice that for some reason rubbed me the wrong way. So I had wanted to talk to his brother, what was the problem?

"Something like that. I promised Caroline I'll meet her at The Grill."

"Ok well, if you promised… I guess I'll see you_"

"Tomorrow," I interrupted him. I turned around, and walked to my car, not even realizing that I didn't even give him a kiss, or something as simple as a hug. But then again, we **were** on a break.

"Later," Stefan continued watching me go, but it was too late, even though I heard him, I was no longer paying attention. Other thoughts and questions took over my brain.

I got to the Grill and like always at this time of the day, it was crowded and noisy. I didn't like it, but it didn't exactly bother me that much either. I had more pressing matters on my mind. I spotted Caroline waiting for me at a table in the corner and immediately made my way towards her.

"Elena, thank God you're ok!" She gave me a long embrace as I wondered what she meant. Why _wouldn't_ I be ok? Oh, right, I had been kidnapped, like, yesterday. I almost forgot. How odd that the fact that I had been kidnapped and almost died slipped my mind.

"I'm fine, Caroline, don't worry." I smiled, hopping that the gesture would reassure Caroline and she wouldn't keep talking about it. I wasn't particularly looking forward to reliving those moments. Feeling so scared, so helpless. It had sucked.

"I'll go get us drinks," she said to me, already dismissing her worries as she took my smile and words as proof that I was okay.

"Can you like, make the bartender give me something stronger than an apple juice?"

Caroline gave me a strange look, but she did as I asked anyway. It had been ages since I specifically asked for alcohol. She came back five minutes later with a beer for me and a gin for her.

"So, what_"

"Damon left." I cut her off mid-sentence before drinking half the beer in one breath. The taste of beer reminded me of my trip to Georgia with Damon so many moons ago.

"What do you mean, left? Like, never coming back kind of left? Or more like, he will be back soon left?"

"I don't know. He told Stefan not to call him and he didn't say where he was going."

"So that's what brought about the day-drinking thing." Caroline said raising an eyebrow. "I'm sure he'll be back, Elena, he cares about you, and he wouldn't leave you like that. He knows the kind of danger you are in. After all, he did just save you from kidnapers just yesterday." She continued and I was relived to not have to answer the raised brow that could only mean trouble.

"I'm not so sure about that," I dismissed her theory with my hand. "Can I ask you something?" I asked.

She nodded. "Sure."

"Last night, Damon came to see me - I don't remember, but I know it was him. I'm pretty sure he compelled me. Don't ask me how I know, I just do." I paused for a few seconds. Since the blonde vampire in front of me didn't comment, I decided to proceed with my question. "Can you like, undo it, so that I would be able to remember?"

Caroline shook her head. "I'm sorry Elena, but I can't. A vampire is not able to undo a compulsion made by another, only if the one who made it was very weak. In that case, the compulsion is sort of incomplete, so you can undo it with some persuasion. Compulsion is one of Damon's strongest assets, there is no way I could undo it. Sorry."

"Weak? Like Stefan?" I asked, and felt guilty for voicing out loud that I thought of him as week. I instantly remembered Vicky and then having to ask Damon to compel my brother instead of Stefan. It was only by comparison that Stefan came up short. Not that this made it better.

"Yes."

I looked around me, the bar was packed, but somehow, it seemed empty. We talked for another hour about things that left my mind as soon as I stood up, and as I went home afterwards. I couldn't shake the now so familiar feeling that I lost something precious. No matter how hard I tried, that lost memory was eating me up. Deep down, I knew that given the opportunity, I will do anything to get it back.

 **N: Hope you enjoyed the first chapter, see you next time! A good day to y'all**


	2. Chapter 2

**N: Hello, so, as promised, here is the second chapter. Amazing people that you are, you have encouraged me with your kind words and as a side effect, I have now also completed another chapter for another one of my long forgotten stories: "Friends With Benefits." It still requires some editing, but the chapter is complete and will be posted sometime this weekend or beginning of next week.**

 **A tiny bit of a transition chapter, but had to be here. Hope you'll enjoy it anyway (even if not much happens). Remember, reviews are like caramel cheese-cake with roasted nuts and warm fudge, so please review!**

 **The answer to my problem**

I felt so damn cold, my teeth were chattering and my lips felt dry and stiff. I tried to find a position in bed that would make me stop trembling. It seemed that no matter how deep under the covers I went or how close to my chest I pulled my legs, I was still cold. I opened my eyes just a little to see if there was steam coming out of my mouth – there was – and I saw someone approaching the bed. The person was getting closer and closer. I would've screamed, but the cold seemed to have taken away my voice too. Once the shape got close enough, I recognized him. "Damon!" I cried out. Or at least I tried, but no sound came out. Just the ghost of a whisper that gave me more chills. For a few seconds I thought he will just stay there watching me freeze to death. He didn't though.

He didn't say anything; he just walked forwards a couple more steps and got in bed, next to me. His arms went around my body as if it was something he's done a million times before. I felt his body against mine, his hard chest against my back, and his arms around my waist. It felt so good, and so warm. It felt familiar even though it shouldn't have. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was wondering how come his body was so warm. He was a vampire after all. His body should have been room temperature. And if the steam coming out of my mouth and my trembling body were any indication, the room temperature should've been pretty low. But I decided that, that particular thought didn't matter. I stopped trembling soon after and I could feel my body relax, and warm up in Damon's arms. It was as if having him so close to me brought clarity to my foggy mind and warmth to my body.

I didn't have too much time to enjoy the sensation though. Suddenly a loud noise pierced my ears. It was coming from somewhere close to me, yet I couldn't really figure out where from. Just as my thoughts drifted from the noise back to Damon, I realized couldn't feel his arms around me anymore. He was gone. Once again, I opened my eyes and got up. I placed myself in a sitting position by the edge of the bed looking around confused. I discovered where the loud noise was coming from; my alarm clock. So, it had been a dream. My ice cold bed, the cold in my room, Damon and his warm embrace. It had all been a dream. What an odd dream. Well, at least Siberia didn't relocate in my bedroom. That was a plus.

I let ought a loud sigh as the realization set in. Vaguely, I wondered since when the thought of not finding Damon next to me brought in such sadness. Not too long ago I remembered wanting him as far away from me as possible. When did all that change? Wait, I knew the answer to that question. The relationship between myself and the elder Salvatore had progressed into something essential. Something that was now part of my life. Part of who I was. We have been through so much together. Two people cannot simply go through all the things we went through and not develop some sort of relationship, some sort of connection. Even though our connection seemed to have come out of nowhere. If I really thought about it, it seemed to have always been there. I didn't know if I believed in past lives, but maybe we had met in a previous life.

I got into the shower immediately, before my mind could wonder any further. Nothing good could come out of these moments of wonder. Damon was gone and simply thinking about it wouldn't bring him back. Simply missing someone never brought them back. If anyone should know that, it would be me. Missing my parents the way I did didn't bring them back to me. There was simply the pain that came with the void they had left in my life. My parents and now, to my very own surprise, Damon Salvatore. He somehow managed to crawl his way into my heart and leave behind an empty space with his abrupt departure. Maybe that made me stupid and immature, but I had not expect him to just leave. I had been under the impression that he will always be there. A few steps behind me. Watching over me.

The hot water was almost burning my skin, but I didn't mind, I just wanted to feel the warmth and relaxation that I felt in my dream. But no matter how hot the water or how smooth the shower gel, it turned out I couldn't get that feeling back, so I stopped trying. I should've known better than to think that something as mundane as warm water could replace Damon.

After my shower, I got dressed, and went downstairs. The smell of food made me nauseous so I decided to skip breakfast. I grabbed Jenna's car keys and drove to the boarding house for my morning coffee. I needed my morning coffee. The good thing about the Boarding House: I will not be finding any food in there. For some reason, I didn't want to see or smell food.

I got there in less than fifteen minutes and I let myself in right away. No knocking this time.

"Stefan?" I called.

"Elena," I heard his voice call back. "You're early," Stefan went on as he made his way from the living room.

"Do you have something to do, somewhere to go? I can come back later," I said stupidly. I couldn't have come back later, I had school.

"No," he smiled softly, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. "I just thought you'll come here after school, not before."

"I came for coffee, do you have any?" to say I didn't sleep well last night would've been an understatement. Half the time I felt too cold to sleep and when I did manage to fall asleep, it had already been too late. Maybe next time Damon would decide to come into my dreams a bit sooner. (Whoa! Where did that come from?) I hopped coffee will manage to give me back my rational thoughts because all this Damon rambling could **not** end well.

"I just came back from, uhh," he hesitated for a second. "You know, breakfast, but I'll make some."

We both went into the kitchen. I was watching him move using his vampire speed, to make coffee. This was weird. Stefan rarely used his supernatural abilities. I wondered what brought it about. He was so fast, like a blur morphing from one place to another. The speed and sudden movements were starting to make me nauseous.

"Can you stop that, you're making me dizzy?" I asked closing my eyes to shield myself from his rushed movements.

He didn't answer; he just switched to normal speed and finished making the coffee. He poured it into two cups, and he handed me one.

"Elena, is there something wrong? Did you have a fight with Jenna or with Jeremy this morning?" he asked carefully. He took a seat in front of me on the other side of the kitchen counter. He was close to me physically, but he had never felt further away at the moment. Actually I felt removed from everyone. As if we were trying to reach one another from different dimensions. They were there. I could see them and hear them. But somehow I felt as if I no longer fit in their world. I felt like I was intruding, (or they were), someone was intruding.

"No," I answered simply. The simple smell of the coffee was helping so I took my time before continuing and took a large sip of my delicious coffee. "I didn't even talk to them this morning."

"Then why are you on edge? I feel like any moment now, I might say something, and you are going to explode." Was I?

"I'm fine Stefan, I just needed my morning coffee," I said raising my cup.

We finished the rest of our coffees in silence. After we were done, he took my empty cup, and started washing it. Maybe I wanted another one. God, Stefan was right, I was on edge. Everything everybody did lately was _this_ close to make me snap.

"Don't you have to go to school?" He asked me.

Right, school, normal teenage stuff! I should be going if I wanted to be there on time. It seemed a bit silly to be going to school at times like these. All our lives were still in danger, Damon was gone and I still had no clue what he compelled me to forget before fleeing Mystic Falls. But we had to hold on to that shred of normalcy (like school), didn't we?

"Yes, I have to go."

I kissed him, on his cheek and thanked him for the coffee. I took my bag from the table, and got out of the house.

When I got out of the car, at school, I heard the bell ringing. I had to move faster or I would be late for math class, but somehow my feet wouldn't move faster. Call it faith, but the teacher got inside the class seconds after I did. Everything was so boring, I had forgotten how boring normal teenage life could get. The fact that the teacher didn't stop talking for a minute didn't help. I was expecting him to suffocate from lack of air, but that didn't happen. How disappointing. I couldn't help but think that Damon would've agreed with me on this. I remembered him making a sarcastic comment about Stefan's habit of repeating high school over and over again. I must admit, I agreed. Surely there must be better ways to spend eternity than go to school over and over again. Just when I was about to drift off to sleep, I felt something poking me in the back, so I turned around. Bonnie was staring at me.

"Elena, are you ok? You seem to be thousands of miles away."

"Bonnie!" I almost yelled. How come I didn't think of this sooner? She was a witch; she must know how to make me remember what Damon made me forget. It was my only hope anyway. I knew she wasn't Damon's biggest fan, but we were best friends. Had been since we were five. That should be enough of an enticement for her to help. Like I said, she was my only hope.

"I've been compelled, and I'm trying to remember," I confessed.

"Who compelled you?" she asked concerned.

"Damon."

"What, when, how? I thought he couldn't compel you with that necklace of yours on," she raised an eyebrow, confusion taking over.

"I didn't have it on," I said. I took it as an encouraging sign that she was focusing on the necklace that should've stopped the compulsion and not on the fact that it had been Damon who compelled me. This was good, this I could work with.

"Why?"

I noticed that the teacher was looking at us, with an angry look on his face. In five minutes the bell rang and I ran outside. I needed to get away. I knew that if I spent another hour in this dreadful place I would go mad.

"Elena, wait, where are you going?" Bonnie caught up with me just a few steps away from the front door of the school.

"Home, I don't feel good." I didn't lie, I wasn't feeling good. This morning's nausea was threatening to come back. Shivers ran through my body as if I had a fever. But I wasn't sick and it came as no surprise, when I touched my forehead with the back of my hand and my skin felt slightly cold instead of hot. Who knows, maybe I was about to get sick. That would explain the headache, the shivers, the nausea and the lack of appetite.

"Wait a minute!"

I stopped and looked at her. I didn't want to push her. I wasn't sure she would understand how important this was to me. I wasn't sure I understood it either.

"Bonnie, look, I've been kidnapped." I drew in a deep breath. "A bunch of vampires want to drain the blood out of me for some stupid ritual to break a stupid curse that came to be a thousand years ago, and to top it all, Damon compelled me and ran away_"

"I might be able to help you with that last problem," she interrupted.


	3. Chapter 3

**NOTE** : **Fist, I want to thank you all for your reviews, I can't even tell you how much they mean to me.**

 **I know this chapter is a little short, but I wanted to keep the memory (compulsion) in one chapter before moving on to the effect of it on Elena.**

 **Hope you like it and it will compel (pun intended) you once again to drop me a review.**

 **Lost and found**

After Bonnie confessed that she could help me with my problem, we decided to go to her grandmother's house. It would be empty and full of spell books to help with my 'situation'. I was eager and nervous to finally find out what I had been compelled to forget.

"Come on in, Elena," Bonnie said to me, making a gesture with her hand as to reinforce her words. For some reason I froze in the doorway of Bonnie's grandmother's house. I haven't been in this house, since that night. The night we opened the tomb and the tragedy afterwards. In a way, I guess I felt responsible for what happened to Bonnie's grandmother. I insisted we needed to help Damon and keep the tomb open for him to get out. I felt a little guilty, yes, but I didn't regret my actions. If I had to do it again, I would still refuse to leave Damon behind.

I finally got inside. It wasn't as if me standing there like a trinket would bring back the dead anyway. I took a seat on a chair at the kitchen table. It felt good to sit down, less dizzy at least. Maybe it was because I haven't eaten all day. It didn't matter now. Nothing else mattered, I was about to get back the memories that have been stolen from me. A sort of terrifying excitement started growing in the pit of my stomach. Yes, I was eager and excited to find out what Damon compelled me to forget, but I was also afraid. I couldn't tell exactly why the thought scared me. Like I mentioned before, I was sure he didn't do anything outrageous or forced me into anything. I simply couldn't explain the fear.

"Just give me a minute to find Emily's grimoire," Bonnie said and then disappeared out of the room leaving me alone with my thoughts and my dizziness.

"No problem," I mumbled, even though Bonnie was no longer there to hear me.

Taking advantage of Bonnie's absence, I returned to my thoughts, trying to guess what the compulsion could be about. Maybe he said something harsh or mean and wanted to take it back. Maybe he told me a secret, a childhood story and then changed his mind about me knowing it. Or maybe when I got kidnapped, something else happened. Something more traumatizing than a slap and an old vampire compelling the truth out of me. Maybe something really horrifying has been done to me and Damon had no choice but to compel it away.

A part of me wanted to trust that Damon had a good reason for taking away a memory from me. Really, I tried to let it go, but something inside of me couldn't. There was a powerful feeling inside my very heart and soul that felt the need to recover the memory it had lost. It was as if, it wasn't my brain the one that needed to know, it was my heart. Yes, it made no sense, yet here I was.

After a few minutes, Bonnie came back with the big old book that Stefan and I got out of his father's grave. She put the book on the table, opened it, and looked at me.

"Elena, how did this happen?" She asked.

"Well," I let out a deep sigh. I didn't feel particularly happy about having to explain it all over again, I did that a million times in my head. But I felt like I at least owed my best friend some sort of explanation. "When I got kidnapped, a vampire, reaped my necklace off, and threw it away; he wanted to know where Katherine was. That I remember. He didn't compel me to forget, just tell the truth. I didn't really have time to look for it when Damon and Stefan came for me, so I left it there_"

"But you have it on," Bonnie said surprised, her eyes drifting from my own to the base of my neck where the faithful necklace was resting.

"Yes," I nodded. "Damon brought it back to me. He must've come to my room right after you left. I remember you being there, then leaving and Jeremy saying good night. I remember going to my room and getting ready for a good long sleep. I was exhausted. The next thing I know, I was sitting in the middle of my bed and my necklace was on. My necklace was around my neck as always, but I had no idea how it got there. I didn't recall anyone giving it back to me. It was like it just appeared there, out of nowhere. It was so weird. And also, I had this feeling like I was missing something. You know that feeling when you know you forgot something but can't remember what?"

"Are you sure Damon compelled you? Maybe you just don't remember someone giving you the necklace back because of the shock of everything that happened to you."

"I can feel that something happened, I just don't know what." I bit my bottom lip not sure how much to tell Bonnie. She was still watching me expectedly. "When Damon compelled Jeremy after Vicky, well… Jeremy told me later that even though he couldn't remember what had happened exactly, his feelings were still there. He said it was like having the ghost of the memory, but not the memory itself." I hopped Bonnie would accept my explanation. I didn't know how else to explain it anyway. "This is sort of how I feel. I can tell something happened, I just cannot recall what."

"Ok." Bonnie shrugged. "Emily's spell, is very complex, it's made to make you remember a very specific compulsion that was put on you. A particular one, done by a particular vampire. You will have to do a lot of the work. You need to concentrate on the person who compelled you. Concentrate on the circumstances, on anything you might remember. The feeling of missing a memory you just told me about, concentrate on it! Bring it to the surface enough for the spell to grab on it and give you back the actual event," she said and I nodded. "It says here that the person should have their eyes closed. Give me your hands!"

I grabbed Bonnie's hands, and closed my eyes tight.

***DE***

"I brought you this," Damon said, holding my necklace in his right hand. He looked like he was carrying the weight of the world upon his shoulders. There was a sadness in his eyes that made my heart ache. Not just any kind of sadness, but a resigned sadness. As if whatever was making him sad had no solution. As if he accept the sadness and made it part of him.

"I thought that was gone," I replied.

He shook his head. I took a few steps closer, to take the necklace from him, but he pulled it away. I tilted my head a little, watching him confused. He came to give me the necklace, right? So why was he keeping it away from me?

"Please give it back," I said to him.

"I just have to say something…"

I took a few steps back, "What do you have to say with my necklace?" I asked, cursing myself for not drinking the vervain tea Jeremy offered just minutes ago. I was just so tired. He looked at me, like someone who didn't know how to begin his sentence. This couldn't end well.

"Uhh…b…because what I'm about to say is… probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life."

"Damon, don't go there," I begged him, thinking he was about to give me another one of his 'you feel something for me, Elena!' speeches. A part of me was terrified that this time, taking into consideration my exhausted state and everything that happened just hours before, I might let the through touch me for once. I was afraid that this time I might, just might, not contradict him. Sometimes, when I was alone and was sure no one could see me or see into my mind, I had been honest. Sometimes, I had admitted to myself that I cared about Damon more than just a friend. More than just my boyfriend's brother. More than I should.

"I just have to say it once, and you just have to hear it," he said, coming closer to me, until we were only a few inches apart. This time, I didn't pull back. I realized that whatever he wanted to say was new to him, and difficult to get it out. He was looking at me with his lost blue(ish) eyes. There was pain and confusion in them. They were just as breathtaking as I remembered, but sadder than I have ever seen them. There was nothing I could do, his eyes kept me in place. I was trapped. A prisoner of his gray-blue gaze. As I often found myself to be. It wasn't the first time I found myself unable to look away from him or walk away from him. Yes, there was fear deep inside my being. After all, he was holding on to my necklace for a reason. He wanted to compel me. That much was obvious. But why? I was sure he didn't plan on hurting me and at the moment I could think of no good reason for him to want me to forget whatever he was about to do or say.

"I love you, Elena!" I held my breath at the words. Slowly, I opened my mouth to protest, but no words came out. It was as if, I had lost my ability to speak. It felt as if my mind couldn't process his words fast enough. Like my neurons just short-circuited.

"And it's because I love you, that, I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this." My mind was screaming, my heart was arching and my legs felt like they were about to give in, but again, words eluded me. It was as if I wanted to speak, scream even, but the signal could not get from my brain to my mouth.

I looked into his eyes, but I didn't just see them, I saw his soul. And Damon Salvatore's soul, was beautiful. I kept looking at him, like I was trying to communicate with my eyes. Tell him, no, beg him not to do this to us. Beg him not to take this moment from me. To not make that decision in my place.

"I don't deserve you," Damon went on.

I wanted to tell him that he deserved everything he wanted, that he was a good man, hiding behind an act. And I wanted him to know that he deserved to be loved just as fiercely as he loved, but he didn't allow me. I didn't know if my inability to move or speak was due to his compulsion or my damaged brain.

"_but my brother does."

He came closer. So close, so mesmerizing, so dangerous. And I thought he was going to kiss me, and his kiss will suck out my very soul, and we will become one. I didn't pull back, and I didn't even try to stop him, instead, I opened my mouth in anticipation. My soul was his for the taking. **I** was his for the taking. However, instead of the feel of his lips on mine, I felt them on my forehead. The moment probably lasted a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime. It felt like the time had stopped, and everything around us disappeared. It felt like there was just the two of us spinning in the universe, and only the stars were watching us, and only the sky was enveloping up. A sky just as blue-gray as his eyes. When he pulled back, I took in a deep breath. I was pretty sure it was my first since his lips touched my skin. Maybe even before that. It felt like I forgot how to breathe. Hell, it felt as if I forgot how to do anything at the moment but look blankly at him.

"God, I wish you didn't have to forget this," this time I didn't need the indications of his eyes. I could hear the pain in his voice. He was breaking my heart. I wanted to ask him why would he do this to me. To himself. Give me a piece of him just so he can take it right back. I realized I wanted to hold on to that bit of his soul he was giving me. For a split second I hated him for not allowing me to do so. However, a part of me understood why he couldn't let me have it. I understood how he would think I wouldn't want it.

His thumb caressed my face as his eyes penetrated mine. Shattering a part of me that I knew could only be put back together by him and him alone.

"_but you do!"

In that moment, I saw something in Damon's eye, something that I've never seen before. A tear; a single tear fell from his eye and broke my heart into a million pieces. 'No, you can't do that; you can't take this away from me. Please, don't!' I thought. I should have said it out loud, but I didn't. I just stood there, like a statue. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I couldn't think straight. I couldn't even breathe properly. It felt as if I was trying to hold water in my hand. I could feel it slip through my fingers. Gone forever. I closed my eyes, thinking that maybe, just maybe, it would bring me back to reality, so that I could tell him, what I wanted to tell him. Maybe closing my eyes will clear my head, free me from this paralyses he placed me under. When I opened my eyes again however, he was gone. And I knew I wouldn't remember what had caused that havoc in my heart, in my soul.


	4. Chapter 4

**N: Thank you to all of those who reviewed and I couldn't reply personally! You are great, keep reviewing, it's amazing!**

 **A bit of a filter chapter, sorry about that. And sorry about the next statement… I might not be able to post next week *ducks under the desk* I am moving, and I am not sure if all will be settled and my internet connection will be on my next Thursday. However, the week after should be good.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Back to reality**

Once I got back to present day, I was trying so hard to hold back the tears that it hurt. I had a knot in my throat that I was desperately trying to swallow. I couldn't fall apart. Not like this, not now, while my best friend was watching.

It was still so hard for me to believe that he did that, that Damon did that. I remembered the time when I asked Damon why he hadn't compelled me when we went to Atlanta. He'd said he'd wanted our time together to be real. What happened with things between us being real? True, he didn't compel me into doing something, but still. I thought Damon would never do that to me. I thought he knew how important it was for me to trust that the vampires in my life will allow me my free will. A sudden urge to run and hide, to be alone, came over me. I certainly didn't feel like explaining all these overwhelming feelings. Not even to Bonnie who was clearly waiting for an explanation. She was my best friend, but this felt too personal. This was mine and Damon's moment. It was ours alone. It had actually been just Damon's moment, but now it was mine too.

"What did Damon do? What did he want? What did he do to you?" She asked.

I hesitated for a moment. My first instinct was to yell at Bonnie to stop talking about Damon that way. To stop thinking the worst of him just because of a few mistakes. To tell her that she had no right to judge, because she had no idea what he had been through. But somehow, I managed to stop myself. I knew it wouldn't do any good. I had known Bonnie almost my whole life. I knew how stubborn she could be in her choices. And her choice for the moment was to hate Damon. I knew a few words from me would not be enough to change her heart and her mind. "Damon didn't do anything wrong, Bonnie. He didn't hurt me or anything like that. He, just said goodbye to me," I lied. I didn't even know why I lied to my friend, but I did and I felt bad about it. Maybe someday I will tell her the truth. Or maybe some things were just not meant to be shared, not even between best friends since childhood.

"And he compelled you to forget that, why? It doesn't seem like a good reason to me." I should've known better than to think I could fool Bonnie Bennett so easily. The woman could smell lies.

"So I won't stop him," I said. Yes, it sounded like something Damon would do. It was close to the truth. He did leave right after and asked his brother not to look for him.

"Would you…have stopped him?" she asked and the knot came back to settled in my throat. The simple answer would've been: 'yes' but for some reason I didn't want Bonnie to know that. Not that it mattered, Damon didn't ask for my permission. He didn't even tell me he was leaving. Didn't think I deserved a good bye. Good, the anger was back. I could work with that. I will take anger over the excruciating emptiness and sorrow that I felt any time. Anger was a very welcome distraction at this point.

"I don't know, Bonnie," I answered instead. "I better go home, school ended two hours ago. Jenna would be expecting me home. Thank you for this Bonnie," I squeezed her hands, trying to tell her with more than words what her help meant for me. "Really, I appreciate this," I went on, reinforcing my gesture.

"Elena, you are my best friend and I'll do anything in my powers to protect you, and keep you safe."

"I know." I got up and made my way towards the door. Just as my hand touched the door handle, Bonnie spoke again.

"I know there is more to that compulsion. I saw your reaction Elena, I felt it. It's okay if you don't want to share it with me. I just wanted to tell you that I am here, whenever you are ready to talk about it," she said. "Answer me one question though," I simply nodded. "Did he do something I would hate?" she asked and I turned around to face her. (Probably) Yes, I think Bonnie might hate what Damon did. But then again, Bonnie hated basically anything Damon did. Except when he was saving me or another friend. It was not fair, but it was reality.

"It was the most beautiful thing anyone ever gave to me," I said, unable to explain it further without breaking down and crying my eyes out.

"Alright," Bonnie finally said after a long moment of silence. "Let me know if there is anything else I can do." I nodded once again before storming out of the old house.

***DE***

I got home, and went straight to my room. I never in my life felt more powerless or more confused. With the little energy I had, I claimed in the middle of my bed, took the blanket in my arms, and started crying. It has been a long time since I cried like this. Sobs were shaking my body and tears were pouring one after another soaking my pillow. I cried for long time, without being able to stop. I now had the kind of information that I didn't know what to do with. So pure, so beautiful and yet it was just as heartbreaking. Maybe Damon had been right to take it away from me. But, a part of me was glad I knew. Even though I was now haunted by a memory I shouldn't have had.

"Elena?"

Stefan's voice disturbed my crying marathon, coming from what seemed like miles away. He came towards me, and tried to put his arms around me, but I pushed him away. I was mad. It felt like he had walked in on something too personal. Something that didn't concern him. Something I had no damn explanation for. Stefan and I were on a break at the moment, but I still loved him. I felt like the reaction I was having to Damon's departure was an insult to Stefan. Like I was betraying him. I was confused and angry. Angry at myself for feeling this way, agree at faith or God, or whomever or whatever was to blame for the predicament I found myself in. I couldn't possibly explain all this to Stefan, so I chose the easy way out. Push him away.

"I have a door for people to knock on," I yelled. My voice felt strange and sounded alien to my own ears. Hoarse and exhausted.

"Elena, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice, unlike mine, was smooth and familiar. "Talk to me, please," he whispered.

"Everything's wrong Stefan, everything!" I finally turned to face him. "The oldest vampires in history are after my blood," Stefan gave me a napkin and I immediately blew my nose. I was happy for the momentary distraction. All I had been able to think about for the past two days had been Damon. Now that I let in my other problems, I was glad to have something else to focus on for a while. "I can't let them kill everyone that I love until they get to me, Stefan. You guys won't let me just give myself up to them in order to make sure the rest of you remain unharmed." I let out a deep sigh. "There is no way out," I finished in a weak voice.

"There might be a way," he said simply as he took a seat by the edge of the bed (uninvited).

"What do you mean?"

"Well, remember the vampire that ran away, the girl who kidnapped you?"

"I think her name was Rose. Yeah, I remember her." Of course I remembered. It's not every day you get kidnapped and have the living daylights slapped out of you. "Why?" I asked.

"She came by today and told me that we can break the spell that was put on the moonstone. No stone, no curse, right? All we have to do now is to take the stone from Katherine." Stefan said.

Oh that was all? All we had to do was to take the stone from Katherine. A five hundred years old vampire with an obsession for two brothers and the strongest sense of self-preservation I have ever encountered. Not to mention a hatred for me and a grudge against half of Mystic Falls. Particularly the people who locked her in a dark tomb by herself, leaving her to starve. But sure, that was **all** we had to do.

Not to mention the fact that all of us might still get killed for daring to de-spell the object and messing up the plans of the oldest and most powerful vampires in the world. "Klaus has been hunting Kathrine for over five hundred years because she defied him. You think I am going to mess with his plans and get a free pass?"

"No, probably not. But we have to do something, Elena. We have to fight," he said in a weird strangled voice, looking at me with big, beautiful green eyes.

"Alright, let's say we do this, Katherine is not just going to hand the moonstone to you. Or anyone else for that matter. She knows that the stone is all she has left. She will use it as a bargaining chip and she doesn't deserve to get what she wants. Not after everything she did." Everything she did to him and Damon. Damon! He would **so** not like this plan. That I was sure of.

"I know, I'm going to take it myself."

I frowned. "But if you go into the tomb, you won't be able to get out."

"Bonnie is going to break the spell just enough for us to get in, get the moonstone, and get out," he explained.

"Us? Who's us?" I asked confused. I thought he just said he will get the moonstone by **himself**.

"Caroline, Damon and I."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. Damon was the one with the plan. Everyone else that came up with one was terrible at it. We had to face the facts. And those were the facts. "First of all, Caroline's not strong enough, second of all, Damon's not here, and third of all, Katherine might still get out," I said. At least hearing his crazy plan got me to stop crying. That was basically all that Stefan's plan had going for itself. It wasn't my intention to be mean, but his plan really sounded bad.

"I'll talk with Damon. Together, the three of us are going to be more powerful than Katherine. Not long term, but we don't need long."

"I don't think Damon will come back," I mumbled. I knew that because after I had convinced Stefan to give me Damon's new – and very secret – phone number, I had called about a hundred times with no answer. Just as hearing Stefan's terrible plan had stopped my sobbing fest, thinking about Damon never coming back again threatened to bring it back. My fragile state of mind made me feel frustrated with myself. Mostly, I had troubles understanding it. So Damon left me. Well, not left **me**. He just left. So what? Why was I so shaken up about this?

"He will! He cares about you Elena, even if he doesn't show it," he contradicted me. Not knowing what sort of effect his words will have on me. Little did he know that not only Damon showed that he cared, but he'd said it too. The thought of Damon's confession brought, once again, tears to my eyes. "Elena, everything is going to be ok," This time when he put his arms around me, I let him. I didn't have the strength to argue with him anymore or push him away. It had been a long day and I was exhausted, mentally and physically.

In a second he pulled back, and looked at me confused. "Your necklace! I thought you lost it?"

"I," I hesitated. One thing I knew for sure – I did not want Stefan to know about Damon's confession or about his compulsion. If Damon hadn't wanted me to know, he sure as hell didn't want his brother to know. "He, uhh, Damon gave it back to me."

"So that's why you've been acting like that. What did he do?"

"Nothing, he did nothing wrong, Stefan." I said quickly with a little more attitude than required.


	5. Chapter 5

**N: Hello everyone. Thank you again for your support for this story!**

 **I know I said I might skip updating this week because I am moving, but… Well, it's taking very long and I needed a break, so here we are.**

 **Hope you enjoy this chapter and please don't forget to review!**

 **Kamikaze Mission**

I opened my eyes, it was dark. My heart was beating fast and my palms were sweaty. I looked around, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness. I was alone, in my room, in my house. It had only been a dream. But what a dream. I went downstairs for some water to cool off.

"Can't sleep?"

I jumped. "Jenna, you scared me," I placed my hand against my chest. My pulse accelerating again. "I had a bad dream," I answered honestly. It felt like ages since I had been honest with my guardian. Back when my parents were alive, Jenna had sort of been my confidante. I used to tell her everything. She seemed so much younger then. I saw her closer to my age then. Now… now things were different.

"Are you ok, your face is red," Jenna came closer to me, and put a hand on my forehead. "My God, Elena, you're burning!" she said. I shrugged.

"I'm fine Jenna, I told you. It was just a bad dream. I just need some water to recover," I smiled, hopping that would be enough to erase that look of concern from my aunt's face. It worked. It always worked. People always let themselves be fooled by a smile, not bothering to look underneath. Or maybe they were simply unable to. She told me to take a Tylenol if the heat persists and went to her room. I poured some water in a tall glass and made my way back to my room. It took me ages to fall back asleep. When I finally did, my alarm clock went off. It seem to happen a lot lately. My alarm hated me. 'So much for sleep' I told myself. With much effort, I dragged my heavy body out of bed. I took a quick shower, and put some make up on, in a failed attempt to cover the dark circles around my eyes.

When I got to the boarding house, Stefan answered the door, with a concerned look on his face. Although at this point a part of me was sure that, that was just Stefan's resting face. Maybe being gloomy for over a century just made one's face stuck that way. Crap. I was turning into a bitch.

"Jenna called me, she told me you are sick. You don't eat, you don't sleep, and you had a fever last night," he said, the words coming out of his mouth one after another, making me shake my head to pay attention. It was really hard for me to concentrate. Had been since **that** night. The night that Damon gave me the most beautiful part of himself and took it right back. Of course it was just a coincidence. (Bullshit)

"I'm fine, did you make coffee?" I asked, pushing my way inside.

"Again with the coffee. Have you put something more than coffee in that body for the past three days?" he asked with a disapproving look.

"Of course I did," I lied. Well, not exactly a lie though. Jenna had forced me to eat a whole sandwich yesterday and I had a cereal bar this morning. Lying seemed to come easier and easier to me lately. Especially to the people I cared about most. At first it felt odd lying to them, but now it came naturally. The thought should've concerned me, but it didn't. (I was damaged) It felt like one of those things I had to do. To protect them. To protect myself. I didn't know exactly why. It didn't really matter anyway.

"I didn't have time to make coffee, but_"

"I'll do it," I said and disappeared into the kitchen, ignoring Rose and Caroline that were most probably waiting for me in the living room.

I took the coffee box from the counter, and pulled at the cover. It didn't open. I pulled again, then I pushed and turned, nothing was working, it just wouldn't open. I started to hit the kitchen table with the coffee box, desperate to get it open. Coffee was essential, I needed it to function. Considering I probably slept six hours put together in the last three days, it was no wonder I needed the caffeine to keep myself from passing out.

"Damn, why won't you open already?" I yelled.

I was so frustrated, that I started yelling at the box, cursing and calling it different colorful names. Stefan came into the kitchen, and took the box from my hands just in time, because I was about to throw it on the other side of the room.

"Hey, hey, what did the box do?" he asked softly.

"I can't open it," I said almost crying.

"I got it," Stefan said, and opened the box without any difficulties.

"Thank you," I mumbled taking the opened box from his hands.

When I finished, I took my cup, and went into the living room. I was looking at Rose, expecting her to explain to me what she explained to Stefan yesterday. It seemed she understood what I was waiting for, because a few seconds later she proceeded with the explanation.

"So, as I told Stefan," she looked in his direction and he nodded. "I spoke to a friend of mine, he told me that if you have the moonstone, a witch should be able to dispel it. That would make the stone useless. Without the stone, the curse can't be broken," Rose said looking at me.

"Look, I'm in if Damon's coming back. No offence Stefan, but you and me against Katherine, uhh, not a good idea," Caroline said to Stefan.

"I spoke to him," (I chocked on my coffee) Stefan told Caroline and she mumbled a 'good' before standing up. "He'll be here in a few hours."

As soon as I heard those words coming out of his mouth, my heart started beating faster, just like it happened when I woke up from my dream last night. He spoke to Damon. My Damon. Well, not exactly mine, but. Gha, somehow it seemed like he should've been mine. Although, the brutal truth was that he owned me nothing. He was not mine in any way and I had no right to expect anything from him. (One way ticket to Hell for Elena Gilbert coming up) But then again, logic had little to nothing to do with this.

"Stefan, we should go, you promised me will go hunting before school," Caroline said.

Stefan looked at me, asking for my approval.

"It's ok, go! See you at school, Caroline."

I watched them go, and then I turned my attention to Rose. "I want you to take me to see your friend, the one that give you all this information. Please," I added realizing that I sounded too bitchy. (Note to self: New and 80% caffeine Elena was a bitch)

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you owe me," I said defiantly. "Damon and Stefan didn't kill you for kidnapping me because I told them not to."(cocky much?)

***DE***

When we got there, we found Rose's friend dead, and his girlfriend in the bathroom, crying hysterically. Rose and I managed to calm her down enough to get her to talk. She gave us access to her boyfriend's computer, and all his contacts. We searched until we found someone connected to Elijah.

"Call them, and let them know that the doppelganger is alive, and she's ready to surrender," I said to the girl.

Her eyes opened wide and her mouth flew open. "Oh, my, God! I knew I saw your face somewhere before," she said shocked.

"What the hell are you doing?" Rose asked me.

"Just let me know when they arrive," I said, and then I went into the kitchen, leaving them alone and my cellphone on the table.

THE TOMB

"He was supposed to be here by now," Caroline said looking around.

"We don't have time to wait for him Caroline," Stefan said and Bonnie nodded subtly. "Bonnie already started the spell, we have to act soon. Now or never," he went on.

They placed themselves in front of the entrance, and got inside, both at the same time. Katherine came from the back, and immediately attacked Caroline, who let out a strangled squeak. Stefan attacked Katherine, pushing her away from Caroline. The blonde vampire picked herself up, took the moonstone, and got out.

"Stefan, hurry up!" Caroline yelled.

But it was too late, before Stefan had the chance to do that, Bonnie passed out. On his way out Stefan hit the invisible shield, which pushed him back. Right into Katherine's arms.

"There, there baby, I got you," she said with a devilish smile on her face.

"Get your hands off me Katherine!"

"Now that's not a nice way to talk to your new roommate, Stefan."

"How's Bonnie?" Stefan asked Caroline ignoring Katherine.

"I'm fine, I'm so sorry Stefan," Bonnie answered, her eyes barely opened.

"Don't worry about me, figure out the stone, Bonnie. Elena's survival depends on that stone. I will be fine," Stefan said and Katherine smirked.

"I will, I promise," she said as Caroline helped her up and towards the exit.

BACK TO ELENA

I had that annoying feeling that someone was behind me. So I turned around and saw the eyes that have been haunting my dreams for the past three days. The eyes that I couldn't admit missing so much that I couldn't sleep, eat or function on a basic human level.

"Damon, what are you doing here?" I asked. I was doing my best not to jump him. The desire to throw myself in his arms and never let go was overwhelming. (Inanity, meet Elena, you are now best friends)

"I'm here to take you home," he said like it was the most natural thing in the world for him to be here and take me home.

"But how did you_" my eyes left Damon's in search for Rose. "Did you call him?" I asked her, just as she entered the room.

"I wanted to call Stefan," she took my phone out of her pocket and handed it to me. "I got your phone, and called the last number you dialed. I thought it will be Stefan. I got him instead," at the last word she looked at Damon.

"Yeah, imagine how surprised I was when I heard that you were on a suicide mission. What were you thinking?" Damon looked at me, like I was a little girl that ran away from home. I hated feeling like a child who did something wrong.

The girl that Rose and I found into the bathroom came into the room; her eyes went directly to Damon.

"Damon Salvatore," she said, her voice a little out of breath, but excited. "The descriptions don't even begin to do you justice." Her eyes were about to pop out of her head as she was clearly undressing Damon in her mind.

"Who is she?" Damon asked. "Doesn't matter, get rid of her," he said, and Rose got the girl out of the room.

"Come on, we're going now."

"I'm not going home, Damon. Why do you care all of a sudden, you left, remember?" now that he was back, instead of relief at the sight of him, ager took over. I was so mad at him. For what he did to me. (Self-absorbed much?)

"Yeah, and now I'm back, and I'm saving your life. What else is new?"

"I don't want to be saved," I said defiantly.

"You either come with me, or I'll throw you over my shoulder and carry you out."

He came closer to me, and grabbed my hand, I knew he wasn't kidding. But I also didn't want to give up that easily. I was simply trying to protect the people I cared about. If anyone should've understood that it was Damon. After all, he had always been able to understand me. Why should this be any different?

While we were fighting the door flew open with a bang, getting our attention and revealing three men in their early 30s. they looked pretty much shocked once they spotted me.

"We got a call to meet the doppelganger here," one of them said.

"Thank you for coming," I said taking a step forward, but Damon grabbed my hand, and pulled me back. He was holding me so tight it hurt.

"If you move, I swear I'll break your arm," he mumbled between his teeth just for me to hear.

Damon got in front of me, and looked at the three guys in the room. I knew that he was ready to take them on if they even stepped in my direction. (Modesty? What's that?) But that turned out to be unnecessary. In a split second, the guy at the door fell to the floor, and I saw Elijah looking at me. He took a few steps forward and got between the other two men, asking them if someone else knew they were there. "No, nobody knows. We were going to bring her to you. You know, for Klaus", he looked pleased with their answer because he smiled. The next thing I knew, he stuck his hands in their chests, and pulled out their hearts, leaving them fall lifelessly on the floor. He looked at me again. There was annoyance in his eyes. Not that I could blame him. Damon took a few steps in front of me, ready to confront Elijah, to protect me, but that hadn't been necessary either, because he just left. Damon looked at me, and I looked at him, both confused about what had just happened.

"I think it's time to go," Damon said to me and took my hand again. This time I let him, and followed him to his car.

The car ride back home was a long and silent one. When we finally got in front of my door, he stopped me and looked me straight in the eyes. First I thought he might compel me again, but then I remembered my necklace was in its place, around my neck.

"What you did today, was incredibly stupid, Elena."

"Actually, Damon, the only thing stupid, was that I got caught. I mean, really, everybody is trying to save me, can you blame me, for trying to save all of you?" I asked, but expected no answer. "After all, all this is my fault. It's not because of you, or Stefan, it's not even Katherine's fault. It's me, every person I love, is in danger because of me," my voice broke and I started crying. I just couldn't take it anymore, I wanted everything to end. Damon came closer, and put his arms around me.

"Shh, it's ok; everything is going to be ok, alright? We'll find a way," he whispered. His voice so soft, so kind, it only made me cry harder. I put my arms around him too, holding him tight, like my life depended on it. My salty tears were soaking the material on his shoulder. It felt good to let it out for once. And it wasn't just that. It felt good to have someone there, someone able to provide comfort. (Liar! It felt good because it was Damon.)

"Why did you leave, Damon?" I asked in a weak voice.

"You really think that was easy for me?" he asked. I didn't answer, because I knew it was rhetorical. "It wasn't, believe me. It was the hardest thing I had to do for the past hundred years. It didn't work, as you can see, I came back at the first distress signal."

"No you didn't!" I yelled and Damon pulled back a few inches to look at me. "I called and called, but you never answered. Not until today when Rose called you from my phone. Why?"

"I was coming back anyway tonight, so I answered," he said simply. Like any of this was simple. Like that made sense.

"I mean, why didn't you answer when I called before? Stefan talked to you, you answered to him. Caroline said she called to confirm something, you answered to her. So why didn't you answer to me?"

"You called before I decided to come back."

"So?" I raised an eyebrow confused.

"So when you called, I didn't want to come back to Mystic Falls."

"What difference does that make?"

"Damnit Elena, because I knew that if I heard your voice, that if you ask me to come back, I wouldn't have hesitated to do so."

In a minute the door opened and I saw Jeremy looking at us. He had that look on his face, like something had gone terribly wrong. I pulled back from Damon's arms immediately.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Stefan. He got stuck in the tomb with Katherine."

Without even thinking, I got into the car and drove there.

"Stefan, Stefan!" I kept calling, but I got no answer back.

Just as I was about to enter the tomb Damon got a hold of me, stopping me from going any further. He pushed me against the wall, putting his arms on each side of my body, blocking my every move. I screamed, I yelled, I pushed him and scratched him but he didn't move an inch. My best attempts at freedom had no effect on him. (He is a vampire stupid!)

"Are you done?" he asked after a while. "I'm going to let you go now," he said and slowly, I felt his hands move on each side of me.

"He's stuck in there Damon, how could you let this happen?" I knew it wasn't fair to blame him, but he was the only one there. The only one I could yell at. And I knew he didn't mind. He never did.

"Me? I was too busy saving you from your little suicide mission."

"I keep telling you, I don't want to be saved!" I yelled back.

"Well, too bad, coz you're stuck with me."

He moved aside, and I ran home, leaving him there.

***DE***

Damon turned around, and saw his brother standing near the entrance, leaning against the moldy wall. He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Stefan, from all the stupid things? I'll find a way to get you out of there."

"Don't worry about me. Just make sure Elena stays away from this place."

"Coz that will be easy," Damon said sarcastically.

Stefan smiled sadly. "Just promise me you'll keep her safe."

Damon approved with a look and a soft nod, then he disappeared.

"That right there, is the biggest mistake you'll ever make," Katherine said to Stefan.


	6. Chapter 6

**N: Hello there amazing people. Thank you again for your support and kind words, they are amazing!**

 **I am sorry for this small, not great chapter. The thing is, I meant to add to it, but the wave of heat that hit Montreal these past few days made it impossible to do so. All I was able to do was lay in bed as still as possible and hope not to melt. I barely managed to stay on the chair long enough to look over this one. If there are any mistakes, I totally blame the heat.**

 **Hope you will enjoy the tiny chapter and drop me a line (I am an eternal optimist).**

 **The Ugly Truth**

 **THE TOMB**

"You know that Damon is not going to rush to get you out of here, now that he has Elena all to himself," Katherine purred.

"Can you just shut up for ten minutes?" Stefan asked annoyed.

"What do I get if I do?"

"That's the deal with you Katherine, there always has to be something in it for you. I wonder if you ever in your life made a selfless move."

"What's the point Stefan? Tell me what the fucking point in caring about others is? They'll turn their backs on you, betray you or die on you anyway. Why bother, right? You care about her, and she's probably out there messing around with your brother right now."

Stefan laughed. "She wouldn't do that Katherine, she's not you."

"That's where you're wrong Stefan. She **is** me. **My** blood runs through **her** veins. She is a copy of what was once original. There will always be a wild side of her, and I guess Damon is the one that brings out that side. You don't see it. Or maybe you do, but you don't want to admit."

Katherine came closer, and took a seat on the small bench besides Stefan. He scoffed, but didn't move. "Oh, come on Stefan, don't tell me you never noticed the way they look at each other? That connection between them is so obvious, it makes me nauseous. He makes her go up in flames, she makes him feel human. He makes her strong, she makes him week. He gives her courage, she gives him reason. You cannot underestimate these things. Not for people like us. It means too much and you know it."

Stefan was listening to her, without saying a word, scared that she was making sense. Of course he saw the connection between Elena and his brother too. No one who's seen them together could ever deny that they had something. Even if he didn't like to admit, he knew better. They had a connection, an understanding, an unbreakable bond. His brother had touched a side of Elena that he never even come close to.

"And you got all that just by seeing them together a couple of times?" Stefan finally asked without meaning too. It wasn't as if he was going to listen to Katherine, but at least he had to admit that what she was saying was making sense. He was amazed that someone like her would pay attention to something like that.

"It gets pretty easy to notice these kind of things when you've been alive for over five hundred years. With time, you learn to read people, because you have too. Nifty skill. It helped me survive."

"She's been a mess when Damon left," Stefan said sadly. He didn't mean to talk, to open up. Especially to Katherine of all people. But he felt as if he might explode if he didn't tell someone, talk to someone. "She wouldn't admit it, but I could feel it."

"Of course she wouldn't admit that, she doesn't want to hurt you."

Katherine put her hand on Stefan's hand. For the first time in a long time, he didn't pull back from contact with her.

ELENA'S HOUSE

"We need to get him out of there Bonnie."

"Elena, I'm not strong enough to lift the spell again," Bonnie said looking at me. I could tell that the fact that she couldn't help was tearing her up inside, but what was I supposed to do? I didn't know what else I could do. Lately all our problems seemed to be related to magic and she was the only witch I knew. The only one I trusted enough to ask for help. What she did for me, helping me remember what Damon had compelled me to forget meant so much. I was so grateful for that. The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel as if she didn't do enough.

"Bonnie, you can go, you need to rest and you need to figure out how to dispel the moonstone. I'll stay with her," Damon said from the hallway. Both Bonnie and I turned around.

Bonnie took her handbag and the grimoire from the table, and walked out without a word. I wanted to go after her, but I knew Damon was right, she needed rest. There was still a part of me that was unsettled by the many times Damon turned out to be right. Annoying really.

"What…you're going to babysit me now?" I asked Damon ironically, remembering everything he said. The 'I will stay with her' part didn't sit well with me. I wasn't a child.

"It's recommended for suicidal patients to be kept under surveillance."

"Stop mocking me Damon, I did what I had to do to save the people that I love."

"You keep saying that," Damon said rolling his eyes. He did that a lot, but somehow it seemed he had the right to. Plus, it was simply something we did to each other, or at each other. Part of our own little bender.

"Because, I expect that you of all people, **you** would understand."

"Why would you expect that?" he asked. "We have nothing in common, I'm a heartless monster, remember?" his harsh words got to me. He couldn't possibly think I thought of him as a monster. No matter what he did in the past, I never really thought of him as a monster. Yes, he made some bad decisions, some terrible decisions, but deep dawn, he was definitely not a monster. He cared about his brother, he cared about me. He was loyal and stubborn and passionate. Monsters don't have these kind of attributes. The statement wouldn't have surprised me a few months ago. Or even a few weeks ago. But now, after all we've been through, it was uncalled for. And untrue. At least I hopped he knew that.

Just in case he didn't I said the next words out loud. "No, you're definitely not a heartless monster, Damon. And I expected you to understand me, because…well, because you were once ready to do anything for love, regardless of what it would do to others, or to yourself for that matter."

"And we both know how that turned out," Damon replied.

Crap. That was not fair. (Bad example) I was trying to prove a point and he wasn't helping. Going back to that moment when we came out of that dammed tomb, a shiver went through my whole body. He had been so broken. I knew that and yet, the more I got to know him, the more I realized just how much that must've hurt. To hold on to something, someone, for so long just to later on realize they didn't give a damn.

"Because Katherine wasn't worth it, but you are." The silence settled in, while we were both reflecting at my words. Damon came closer to me, and took my hand in his. I shivered. He pretended not to notice. (Cowards the both of us)

"Elena, you being dead wouldn't help the people you love. Those people love you, and they want you to be safe. They want to spend time with you, hear you laugh, watch you bite your lower lip when you're really thinking about something, and tuck your hair behind your ear when you're nervous. The people who love you want to see you _alive_."

He got that. He got the little things that only my mom use to notice. How did he get to know me this well? He was looking at me with those eyes of his. Those eyes that were able to tell an entire story if only he would let his guard down for a minute. I just couldn't stand seeing him in pain, and he seemed to always be in pain. I raised my hand to his cheek.

"Damon," I murmured softly. I wanted to tell him what he meant to me. To explain why I wanted to save him. "Don't you ever, ever think, not even for a second, that you are not worth saving. You are a wonderful person. Bad things happen to you, and you acted out, that much is true. You made mistakes. Some of those mistakes were horrible yes, but who didn't? Please, don't think you're less of a person because of it. If anything you are a better person because of it."

"Tell you what. I will not question your sanity because you want to save me if you don't go on another suicide mission." He said softly. Whoever thought Damon was most dangerous when he growled and yelled, didn't know him to well. No, Damon was most dangerous when his voice was low. A soft purr with a fake calming echo in its tracks. He was like a feline. Quite and perfectly steady just before going for the kill.

"I will always protect the people that I love, Damon," I said quickly, scared of the intensity building up between us. Things were always like this between us. So raw, so intense. A fight with Damon would always leave me either hot and exhilarated or completely dried out. (Or turned on, but I couldn't admit to that)

"Me too." He said defiantly. "We will find another way, give us a chance. Give yourself a chance."

I nodded. What else could I have done? He was so stubborn. God, why did he have to be that stubborn? But then again, it was one of his best qualities. Loyal, passionate, stubborn. Yes, he was also impulsive and even reckless sometimes, but it was part of what made him…well, him. Despite what he had said earlier, about us having nothing in common, we were much alike really. Both extremely stubborn (bordering stupidity). Both capable and willing to put the people we loved above ourselves. Both afraid to let people down.

"You were not supposed to care, remember, so, why do you?" I asked him, upset that he won't agree with me. Scared that his annoying habit of putting himself between me and danger might one day get him killed.

"Why do I care Elena, really? Because I care about you, always did, always will." Well, there is that. "You believed in me even when I didn't. You cared, when no one else did. You took the time to get to know me, not to judge me. You…you understand me," he finished and he let out a sigh. As God is my witness, this man would be the death of me. My demise. My fall from grace.

"You understand me too," I said to him in a broken voice. For some reason, his words got to me. I felt a big knot in my throat making it difficult for me to speak.

"You mean a lot to me Elena," he looked away and so did I. It was too much, we've said too much. The wounds were still open. Too raw to put anything over them yet. (Must run and hide now)

"You mean a lot to me too," I whispered to him, half hoping he didn't hear me. But what were the chances he didn't? He was a vampire with supernatural hearing after all. The truth was that Damon Salvatore was one of my support pillars and one of the people I was willing to sacrifice my life for. It was as simple or as complicated as that. There was no room for interpretation or regrets. It was just the way it was and nothing more.

The proximity between us scared me, so I pulled back. As I have always done, because that was our thing. One tiny step forward, two giant steps back. Before, I used to think it was all because of me. Because I was too afraid to let him in. Because he had already touched a part of me no one else had. Now however I knew better. It was two sided. We were both terrified of what we came to mean to each other. Too afraid of giving more of ourselves to each other than we already had. Connection, understanding, call it what you will, it was too much. It was overwhelming, intoxicating, terrifying. We were both afraid we might get lost in it. (Like I said, a bunch of pussies)

"So, Mr. Salvatore, are you really going to keep me in this house all day long?" I asked in a sweet voice, taking a page out of his book and using humor to mask emotion. He couldn't blame me for using his own tactics after all.


	7. Chapter 7

**N: Hello there, it's that time of the week again, so here is another chapter. I truly hope you will enjoy it and please review to let me know. You are welcome to review even if you didn't enjoy it**

 **Appetite**

Damon gave me a long stare before answering. I supposed he was debating whatever or not this was a good place to pull back. I guess he decided it was, because he didn't go back to our previous conversation.

Instead he smirked softly and said: "Yes Elena, we're going to stay home, since I don't trust you not to run away," he watched me, as if he was daring me to retaliate with his way too beautiful eyes. (Prick)

I rolled my eyes at him. I wanted to come up with something katty, something sarcastic and rude, but I really did want to get out of the house. So I had decided on telling him so. "Oh, come on Damon, I need to get out of the house for a few hours, I'll behave, I promise," I said sweetly. "I had a really crappy day. Actually make that year. Please?" Being cooped up in the house did _not_ sound like a great way to pass time. Especially with all the tension between us. I couldn't trust myself around him. Not now. (When in an intimate situation, insert excuse)

"Fine," he raised his hands in the air as if he was surrendering. "We're going to the Grill, and you need to eat. I heard you didn't eat much these past few days."

"Who told you that?" I asked surprised. I thought my secret was safe. So much for it being a secret.

"Jenna and Alaric were talking about you a few minutes ago," he pointed to his ear and I understood he used his sensitive vampire hearing to eavesdrop on my aunt's conversation.

"Great, more people worrying about me."

"She loves you Elena. She is responsible for you, what did you expect?"

"I'm fine," Damon raised an eyebrow at me, but said nothing. "I'm not sick, I just haven't been in an eating mood lately."

"Could that possibly have anything to do with me?" (Walking talking contradiction AKA-Damon Salvatore – one moment he was walking around like he was God's gift on Earth. The next he didn't think he was good enough for a scared, silly teenage girl) he asked with a smirk. Like I could ever fool him. For some reason that had never been an option between us. We have always been unable to lie or hide from each other.

"Why would that have anything to do with you?" was I busted? If Damon figured out that his departure has affected me, then Stefan must've figured it out too. My heart ached in my chest at the thought. The last thing I wanted was to hurt Stefan. But then, I never wanted to hurt Damon either. And yet, is seemed that somehow, he always ended up being hurt.

"I don't know Elena, you tell me. I leave town and you get sick."

"I'm not sick," I protested. I had to salvage…what did I have to salvage really? Why couldn't I just admit that Damon's leave had affected me? He was my friend and it shouldn't surprise people that I was sad he left, right? No, it was ok to be sad when your friend left town, but it was not ok to stop eating, sleeping and have nightmares that they will never be back. Yes, spilling the beans was not a good idea. Not yet anyway. It was not the time. I had to understand this behavior myself before explaining it to others. If it could even be explained. Maybe I could plead temporary insanity. "And it has nothing to do with you. Now let's go, I'm starving," I finally finished and grabbed my jacket. In the corner of my eye I caught a glance of his face. He was smirking in that mischievous way that left no doubt in my mind he knew exactly why I had been 'sick'. (Or did he?)

We got to the Grill, and the waitress immediately came to our table. It was also clear why she had been so eager to help. Her eyes seemed ready to come out of their sockets and crawl all over the man beside me. Little slut. (Bitchy Elena was back)

"What can I get you guys?" She asked, giving Damon a big smile that made me grind my teeth. Will I ever get used to women falling all over themselves over him? Probably not. I had found Stefan attractive from the first time I laid my eyes on him and yet, I had to admit to myself if not anyone else, when I saw Damon for the first time, for a few seconds, I couldn't even recall Stefan's name. While Stefan was handsome in a human way, Damon had a supernatural beauty.

"I'll have a New York stake, curly fries, a salad and a beer," I answered using my hand to capture the waitress' attention because she was clearly hypnotized by Damon. (Not that I could blame her)

"I'll need to see some ID for that beer," she said and she seemed happy to do it. I was being punished for simply being in his company.

I looked at Damon, expecting him to compel the waitress into giving me a beer, but he didn't. He just shrugged as if to say 'if you want that beer you better find a way to get it' he was not going to help. Well, screw him. I wanted a beer and I will show him I could get it without his help. It wasn't my first rodeo. Of course it would've been easier if our waitress would've been a waiter. Preferably someone who wouldn't be looking at Damon the way the girl in front of me was. She looked just about ready to jump him.

"This is crazy. I come here all the time. I left it at home. Anyway, if you really must, I understand. It's alright, we'll go at the restaurant around the corner, the owner knows me, so lack of ID won't be a problem. I just think you guys have a better stake. Shh, don't tell anyone! I don't want to get you in any trouble, so we'll just go," I placed my palms against the table, ready to get up.

"I think I can make a small exception tonight, just have your ID next time, ok?"

"No problem," I said with a sweet smile.

"Your _boyfriend_ doesn't want anything to eat?" she asked sweetly, emphasizing the word 'boyfriend' to make a point. (Transparent much)

"No, he just ate, he's just keeping me company," I responded looking at Damon with fake dreamy eyes.

"I'll have a scotch, neat," Damon said.

The waitress left, and Damon gave me a weird stare.

"So, I'm your boyfriend tonight?" he asked. His mouth turned once again into that sexy smirk that I secretly adored and made my stomach do a flip-flop. (Bad girl)

Busted. "She was flirting with you. Thought I'd help," I said as if that was supposed to clarify my decision to let the young waitress believe we were a couple.

"So? Are you jealous?"

"I… no… I just…uhh," yeah, I was doing a great job explaining myself. Damon seemed to find my lack of coherency terribly amusing.

"It's ok. I like the sound of it. I haven't had a girlfriend in…well I'll be dammed, I never actually had one." Well that was something. I could think of few people who deserved the love and devotion of a relationship more than him. He just had so much to give.

"No because you're a coward, you're too afraid that you're going to get hurt to open yourself up to the possibility." Pot meet kettle. "You can't live like that Damon," I said instead. His eyes narrowed a little. (He is going to call me on my bullshit)

For a few moments he didn't say anything. He just watched me with those intense cobalt blues. I was curious what he will do. Push me? Pull away? I never knew with him.

He did neither. "I have time to change my mind, that's the beauty of the eternity. For now, I choose not to care."

"And how is that working for you?" I asked sarcastically.

"Good," he answered.

"Don't lie to me Damon, you care and you know it," I said more confident than I actually felt. But I knew, deep down in my heart, I knew. Plus, he did just tell me he cared about me just a few minutes ago before we left the house. "That's why you came back."

"How do you know that I don't have a malefic plan, a selfish reason?" he asked.

"Guess I don't. I could be wrong, but somehow I don't believe you do."

The friendly waitress came with the order. She placed the plate in front of me. The fries looked exceptionally tasty, and they smelled, incredible. Now that I had food in front of me, I realized just how hungry I had been. It was no wonder, all I had for the past few days were some sandwiches that my aunt forced me to eat, crackers at school and lots of coffee.

"Do you want something else, honey?" Damon asked in a baby voice making me regret presenting myself as his girlfriend earlier.

"No, I'm **fine** ," I answered, putting an accent on the word 'fine'. It had after all become one of my favorite words. I remembered only using this word as much after my parents died. Of course it was all a coincidence that Damon's departure brought back the overuse of the word.

"Are you sure princess?" He asked again.

Annoying vampire. "Yeah, I'm sure."

The waitress left satisfied, and I gave Damon an icy stare.

"What?" He asked with amusement in his voice. No need to answer that. I was sure he could see the annoyance in my eyes. It wasn't as if I was trying to hide it anyway. If he could read the things I was trying to hide in my eyes, I was sure he could read this as well.

Once I started eating, nothing else mattered. For the time being I forgot about the overly friendly waitress, the doppelganger who was trapped in the tomb with Stefan. I forgot about everything. My mind was delightfully blank. Everything tasted delicious and I couldn't seem to get enough.

"Wow! Easy there wolfy, you're going to choke."

I didn't answer his rude comment. Actually, I didn't speak until I finished eating; and by finished, I mean I cleaned the plate. The only thing left was a slice of a pickle. He looked at the pickle and smiled. I returned his smile, knowing exactly what brought it about. He was remembering our little trip to Georgia.

In a minute, the waitress came for the empty plate.

"Do you have deserts?" I asked. "Cake?"

"We have chocolate cake, apple pie, cherry pie, and ice-cream," the waitress answered and pulled out her small notebook.

"I'll have a piece of apple pie with vanilla ice-cream and a slice of chocolate cake, please."

"Ok," the girl approved with a shocked look on her face. She scrabbled something with a bright blue pen. After she was done, she looked at Damon. He smiled and shook his head, letting her know he didn't want anything. When she left, he looked at me in the same way the waitress did.

"Where are you planning on putting all that food?" He asked surprised.

"What? Now if I'm a girl it means I can't eat?"

"Yeah, but girl, you eat more than I do." He said and I chuckled. It was mind-blowing the way we could always go from screaming at each other, talking about life and death situations, to having silly conversations like this one.

"That's not fair, considering that our diets are very different." I offered.

After I had my deserts, we headed back to my house. Damon told me he'll be around and left me alone in the living room. I went to my room, stopped in the middle of it, and looked in the mirror. I didn't recognize the relaxed content woman looking back. A few days ago, all I could see was a sad defeated little girl. I smiled at the reflection. Guilt took over as soon as I remembered Stefan. Stuck in a dark tomb with Katherine. I cursed under my breath and walked to the window to look outside.

"Looking for me?" Damon asked.

I was so used to him sneaking in my room, that he didn't scare me. I turned around slowly and saw him sitting on the chair beside my desk.

"I was looking at the moon, it's beautiful. It's full moon. Oh, my God! It's full moon. Tyler, he's going to_"

"Calm down," Damon interrupted me. "Vampire Barbie's handling it. She did a good job last night, the wolf-boy didn't get out. So, I told her to stay on it. You should be in bed, it's late."

I went to the bathroom and changed. When I got back he was sitting in the exact same place.

"You are not seriously going to keep an eye on my all night long, are you?" I asked, crossing my hands against my chest. He just positioned himself more comfortably before speaking.

"Yes I am," he said simply.

"Damon," I rolled my eyes. "Be serious."

"I am being very serious, Elena."

"This is absolutely ridiculous and rather uncomfortable to be honest."

"Look," he said straightening himself in the chair. "I could go outside and stand in a tree outside your window. Personally, I find that just as uncomfortable and intrusive, not to mention I much prefer the chair to a tree branch. Now, just get in bed, please. I promise not to get anywhere near you during the night or go through your underwear drawer. Actually, I will most probably pace in front of the window and sit on this chair all night long."

Crazy, stubborn, pain in my ass. I got in bed and looked at him. "Are you really going to stay there and stare at me all night?" I still had trouble grasping the concept of him staring at me all night long as I slept. It was…weird.

"Uhh, Yeah. Since your boyfriend's trapped in a tomb, and you haven't been cured from, uhm, whatever they call it when a person keeps risking their life foolishly. I guess we don't really have another choice."

I knew it was nothing I could say to change his mind at this point. So, I got under the covers and closed my eyes. I fell asleep in just a few minutes under his protective gaze.


	8. Chapter 8

**N: I wrote this one a few times. Still not 100% happy but… let me know what you think!**

 **Just a Taste**

I found myself in a forest, but surprisingly enough it wasn't dark. It was actually, pretty bright. Enough to make my eyes narrow. I was flying on top of the trees, feeling light as a feather. I looked down, and saw Stefan and Damon on the ground. They weren't moving, so I flew over there to see why. Somewhere in the back of my head, I did think that flying shouldn't be possible. Yet it felt nature. As if I had always been able to do it and it was no big deal. It was part of me. I touched the ground and started walking over to Stefan. He was the closest.

"Stefan, Stefan, it's me Elena, wake up!" But he wasn't moving. His face was still as stone. The color of his skin wasn't far from that of a stone either. He wasn't breathing as far as I could tell. But then again he was a vampire so that didn't surprise me. I couldn't help but think that something was wrong. Horribly wrong. There was a feeling of dread that felt heavy in the pit of my stomah.

I tried to put my hand on his cheek and turn him around, but my hand passed through. I stood up, and went over to Damon, to try to wake him up.

Just as with Stefan, my hand was unable to make contact with him. What the hell?

"Damon, Damon!" I tried. He didn't wake up either.

I started looking around for someone to help me, but it looked like I was alone. I didn't know what was wrong with me, why couldn't I touch them. Something really terrible must be going on. Both Stefan and Damon were lying unconscious on the ground and I couldn't touch them. Why couldn't I touch them? Better yet, where the hell was I? What had happened to them? What if they were seriously injured, or worse, dead? And not in the way vampires were, but **dead** dead.

I tried screaming for help, but no one answered. I had no idea what to do and panic was now threatening to take over. I tried to remember what had happened previously, but nothing came to mind. It was as if I had been thrown into this forest just minutes ago. I felt as if I was watching a movie's end without having seen the beginning. So I had no clue what was going on.

After running in circles for what seemed like hours, I let myself fall under a tree, just sitting there, not knowing what to do. The Salvatore brothers were probably dying and I couldn't do anything. All I seemed to be able to do was watch.

Suddenly, I heard a noise. I looked around, standing up from the cold forest floor. The voice belonged to a girl; that much was certain. She sounded scared and anxious.

"Damon, Damon," I heard her call. She was getting closer, judging by the volume of her voice. Once she got close enough, I recognized her voice. It was my voice. This situation was getting more bizarre by the second.

My suspicions got confirmed as the girl came running from somewhere deeper in the woods. She was panting and doing her best to dodge the dense trees. Some she managed to avoid at the last minute, some she slammed into. Each time, she would place her palms in front of her to soften the collision and kept going.

"Katherine?" I called, thinking it must be her. At least to my knowledge, she was the only other person in the world who had my voice and my looks. However as she got close enough, I started questioning my theory. Her arms and palms were bruised and scratched. There was fresh blood all over her skin and clothes. Katherine would not have had that problem. She also would not have collided with so many trees thanks to her vampire reflexes. Also, it would make no sense for Katherine to run at normal human speed. It shouldn't have taken her more than a few seconds to reach the brothers.

She kneeled besides Damon as soon as she reached the still collapsed brothers. With care, she placed his head in her lap. The gesture stirred something inside of me. Such a tender and affectionate thing to do. Such a un-Katherine move.

"Damon, it's Elena, do you hear me? Damon wake up baby, please! You promised me you will never leave me; I need you to hold on to that promise." What? That couldn't have been me. Could've? We lived in a supernatural world so I guess anything was possible. Since I had been unable to touch anything, I must only be a ghost or spirit. So I was watching myself. Weird.

I got closer to her. (Me?) And said softly: "Hey, Stefan is your boyfriend, not Damon. You should go to him, see if he is ok." I got no answer.

I saw her lowering her head, and kiss Damon softly on his still lips. I took my hand to my mouth as I felt the kiss. What the hell was happening, why was **I** , feeling that? The girl started crying, and I felt the tears rolling on my own cheeks with no control to stop them. If I had any doubts on whatever or not the woman kneeling on the ground was me, they evaporated. I felt what she felt. There was no other explanation. She was me.

"Please Damon, please don't die on me. You can't do this to me, I love you." She mumbled through muffled sobs.

This was insane. "Love him?" I asked aloud. "You can't love him, what about Stefan? Are you insane?" I asked, but again, I received no answer.

I got back in the place I was before the other me came there, and took a sit on the ground. I watched myself hold Damon tight to my chest, moving back and forward, like I was performing some kind of ritual to bring him back to life.

DPV

I opened my eyes and immediately looked towards the bed at Elena. She was calling my brother's name. Her voice seemed panicky and desperate. I pulled myself up, and went by the bed. She seemed to be having a nightmare. Judging by the way her face was contorting and the painful tone of her voice, she was not having fun. I thought it was over, but when I turned around, I heard her call my name this time. The same pain and desperation noticeable in her voice. Well, that was new.

Making my way back to the bed, I pulled the hair out of her face with my fingers. Her skin was burning. Mind you, as a vampire, I ran cold, so anything warmer then room temperature seemed kind of hot to me. But I had been on this earth for far too long to not be able to tell the difference. Her skin was not normal temperature. She was burning up. I looked at her. 'What do I do?' I asked myself.

She looked scared, and worried. I hadn't had to deal with humans and their nightmares in a long time. Too long for me to remember what to do. Was it best to let them be or wake them up? I had no idea. Luckily, I didn't have to decide because in a few minutes, it all stopped. So I decided not to wake her since her nightmare seemed to have come to an end. I took a sit beside her on the bed. In a few seconds, I noticed the tears on her face. Shining in the moon light. She looked so broken, so vulnerable. I wiped her hot tears with my hand, and she opened her eyes. She looked at me for what seemed like days. Her eyes were traveling all over my face. The girl seemed eager to take it all in. Take **me** all in. As if she had been starved for days and I was the main course. Slowly, she raised her hand and cupped my cheek. She pulled me towards her, with more force that I thought her capable of. Our lips touched, and I felt as if all oxygen had left my brain. In that moment I was no longer flesh and bone. I was but overwhelming emotions. A part of me wanted to pull away, a part of me wanted to swallow her whole, devour her until there was nothing left. Merge with her until we were but one being. Her hand moved slightly upwards and her slim fingers tangled in my hair, pulling me closer. The right thing to do would've been to pull away. I was taking advantage of her state. Who knew what she had been dreaming about. However, it was hard to pull away from something I had been yearning for since I had met her. I had wanted nothing more than for the girl now attached to my lips to kiss me. Now she did. Was I really about to deny myself that? After all, I had never been particularly good at denying myself something I had wanted.

Hell she felt so good. Her hot lips seemed to melt my rational thoughts away. And the taste of her. She tasted like the sweetest fruit. She tasted like the thing dreams and hope are made of.

Nobility be damned.

I kissed her back.

EPV

I felt Damon's cold hand on my cheek, wiping my tears away. The gesture reminded me of how gently I placed his head in my lap. Such a beautiful touch. I opened my eyes, and looked into his. Then my eyes traveled hungrily all over his features. Taking it all in, making sure that this time it was not a dream. That he was really there, in front of me. Alive. Well, as alive as a vampire could be. I could still feel my lips burning from the kiss we indirectly shared in my dream. I raised my hand slowly and cupped his cheek. I pulled him towards me. My heart started hammering in my chest. I just wanted to see if it will feel the same. To feel his lips against mine once. Just once. Somewhere from the deep corners of my mind – the part that still held on to reason – was whispering that I was about to do something wrong. But my fragile mind was unable to hold on to reason. I was acting purely on instinct. Raw emotions and nothing else were guiding me.

The moment that his lips touched mine, my body felt as if it caught on fire. My brain started melting, my legs started trembling. So lost in my euphoria, I didn't even noticed Damon was not kissing me back. It felt so right, so perfect, so much better than my dream. I stuck my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer to me. It felt like my entire life depended on that kiss. That if I pulled away from him I will simply vanish. I just couldn't pull away. The voice of reason was screaming in my head. Screaming at me to stop, but I couldn't. Kissing Damon seemed in that moment as essential as breathing. My entire body was buzzing with life. Life as I had never felt it before.

Finally his lips moved over mine, taking over. I let out a breath against his mouth. God, so that was how it felt like to be kissed by him? It was like being pieced back together after being broken. It felt like warmth after being cold for hours. Like drinking water after being parched for days. His lips were so soft, so smooth, nibbling, feeling, exploring. The game finished once his tongue slipped between my lips and glided against my own. It made my chest tighten. I could feel my pulse at my neck, at my wrists, in my breasts and between my legs.

Damon was the one who pulled away. I blinked a few times and looked at him. The emotions in his eyes were too much for me to handle so I let my eyelids fall shut. Yes, I knew I was a coward. It always seemed to happen when it came to Damon. It wasn't fair to him, but that was always happening. The intensity between us has always made me want to run and hide.


	9. Chapter 9

**N: Hello and thank you for your continued interest in the story and your kind support. This chapter is a lot more plot and I hope you will enjoy it. Review to let me know your thoughts and if you have any question, don't hesitate to ask!**

 **New Day, New Plan**

I opened my eyes and immediately became aware of the body lying beside me. I had been waking up alone for so long, it felt strange. The presence of someone else in my bed was unfamiliar. And yet, the way Damon's body felt next to mine, felt good. I turned around and put my head on his shoulder. He moved a little closer and wrapped his arms around my body. My hand automatically found its way to his chest. Actually, my whole body seemed to want to be as close to him as possible. Mold into him. The feeling I got was so peaceful. It gave me the feeling that I could never get hurt again. I felt safe and protected. The overwhelming feelings I was experiencing almost made me cry. No one and nothing could get to me simply because Damon was there. I took a deep breath, inhaling his scent. He smelled just like he looked. Dangerous, forbidden and sexier than the devil.

"It's ok, everything's going to be ok." He murmured close to my ear. His voice was like a warm, gentile caress.

Hearing him talk to me like that, in that calm reinsuring voice, broke something inside of me. Broke my self-control. Feeling his tight embrace, having his scent invade my nostrils. His voice touched my very soul. It was too much. I just couldn't hold it back anymore. I started crying faintly. "I lied to you," I said in a weak voice. If he wouldn't have had vampire hearing he wouldn't have been able to hear me. "I…I was sad you left."

"It's ok. I am here now," he whispered back.

He pulled the hair out of my face with his fingers, in a sweet tender move. Had this side of him always been there? Did it surface because he left? Or because of me? The whole thing was only making me more confused. I had always known that Damon had the capacity to be good, kind, gentile even but this. This was a whole new level. "Hey, hey…look at me! I'm here, ok?" he went on.

"Why did you leave, Damon?" I asked.

"I don't know," he hesitated. "I guess I wanted to prove to myself that I could still do it. You know, walk away when I wanted, if I wanted."

"Yeah, I get it," I whispered. I wiped away my tears and took in a deep breath.

He exposed himself too much, letting his guard down and reveling his feelings for me. He had experienced a moment of weakness and that scared him, so he ran away. A typical Damon move. Or maybe simply a self-preservation move. We all had our own defense mechanisms when it came to protecting our hearts. I looked at him. This felt like the perfect moment to let him know that I knew about the compulsion. We were both relaxed, with our guards down.

"Damon, I_"

"Shhh!" He pressed a finger to my lips. After a few seconds, the door opened and Jeremy appeared in the doorway, looking all confused. His confusion amused me. It was all over his face. After he walked inside, he closed the door slowly, and asked: "Am I interrupting something?"

That was the moment I realized just how it must've looked like. Damon's arms around me, my head on his shoulder, my hand on his chest. We were basically intertwined. Close enough to each other, that you couldn't have squeezed a needle between us. I immediately pulled back, and got to my side of the bed. The weird thing was that I hadn't wanted to pull back. The gesture had simply been for my little brother's benefit. Not for me. If it were up to me, I would've spent the rest of the day in Damon's arms. Somehow, I felt as if I had the right too. He had been gone and I had missed him. Now that he was back, I just wanted to spend time with him.

But did I really have the right to?

"No, you are not interrupting anything. Damon just decided that I needed babysitting all night." I said, not sure of what exactly I should do. Get out of bed? Stay in bed? Kick Damon out?

Jeremy raised his eyebrows at me. "I agree with that, but I don't think your boyfriend will approve of the way you're doing it. I don't think he'll get the two of you sleeping in the same bed part." He said. I rolled my eyes. The hell with what everybody thought. Maybe the time for selfishness had finally arrived. Maybe it was my turn to do what I wanted and not care about the consequences for once. (woha!)

"He's not my boyfriend, we are on a break," I said, and realized a few seconds later that it had been the wrong answer. I should have said that nothing was going on between Damon and me. Or that Stefan had nothing to worry about. Basically, I should've said anything, **but** that.

"I was just saying." he raised his hands. "So what's the plan for today?" Jeremy asked, looking at Damon.

Suddenly I almost jumped out of bed. "Something's vibrating!" I said looking at the bed.

"It's just a phone, Elena," Damon said getting his cell phone out of his pocket. Before answering, he waved the device in my face.

"Yes, Bonnie."

He listened for a minute before answering.

"They're both here," another pause. "You do that…yes, we'll be there in fifteen minutes."

I shook my head, letting him know that I needed more time to get ready.

"Actually, make that thirty."

I smiled at him in approval, and got out of bed, going to the bathroom to get ready.

When I got back, Jeremy was gone. It was just me and Damon again. My room had never felt smaller. We were looking at each other without saying a word, but I understood everything he didn't say, and I'm sure he understood me too. We were both thinking about the intense kiss we shared during the night. I was so grateful to him for not demanding an explanation from me. I knew full well he deserved one. I also knew I would've had no explanation to give. Last night I acted on impulse. There had been no rational thinking. I couldn't recall how I came to make the decision to kiss Damon. I simply had.

The moment got broken by Caroline, who practically jumped through the window. Did every vampire in Mystic Falls have to get into my house through my bedroom window? Really? That had and will always be Damon's thing. The rest of them should use the damn front door. As they have been in the past.

She looked at me, then at Damon really attentively. Then back at me.

"I'll go get my car from the boarding house, Jeremy took your aunt's car." Damon said, and then he walked in front of Caroline.

The blonde took a step back, but he followed. They were so close, their noses almost touching. "If you lose her from your sight, I'll kill you." He said smiling, but his voice betrayed the gravity of his words. I knew he wasn't kidding, and so did Caroline. He turned around, and looked at me one more time, before jumping out of the window with the grace of a tiger.

Caroline looked after him for a few seconds, then she gave me a strange stare.

"Did you sleep with him?" She asked.

"What?" I almost yelled. "No, I didn't sleep with him. How can you ask me something like that? You can't be serious, I mean, really?"

"Wow, a simple 'no' would've been enough. I was just asking." She waived her hand as if to dismiss the question. "Well, something definitely happened between the two of you. You could practically feel the tension in the room," she looked around as if to reinforce her words. "Elena, it's not healthy to hold something like that in. This is information you need to share. So spill it out!"

"Spill what out?"

"Do you, like…want to sleep with Damon?"

"Caroline!" I yelled again.

"Elena, look, I know we were never, like, best friends, but we are friends. I've known you since kindergarten. I know when something's bothering you, and I know it must have something to do with Damon. Maybe everything to do with Damon. Seriously, 'bad mood' doesn't even begin to describe the way you acted when he left."

"I just had one of those periods, when you're in a bad mood without any specific reason," I tried.

"Elena, you were hurting. And it was more than just being sad because someone you considered a friend left. You were kind of lost. I remember only seeing that look on your face when your parents died."

Trust the blonde-hair-perfect-manicure-mouth-with-no-filter to say it just like it was. That was the one thing I both loved and hated about Caroline in equal measure. She had never been afraid to speak her mind. No matter how hurtful or embarrassing it was for the other person, Caroline would always say it.

"I was shocked, I guess," I shrugged. "I felt guilty, in a way. Pushing him away so many times. Taking advantage of his feelings for me. Manipulating him to get my way. No wonder he left. Did I miss him? Yes. But I felt like I didn't even deserve to miss him, and I most certainly didn't deserve for him to come back. During all this time and after everything he did for me, for us, I never even thanked him. Not even once have I told him what he meant to me. I took him for granted Caroline, assuming he will always be there, saving me whenever I need it, no questions asked." Caroline nodded subtly.

"Did you guys have a fight before he took off?" she asked.

"Not really…" that was a hard one to explain.

I took in a deep breath. I wasn't sure if I should tell Caroline about what Damon told me before he left and compelled me to forget. Somehow it just felt too personal. I didn't tell Bonnie about it and Bonnie and I have always been closer. Besides Damon, Bonnie was the person that knew me best. Understood me and supported me when no one else could or would.

"Damon's back," Caroline announced.

Thank God I didn't have to answer Caroline's intense stare.

I took my jacked and we got out. Automatically, I got in the front sit, besides Damon. He put his hand on my knee, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"You ok?" He asked.

"Yeah," I answered and give him a reassuring smile. For the first time in a long time, I meant it. So a bunch of all powerful vampires were after me. My ex-boyfriend was stuck in a tomb with his crazy, obsessive ex. None of those things seemed as frightening anymore. Because Damon was back. If he was there by my side, I knew I could get through it all.

"Jeremy's already at Bonnie's house, we should get going," he said looking ahead, like he was talking to himself. Then I saw Caroline nodding and getting in her car and figured he must've been talking to her. She took off, her tires scratching and we followed.

He didn't take his hand off my knee until we got there. Like he said, Jeremy was already there. We got inside, and Damon took a seat beside me, he was always beside me, and I must admit, it felt good.

"So, what's with the meeting?" Damon asked.

"I figured out a way to get Stefan out of the tomb," Bonnie responded.

"Finally," I said and everybody watched me for a minute. Why was everyone so surprised that I wanted Stefan out of that tomb? After all, he got stuck in there because of me. Yes, things between us were complicated. But that didn't mean I wanted to leave him there indefinitely.

"If it would only be that easy. I'm afraid I need information that Katherine has."

"What kind of information?" Damon asked immediately.

"Well, remember the other witch that was at the Masquerade ball and was helping Katherine?" Damon nodded. "We're kind of related and I know she's strong enough to lift the spell."

"How do you know she'll help?" I asked. It was a legit question. After all, we were talking about a witch that initially had been working with Katherine. Not to mention the fact that her spell almost killed me.

"Because she already did it once, I'm sure she'll help. The problem is, I have no idea how to get in contact with her."

"You guys didn't exchange numbers and spells or something?" Damon raised an eyebrow at Bonnie and she rolled her eyes.

"No, Damon. We didn't really have time to exchange pleasantries. In case you forgot Elena was in danger and you and your brother were stuck in a room with Katherine." She waited for a few seconds but no one said anything. "We should talk to Katherine," she finished.

"No, no, no! She'll want to get out in order to talk," Damon said looking at Bonnie then at me.

"So what? Let her out, she can't do more damage than she already did. Stefan and I, are not together, as per her request. She got what she wanted," I said.

"Elena, it's Katherine, even in hell she'll find a way to make it worse," Damon said dramatically. He might have a point though. "She'll want to take revenge on us for putting her in there. I know I would."

"I don't think so. Think about it, Damon, the most powerful vampires in history are after her, and they're on their way to town. I don't think she'll choose to stay here and take her revenge on us knowing she's definitely not safe. Not when she can just run. The way she has been for the past five centuries. Old habits are hard to break."

"Elena is right. Katherine has been running for five hundred years, it's natural to her to do that in order to be safe," Bonnie approved.

"Ok, fine!" Damon raised his hands above his head. "Bonnie, you're coming with me to the tomb. Jeremy, you can go inform Alaric. Not that I really care about him being informed, but when it comes to rescue missions, we go way back."

"I want to come with you!" I demanded in an irritated voice.

"Oh, let me think about it. Hmmm…no! Caroline, you babysit."

Damon got out of the house before I had the time to protest. I looked towards Caroline and she shrugged, giving me an apologetic look.

THE TOMB

"We have visitors, I love visitors," Katherine said walking to the entrance of the tomb. Stefan rolled his eyes and followed her.

"You don't get it, do you? You are not strong enough little witch. You're going to get yourself killed. Not that I care, but I would still be trapped in here." Katherine said, looking at Bonnie.

"Could you just shut up for a minute, we're here to strike a deal," Damon said.

"Don't do that Damon," Stefan said to his brother approaching the entrance from behind Katherine.

"Sorry little bro, no choice, really. We found a way to get you out, but we need some information that she has," Damon said, looking at Katherine with disgust.

"And what information would that be?" Katherine asked, suddenly getting sparkles in her eyes. Damon briefly remembered a time when that sparkle in her eyes thrilled him. Seeing her excited used to be enough to ignite something within him. Now it was different. Everything was so different. As soon as he realized he had fallen in love with Elena Gilbert, Damon came to the sad conclusion that what he had felt for Katherine had never been love. Not real love anyway. Closer to infatuation, obsession maybe, but not love.

"I need to find Lucy," Bonnie said.

"I'm surprised you didn't think about it sooner. Now, what do I get out of it?"

Predictable, Damon thought. Something he never thought he would say about his former lover. Katherine had been many things over the time he knew her as a human, but predictable had never been one of them. How young and naïve he had been. How foolish. If only he could go back. But then again, if things would've happened differently, he wouldn't be here. He wouldn't have met Elena. He would've never gotten the opportunity to experience real love. There it was. The only reason why Damon could never hate Katherine Pierce was that she made it possible for him to meet Elena.

"You get out too." Damon said calmly. He could see his brother shaking his head. He chose to ignore Stefan for the time being. "But there is a condition," he went on and the brunette vampire nodded. "You leave and never come back in Mystic falls. Ever."

"That's not going to happen." Katherine said raising her eyebrows. "But tell you what, I promise in exchange for my freedom, I won't kill any of you. And it's the best I have to offer."

"You won't kill anyone in town and we have a deal."

"Fine, I won't kill anyone in town," Katherine said in a bored tone. "You guys are boring."

Damon chose to ignore her last sentence. He didn't know exactly when he himself stopped viewing killing people as entertaining. "Great, now tell us where to find your old witch-friend?"

"If any of you are screwing with me, you're all dead. I hope you realize that."

"Not everyone is like you Katherine, always screwing people," Damon said to her in a fake sweet voice.

"Well, what can I say, since I can't be unique physically, I'm looking for that uniqueness in my personality. But you're not here to talk about my issues. Give me a pen and a piece of paper," she demanded.

Bonnie got a small agenda and a pen out of her handbag and threw them towards Katherine, who wrote something on it and threw it back.

"I'll keep the pen," she said.

Damon took the paper and looked at it.

"That's only a few minutes outside Mystic falls," he said, sure that the witch she had been working with must be living much further. Damon had been in and out Mystic Falls many times over the decades. He would've known if another Bennett witch would've lived so close to his birth town. After all, he had made a vow to Emily that he will look over her family.

"Yes, it's where I was staying. You go there, and on a chair in the corner of the room, you'll find a stuffed bear, inside the bear should be a box, bring it to me."

Damon took off and came back with her box in less than fifteen minutes and gave it to Katherine.

"Stefan, do you mind?" She asked turning her back to Stefan. He simply watched her confused.

"The key is in the label of my bra. I can't reach it, unless I give you all a striptease."

Stefan moved towards the vampire unsure.

"What is it Stefan, afraid you're going to want to do something more to me once you get me undressed?" Katherine asked smiling.

"I just don't understand why you can't simply rip it open?"

"Because the box has been spelled by a witch. No supernatural being would be able to open it. Give me some credit Stefan," Katherine explained.

Stefan got closer, and pulled the zipper down until the back of her bra was revealed. He stuck his hand underneath and ripped the label off. He took the key from inside and gave it to her, then he turned around ready to run off, but she caught his hand. She looked deep inside his green eyes, licked her lips and said: "Zip it back, please."

Stefan zipped her dress back, and got away from her. He couldn't help but wonder what his reactions meant. Was he supposed to feel this strongly towards her? He took a quick, unnoticeable glance at his brother. Besides the occasional look of disgust and boredom, he seemed unaffected by Katherine. Ironic since Damon was the one supposedly in love with their former lover.

"Thank you, you're a sweetheart," Katherine murmured soft enough so only he could hear her. Her voice pulled him back to the moment.

She opened the small box and took out a piece of paper. She looked at it for a minute before talking. "I need your agenda again witch."

Bonnie threw it to her. Katherine caught the object with ease. She wrote something in it and then threw it back to them. "Here, that's the address. I would've given you the phone number but somehow, I think she's changed it. I doubt she also moved."

Bonnie took a quick look at the small agenda before ripping the paper and handing it to Damon. "Here," she said. She placed the agenda back in her purse and they walked out of the tomb without another word.

BONNIE'S HOUSE

"They're back!" Caroline announced.

"Finally," I said, getting up from the couch. It felt like Damon and Bonnie had been gone for days.

After a few minutes, Bonnie and Damon got inside the house. I couldn't help it as my eyes immediately flew to Damon. Eagerly searching for any signs that he had been hurt. Satisfied that he was alright, I moved my attention to my friend who had just started speaking.

"We got the address," Bonnie said.

"Great, when are you leaving?" I asked.

"There is a problem," she said softly. "I can't go. It's too far. It will take at least two days to go there and come back, my father will freak out. He is already suspecting that I fell in with the 'wrong crowed' or something. He is keeping an annoyingly close look on me."

"He is not wrong," Damon said. "I'll go," he offered. "And you're coming with me," he went on looking at me.

"Why?" I asked surprised. I was sure he would have just ordered me to stay home and made Caroline and Jeremy watch me around the clock.

"Because I don't trust you enough to let you out of my sight."

Typical control freak.

ELENA'S HOUSE

"Do you really need all these for two or three days?" he asked pointing at my luggage resting in the middle of the room. I didn't find it too much. I only had a small suitcase, a duffle bag and my handbag.

"Yes Damon, I do," I answered putting my hair brush in the duffle bag.

"Why do you need two pairs of earrings for?" he asked making a funny gesture with his hands.

"I'm a girl, I need things I don't need," I defended myself. Really, I was a light packer compared to Caroline. Not a great argument grant you. The Queen of England probably packed lighter than Caroline.

"Fine, I give up. But hurry we have a long way to go," he said.

"How many hours of driving?" I asked handing him the suitcase.

"Eight there, eight back."

"Wow!"

"Yeah, good thing we're good at all that, road trip bonding thing," he said and winked at me over his shoulder. My heart skipped a beat, but I didn't say anything, I just followed him to the car.


	10. Chapter 10

**N: Is it Thursday already? Guess it is. So here is a new chapter and my big 'thank you'(s) for your kind words and support (it feels like being filled with rainbows).**

 **More to come next week!**

 **Out of the Road and Into the Frying Pan**

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive? You've been driving for almost six hours." I put my phone back in my bag. I have been playing Candy Crush for the past hour and was almost out of battery. Although that might've been due to Caroline's every five minute texts too. Just a few minutes after Damon and I left, Caroline texted.

'Is there something going on between you and Damon? I feel like there is something going on. Jeremy told me you two slept in the same bed and he caught you guys snuggling this morning'

 _We weren't snuggling Care, he just stayed over to make sure I don't run to Elijah again or the tomb. We slept in the same bed, so what? We are not kids anymore, get over IT!_

'I am not stupid you know'

 _I never said you were!_

'I can tell something's going on. If you like Damon you don't have to be ashamed. I fell for his charms too remember?'

After that delightful revelation that somehow had been pushed out of my mind, I stopped texting Caroline back. I didn't know why, but the thought that Caroline had slept with Damon made me very uncomfortable. And okay, maybe a little jealous. Letting out a soft breath I looked at Damon in the corner of my eye, unconsciously biting my lip. One and on the steering weal, one on the gearshift. He rolled the sleeves of his navy shirt op to his elbows. Which made the material even tighter around is arms. I could see his muscles flex each time he moves his arms. The first two buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned, his pale skin peering through.

Over the past hours as he is been driving, he kept passing his hand through his hair and it was now ruffled. Yes, Damon Salvatore has sex hair and he was rocking it. 

"No, I don't want you to drive, since we're going to be there in less than ten minutes," he said and I had to shake my head a few times to concentrate to what he had said.

"Ten minutes?" I asked surprised once I put the words together. "I thought you said it's an eight hours drive." I was pretty sure that was what Damon had said before we even left.

"It is. We're spending the night at a motel." Once again, my heart decided to do a flip. Apparently certain words coming from Damon's mouth had that effect on my heart. I didn't know for sure what that meant, but it must mean something. (Elena Gilbert, liar extraordinaire, especially to herself) "We'll leave in the morning, go see Lucy and convince her to come with us and help. If it doesn't take too long to convince her, we will leave right away. In that case we won't have to stop on our way back." He finished.

"Looks like you got it all planed out." I kind of wished he would've told me about his plans to stop on the way. I felt like it was something I had the right to know in advance. To prepare for it or something.

"Yep, I always do that." True. Damon Salvatore was always the guy with a plan. Sometimes he shared his plans, sometimes he didn't. But he always had a plan.

Just like Damon said, we got at the motel in about eight minutes. We got inside, I couldn't help but look around. It looked small, but clean. There were a million paintings on the walls. Some good some not so much so. I stopped and looked at them as Damon advanced to the reception. A young woman came from a room in the back and gave Damon a big, bright smile. For a second I wondered if he had ever been turned down by a woman in his life. Not that I didn't get the appeal. I let out a sigh. (Panties melter at twelve o'clock)

"How can I help you?" the girl asked cheerfully.

"I need a room, uhh…"

"Amanda," she said quickly, looking down at her name tag.

"Aman-da," Damon said smoothly. Oh he was using his soothing, seductive voice. God, he sounded like the eights sin. Yep, there will be: gluttony, lust, sloth, pride, wroth, envy, greed and Damon Salvatore. A sex line company would've made millions with him. I was sure plenty of women would've paid good money simply to hear their names purr out of his mouth.

The woman looked at the computer screen in front of her for a minute. She kept lifting her eyes to Damon every few seconds as if she was making sure he was still there.

"You're lucky. It's the only vacant one left, and it has a king size bed," she said with a wink. Ugh, she was so obvious. What was my problem? (Jealousy? Never heard of it)

When I heard the 'the only one left' and 'king size bed' part, my heart started beating faster. 'Ok Elena, calm down' I told myself. I got beside Damon and looked at the girl who was writing something in a notebook.

"Perfect," Damon said and paid for the room.

The girl finished her typing and leaned over the counter. "Are you sure there is nothing else I can do for you?" she asked with a suggestive look on her face as she handed him the key.

"We're good, thanks," I said and took Damon's hand into mine. I had no idea what possessed me to do that. (Really?) For some inexplicable reason, the fact that this girl was flirting with Damon was bothering me. (Wonder why?)

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were… not alone." The young girl said. But I knew better. I was sure that even with that information, she would've still taken Damon for a ride, without blinking. The way she was looking at him was giving her away. Her eyes were sparkling, her pupils dilated, greedily taking in every inch of him.

"Don't worry about it. She gets very possessive sometimes." Damon said and pulled me closer to him. "Don't be jealous baby, you know you're the only one for me." I was sure he meant the last sentence as a joke, but I couldn't help the effect his words had on me. My breath got stuck in my throat for a second and my stomach filled with restless butterflies.

I smiled at him and we got outside to grab the bags from the car. We both reached for the same bag at the same time. Our hands touched for a moment and we both stopped. I felt the electricity everywhere in my body, starting from my fingertips and ending in the tips of my toes. I bit my lower lip, scared from the intensity of such a simple touch.

"I got it, just take your handbag from the front sit," he said to me. His voice was different this time. A bit raspy and raw. I looked at his face in the corner of my eye. There was no emotion on it. But I didn't need his face to tell me he had been affected by our accidental touch. I knew he had been affected by it, judging by the sound of his voice. No matter how hard Damon tried to keep his emotions hidden, they ended up coming out one way or another. Whoever thought Damon didn't have feelings clearly didn't know him. Damon's problem was not that he didn't feel. Damon's problem was that he felt too much.

I got the bag from the passenger sit and practically ran towards the room. Once I remembered that we'll be sharing the room (the bed), I slowed down. When I got inside, he was already there.

"You can go first," he said to me, pointing towards the bathroom.

I gathered some clothes in a rush and got inside the small bathroom. I placed the clothes carefully in the hanger on the door and took in a few deep breaths before undressing. The water drops were dancing in an erotic rhythm on my skin. It was so cold that my teeth were chattering, but it couldn't extinguish the fire inside me. When I was done, I took the big fluffy towel from the small cabinet and wrapped it around my body. I started applying body lotion on my arms, my chest, and my legs. I could feel my skin burning beneath my hands, despite the cold shower I just took. Letting out another frustrated breath, I brushed my hair and decided to let it dry by itself. I got dressed and got out to let Damon take my place. When I came out of the room, I saw him holding a tray and a box of milk in his hands.

"All they have downstairs are bagels, fruits and milk," he said like he was apologizing for the limited choices. I wasn't really hungry. Or at least it wasn't food what I was craving. (New Elena was also a perv) I felt my cheeks flush at the thought. Since when did I start acting like a horny teenager anyway?

"That's ok, thank you," I said.

He put the tray on the table and speeded up into the bathroom.

I ate half a bagel, two strawberries and I drank the milk. I looked over at the huge bed in the middle of the room. There was no couch, no armchair, nothing, and I was sure that Damon will not be sleeping on the floor. Well, nothing I could do about the situation anyway. I got in bed, and basically cocooned myself between the sheets.

In ten minutes, I heard the bathroom door open. I looked over the blankets and saw Damon wearing nothing more than a towel around his waist. He kept moving around the room, using his supernatural speed for a few more minutes, and the next thing I knew, he was in bed beside me. My heart started beating like a drum in a hard-rock melody. I felt like the virgin bride on her wedding night. I had butterflies in my stomach, my palms were sweaty, my breath was irregular and my head was spinning.

"I know you're not asleep, Elena. I can hear your heart beat like a scared bunny."

Busted. 'Damn you vampires and your annoying sensitive hearing!' I said to myself. "I can't sleep." I said softly.

"You really should try. It's going to be a long day tomorrow," he said.

I felt his hand on my hand, I closed my eyes tight, trying to fall asleep. When I finally did, his presence followed me into the land of dreams.

***DE***

I opened my eyes and saw his beautiful eyes looking back at me. There was an anguished expression on his face. Something between discomfort and incredulity at the thought of it.

We were both on our sides, facing each other. Neither of us dared to utter a word. Probably afraid we might break the spell.

Oh God, did he know about my dream. Did he know I had been dreaming about him? About him touching me, kissing me, teasing me. My whole body was on fire and I felt an uncomfortable wetness between my legs. Every erogenous spot in my body was pulsating with need. A need so raw, so powerful. A need I had never experienced before.

I felt his finger tips on my face, pushing the hair aside. For a second, I thought I must still be dreaming. I remembered my dream, and felt my cheeks getting red. Slowly, I raised my hand and touched his forehead, then I let my fingers run free through his hair. It felt smooth between my fingers. Damon let out a soft breath. The intensity in his blue-gray eyes scared me and excited me in equal measure. I windrow my hand and so did he. I thought our moment was over so I turned my back to him. Not even a second later, I felt the mattress move. Damon wrapped his arm around me. It felt heavy and cold on my waist, but I found the sensation appealing. Taking a grip of his arm with my hand, I pushed my body into his and I heard a low growl coming from his throat. It sounded so erotic. I couldn't stop the needy moan that came out of my mouth. He buried his face in the back of my neck and blew over my skin. I let go of his hand, and grabbed the sheets, squeezing them hard, to keep myself from screaming.

He stuck his hand underneath my shirt and started exploring my body. His fingers were slow and curious. A taunting combination of ghosting over my skin and applying pressure in all the right places. A dance, a ritual, made to drive me mad with need. When he got to my breasts, my breath stopped. He cupped on of them, giving it a tentative squeeze. The soft globe of skin fit perfectly into his hand. His hand kept moving from one breast to the other as if he was trying to determine which one was bigger. I could've saved him the trouble. It was the left one. Not a big difference but my left boob, along with my left foot were bigger than the right ones. After a few more back and forward, his hand settled over my right mound. His thumb pressed against my nipple. As he applied some more pressure, my fingers clenched tighter around the sheets. I could feel the little numb harden as Damon brushed the tips of his fingers over it. When he twirled it between his thumb and forefinger, I let out a low growl. He let his hand slide back to my waist. Then down on my hips and he positioned my ass between his legs. I moaned once more when I felt how hard he was.

"See what you did to me?" He purred in my ear.

"Oh God," I mumbled softly. Why did he have to sound so damn good? The tone of his voice alone was like a caress.

His hands would not stop moving. On my hips, on my breasts, on my stomach. They were everywhere, marking my body and making it quiver. I felt his fingers slip inside the waist line of my pants and I held my breath. As soon as his fingertips came in contact with my swollen clitoris, I lost all contact with reality. I felt dazed. As if I was in a trance of pure desire. His mouth was applying small kisses on my neck, leaving a tingling, burning sensation behind. Then I felt the tip of his tongue tracing the outline of my ear. "Hmmm," I purred. So many sensations were flying through my body. The thought that I might either faint or turn mad was not far-fetched. My breath was chaotic, my breast felt heavy and my wet gash felt empty and in need. My fingers were holding the sheets so tight that they hurt. Without conscious thought, my hips started moving in the same rhythm as his hand. His fingers were playing a brilliant song on the sensitive bud that was crying for his attention. Growing under his expert touch and pulsating with need. His fingers seemed specially made for that. Not too hard, not too soft. His touch was perfect. When his middle finger slipped inside my damp folds, my eyes rolled in the back of my head. It felt so good. Whatever he was doing to me felt so damn good.

"So…oh, so good," I panted.

Encouraged by my reaction, he added a second finger inside me. Another half growl half moan ripped from my throat. Two fingers curled inside of me, his thumb on my clit, I felt dizzy. His lips were still caressing the sensitive flesh on the back of my neck.

I couldn't hold it anymore. I screamed his name like a prayer as he reached the last cord. My body trembling incontrollable in relief. He kissed the top of my head and wrapped his arms around my body, holding me close to him. I fell asleep in a few secons.


	11. Chapter 11

**N: Hello there kind people. First I wanted to thank everyone for the continued support. Each and every one of your reviews feels like a delicious cupcake.**

 **Now, about last chapter. What happened last chapter happened for two main reasons and several minor ones. Damon just confessed his love to Elena. I don't know when was the last time anyone confessed their love for someone for the first time, but it makes you feel closer to the other person. Damon is not a saint nor made of stone. He responded to Elena because he loves her and lusts for her. Elena went through a shock when Damon left and another one when she saw his compelled confession. She is an overwhelmed teenager. She has been attracted to Damon for a while now, but suppressed her feelings. When he left he put her face to face with her need for him. A need she doesn't yet understand because she still doesn't allow herself to admit how she feels towards Damon.**

 **That being said, hope you are still enjoying the story and will like and review this chapter.**

 **Some Things Cannot be Ignored**

In the morning, we were both acting like nothing out of the ordinary had happened last night. Or at least we were both trying, but every time we were looking at each other we were reliving that moment. And every time we were touching it was, electric. Part of me felt like last night had been a dream. I had trouble believing I behaved the way I did. I might've catalogued last night as a dream if not for the few small red spots on my neck from Damon's fevered kisses or the little scratches where I dug my nails into my pals. Not to mention my entire body was tingling. Just looking at Damon made all the blood in my body rush to the surface. Which I knew it was something he noticed. He let out a low kind of growl each time he caught me looking.

One would think that an orgasm would diminish the desire. One would be wrong. It seemed that whatever Damon did to me last night only made it worse. He managed to awaken a hunger inside me I never would've guessed existed. The sensations had been so intense. Overwhelming at times, yet addictive. He had given me only a taste and I was starving for more. (Hi, my name is Elena and I am a Damon-holic)

I was checking for the second time to see if we forgot something, when he yelled at me. Frustration and impatience noticeable in every word. "Can we go now?" he practically yelled. "If you forget something, I promise you I will buy you a new one," he went on.

I didn't say anything for fear of making it worse. I just took my bag from the bed and followed him outside. In less than five minutes, we were on the road once again. A song that I liked came on the radio and I starched my hand to turn up the volume. I think he wanted to do the same thing, because our hands met on the volume button. He pulled his away so fast it had been a blur.

"Can you just let me control the volume?" he asked, not giving me enough time to answer before he went on. "I'm the one who's driving after all." He said to me.

"What's with you today? Why do you keep yelling at me?" I asked.

The next thing I knew, he pressed the brakes hard enough to make me go back and forward in my seat. He maneuvered the car on the right side of the road. The car came to a full stop and he turned towards me. "Do you really want to know why I have been yelling at you?" He asked, facing me. He grabbed my hand and pressed it between his legs. My eyes opened wide in surprise. He was so full, so hard, I was amazed his pants were still holding him inside. Not too long ago, the gesture would've outraged me. Not this time though. Feeling his hard shaft through his pants made my stomach twist, my skin tingle and my mouth water. The things I wanted to do to him in that moment were things I had never done before. Things I had never thought of doing until now. I wanted to take it in my hand. Stroke it, lick it, taste it, suck it, ride it. The pressure of the chair beneath me suddenly felt sinfully good against my heated core. I was so wet, I had half a thought to look down and see if it was noticeable.

I had no idea what was happening to me. It was as if there had been a locked box of feelings inside of me and it just burst open, letting everything out.

"I've been like this since last night. Since I got in bed beside you and you pushed your tiny body into mine. Since you moved your hips in the rhythm of my hand. Since you screamed my name when you came all over my fingers. I tried. God knows that no matter how hard I tried, I can't get that sound out of my head. It's like a song that's stuck on replay. Every time I look at you, I want you underneath me, naked and wet, ready for me. I want your hands all over my body, touching, feeling, and scratching. I want your warm lips over mine, your tongue in my mouth. Fuck, I want to hear you make those amazing sounds deep in your throat. I want you screaming my name, again and again, as I take you closer and closer towards the edge of your release. I want nothing more than to be inside you. Moving deeper every time you moan."

What the hell was I supposed to say? (Yes please!) What I wanted to say was: 'take me!' I wanted to ask, no, beg. I wanted to beg for him to do just that. Pin me underneath him and make me scream in pleasure.

"Christ, Elena!" he passed his hand through his hair. "The fact that I can smell how turned on you are right now does not help!" he practically yelled.

Ok, it was official, I was going to lose it. I swallowed with difficulty and in a voice that I didn't recognized as mine, I asked him: "And what's stopping you?" I knew I was playing with fire, but I didn't care. Let it burn. Let it burn me until there is nothing left.

"What's stopping me?" he repeated the question. "How about the fact that if I start, I might not be able to stop even if you want me to?" I didn't say anything, I simply stared at him. It was all I could do. He looked every bit the predator he was. His irises were an impossible shade of blue-gray. As if the morning, cloudy sky had frozen. His pupils where misshapen, almost slits. There was an aura of power that even I could feel. Raw and wild. And God help me, exciting.

I realized that my hand was still between his legs and I immediately pulled it back as if it burned. I looked away from him and bit my lip. I would've ran if that would've been an option. But it wasn't. So I just shifted in my sit, positioning myself as far away from him as I could. I had to so I won't tell him to take me and make me his right now, right here in the middle of nowhere, in the back sit of his car.

Damon drove the rest of the way like we were being chased by the devil himself and I didn't have the courage to tell him to slow down. We got in front of the house with the number in the note in an hour and thirty-five minutes. We got out of the car and I knocked on at the door. An old lady opened the door, and smiled at us.

"You poor children, you got lost didn't you? And now you're late. Oh my."

Lost? What was she talking about? Was she expecting us? At this point, given what I knew about the supernatural world, nothing would've surprised me.

"We're looking for Lucy, is she here?" Damon asked.

"Of course not, she's there already. You should get ready if you want to get there in time. It's not polite to be late to a wedding."

I looked at Damon, and he looked at me, both confused.

"Well, you see, we forgot our invitations at home and we don't know the location," Damon said.

"No problem, I'll write it down for you, dear." She wrote something on a piece of paper and gave it to us.

"Thank you, I said," and we got in the car.

Damon looked at me and said: "We're crushing a wedding. We need more appropriate clothes first."

***DE***

We got into a clothing store and Damon picked up a falu red dress and handed it to me. It was a silk, strapless dress, corseted bust, a zip fastening running down the back, classic and beautiful. I put it on, along with a pair of silver heels and got out from the changing room. Damon's eyes popped out and his jaw dropped when he saw me. I smiled weakly, and went in front of a mirror. I had a similar reaction; the dress looked perfect on me.

Three hours later, we were getting out from Damon's car in front of the restaurant where the wedding was taking place. We got inside and every person in the room stopped, turned and looked at us.

"People are staring," I said to Damon.

"Because every single girl in this room wants to kill you and take your place. Even the bride. And, well, you don't look too bad yourself." (Damon, this is Modesty, you two should meet)

I wanted to tell him it was not healthy to compliment yourself, but he was right. I felt all the envious looks on me. The classic look was definitely working for him; he looked like a Greek God. He looked at me with his sparkly blue eyes and I practically melted under his gaze. I was sure we both had a flashback from last night. I caught our reflection in a mirror as we advanced. We looked like the ultimate Hollywood couple.

"If I weren't a big bad vampire, I would've been worried some guy will steal you away from me."

"If that's your way of complimenting me, than thank you."

"Come on Elena, you don't need me to tell you how beautiful you look, you know you would've taken my breath away if I had one."

I didn't know if it was the way he said it or the way he was looking at me, but I was speechless. My body heated up to the point where I was sure I must've emanated heat.

"What are you guys doing here?" Lucy asked surprised.

"Bonnie needs your help. Actually, I need your help." I answered.

"Did Katherine get out?" Lucy asked.

"No, but she will."

"What do you mean she will?"

"That's why we're here. We need your help to take down the shield."

"Why would you want that?" she asked surprised.

"Because my…" what the hell was Stefan to me now? Was he simply my ex-boyfriend? Was he still something more than a friend? Maybe for the time being he should be simply my boyfriend, since anything less might discourage Lucy from helping. "Boyfriend got stuck in there too when he got the moonstone out. Bonnie's not strong enough to do it herself, so she suggested we ask for your help."

"But we had no idea how to get in touch with you and we asked Katherine," Damon continued.

"And she asked for her freedom in exchange for the information. Sounds just like Katherine. Look, she won't dare to come after my family, but I'm sure she will make you pay for putting her in that tomb. I know Katherine, she reacts badly when she doesn't get her way."

"The originals found out about me being alive. I'm sure they're on their way to town and I don't think she'll want to be there."

"Don't underestimate her!"

"It's a risk we're willing to take," I said.

"Ok, I'll go with you and help you, but we have to leave tomorrow. I can't leave from my sister's wedding, she'll kill me."

I smiled, and told her it will not be no problem.

"Well, since you guys are stuck here, might as well enjoy it." She said, and walked us to a table.

"Amazing dress by the way," she said to me.

"Thanks. He chose it," I said looking at Damon.

After a few minutes, Damon got up and said: "Would you give me the honor of this dance, Miss. Gilbert?"

"It will be my pleasure Mr. Salvatore," I said and placed my hand in his outstretched one.

He put a hand on my waist, and led me to the dance floor, he twirled me two times, and then he put his hand on my lower back and pulled me closer to him. I put my hand on his chest, and he covered it with his. My cleavage was pressed against his chest, making my breasts pop out of the dress.

"So, that's why you chose this dress."

"I chose this dress, because it was definitely made for you, and I knew you would look stunning in it. The fact that I can feel every part of your body right now it's just a bonus," he said smiling. Damn he did that so well.

We were moving together so perfectly, like we've already done this a million times before, so close together, it felt like we were one. It felt…perfect. After a few more songs, I gently pulled back from his embrace and got back to the table. I called Bonnie, to fill her in on the situation. A few hours later, Lucy came to our table, holding something tight in her hand.

"Since, I'm keeping you guys here you can stay at my grandma's house. She doesn't have many rooms, so you'll have to share one. Don't worry, there are two beds. Oh, and, my grandma is kind of old fashion, so she needs to think you guys are married," she said and handed us a pair of wedding rings.

"They're made of plastic, and painted gold, but my old girl won't be able to notice the difference."

I took the ring from her hand, and placed it on my finger. Damon did the same with his, and then he took my hand into his.

"Hello wifey," he said and gave me his signature smirk.

My heart almost jumped from my chest and my knees got weak. Boy was I in trouble!


	12. Chapter 12

**N: Sorry for not answering each review personally. This week is been a little crazy and has not left me with much time. So instead of answering all your wonderful reviews individually, I decided to do it here and just get this chapter ready for you.**

 **So, thank you for your words and hope you will enjoy this chapter!**

 **My Side of the Bed**

"This is it," Lucy said, opening the door and we stepped inside the room.

"It's beautiful," I said. It was pretty large and arranged in an old fashion way. It reminded me of my grandma's home, making me feel safe.

"You have your own bathroom. You'll find clean towels in the counter under the sink. If you need anything, my room is downstairs, first one on your left as you go down."

"Thank you for everything Lucy, we really appreciate everything," I said.

"Good night, see you guys in the morning," and with that she was gone, leaving Damon and I alone in the room.

My heart started beating faster with the slamming of the door, letting me know, I was **alone** in a room with Damon. As if I didn't already know that. It was stupid. We have been alone in a room many times before. Somehow though, it felt different this time. Maybe because of what had happened in the last twenty-four hours. Maybe because we were playing the role of husband and wife. Maybe it was just the mindless attraction and pull that had always been between us.

"You don't have to be so scared, Elena. I won't do to you anything that you don't want me to. You should know that by now," he said and smirked at me.

"I'm not scared," I answered. It was the truth, I wasn't scared of his intentions. I was scared of my own. Damon had always had the ability to bring out the most conflicting feelings within me. One moment I wanted to hit him, the next I wanted to console him and the next I wanted to be underneath him, being ravished by him.

"Ok, next time you say that, remember that I'm a vampire and I can hear your heartbeat beat."

"I'll take a shower," That's all I said and disappeared behind the bathroom door.

I got out after two minutes, ashamed, needing his help.

"Do you mind?" I asked, turning my back to him and pulling my hair on a side.

"You want me to undress you?" He asked with amusement in his voice. Games. Yes, Damon and I loved to play games with each other. Push each other to see who would break first. A crazy and dangerous game that could turn against us at any moment. A game that had the potential to either become something amazing or ruin us both. I still had no idea which it would be. And worse, I might not care either way at this point.

"I want you to unzip my dress," I practically purred, even though I didn't mean to.

"Details," he breathed softly.

He came behind me and grabbed the zipper. He pulled it down slowly, no doubt on purpose. Like I said, our own personal game. I felt the cold touch of his fingers from the nape of my neck all the way down my spinal cord. Once he got to the end of the zipper, he traced another invisible line back where he had started. A moan escaped my lips and he took a step back.

"Thanks," I mumbled and got back into the bathroom. (I was a gold medalist at 'running from emotions' category now)

Leaning against the door, I closed my eyes. Boy was I in all sorts of trouble! Deep down, I knew that this time, there might be no way out. I stripped in a hurry and got in the shower letting the water clean away my thoughts. It didn't work though. His image was haunting me, making me remember last night and the kiss we shared. He had the looks of a lover, the hands of a lover, and the passion of a lover. I wondered, not for the first time, how it will be like to surrender to him completely.

I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my body. I passed my fingers through my hair, took a deep breath and got out.

He was sitting in the middle of one of the beds, legs crossed, his shirt unbuttoned, holding a book in his hands. He looked at me and gave me a suggestive smile. My knees went weak.

"Hope you don't mind, I already chose my bed."

"I don't mind."

He closed the book and put it on the bed. He got up and slowly walked towards me. I was a poor hypnotized antelope and he was the powerful lion, coming to collect his prey. Vampire or not, Damon Salvatore had the power to hold someone still with his eyes. He got in front of me, just a few more inches separating us. He stuck his hand in my hair, taking it between his fingers.

"I hope you never cut it," he said in a soft voice.

I couldn't speak, so I didn't answer him. He rubbed his cheek against my own. Such an innocent gesture, yet the effect it had on me was anything **but** innocent. (Like I said: perv)

"You smell so good," he whispered in my ear.

He pressed his lips behind my ear and started kissing his way down my neck, walking his fingers on my back, on my shoulders, on my collar bones. I felt my body heat going to extreme temperatures. I blinked, and he was gone. In a minute I heard the shower running. I took a few steps back and let my body fall hard on a chair, trying to recover from what just happened. After a few more minutes, when I was finally able to move, I got dressed and got in bed. I closed my eyes tight, forcing myself to fall asleep before he got out of the bathroom. I rolled and moved in every possible position. Alas, I was still perfectly awake when the water stopped and the door opened. I refused to open my eyes though, holding the blanket firmly, like it was the only thing keeping me sane. In a few moments, the noises stopped and I started breathing again, wondering if he was listening to my breath. Wondering if he was asleep, if he was thinking about me. I shook my head to remove those thoughts from my mind, but they were more powerful than me, insisting on hunting me.

I could 'feel' Damon's hands on me. I pressed my legs together, not surprised at the fact that I was – once again – wet. I wanted him so much that my whole body was aching. (Sanity lost. Offer reward to anyone who can keep it away from me forever) Sanity was overrated anyway. And being drunk on Damon felt so good.

I looked at the clock, one thirty am and I was still awake. I got up and went by the window looking for the starts up in the sky.

"Can't sleep?" He asked.

"No, you?"

"Your heart is insisting on keeping me awake."

"I'm sorry." What else could I say? I'll stop it, if you want. Let me just run to the bathroom to cut my veins. No biggie.

I turned around and looked at him. His eyes were half closed, his hair was messy. To be honest he kind of looked like a kid. I started walking towards his bed.

"Can I…uhh, do you mind…"

He already knew what I was about to say. He raised the blanket and made place for me in his bed. I climbed next to him and he wrapped his arms around me, making everything ok again.

"Tomorrow it will be Stefan the one holding you like this, close to him," he said, sadness clear in his voice. Shit, Stefan! This whole trip was for Stefan. To get him out of the tomb. Yet here I was, totally forgetting he even existed. (Sanity? Lost. Mind? Lost. Not much left)

"Stefan and I aren't together anymore, Damon," I said, feeling like it was necessary for me to clarify the matter. We decided to stay apart. Yes, it sucked that I was in bed with his brother. Yes, I still had some sort of feelings for him. Yes, everything was a mess. I knew all that, but I felt powerless to stop it. A person cannot always help the way they felt. I had tried. For a long time I had tried to ignore the way I felt about Damon. I was tired. Exhausted.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure Katherine stays away from you two, even if I have to drag her out of town myself."

My body reacted violently at his words.

"You're not planning on leaving after Stefan gets out of the tomb, are you?" I asked, panic in my voice. What. The. Actual. Hell. Did he really not know what his departure would do to me? What him leaving already did to me?

"Your world would be so much better without me in it."

"Maybe that's true, but it wouldn't be my world without you in it," I said honestly. "It might be wrong and selfish of me, but I don't think I can let you go. I tried when you left. Trust me, I did. I just couldn't."

Tears started running down my cheeks. I just wasn't able to hold them back anymore. He pulled himself above me and started kissing my face, licking my tears away. Then he got lower, on my neck. He pulled the straps of my undershirt down and kissed my shoulders, then he kissed my chest, my breasts, my abs. I stuck my hands underneath his shirt, feeling, exploring. He took his hands off my body, just to take his shirt off then he let his body fall against mine, and I gladly accepted his weight. He crushed my mouth with his, his palms on mine, holding them on each side of my head. He kissed every single inch of my upper body. He got to my hips and kissed and licked, while pulling my pants off me. When I felt his wet tongue on my panties my breath stopped. The way he was sucking through the thin material give a whole new meaning to the word 'sensual' in my vocabulary. He took my panties off and raised his mouth back to mine. He stuck his tongue inside my mouth in the same time as he stuck two fingers inside me. The sensation made my body writhe. He was penetrating my mouth and my sex in the same time, making love to both of them. I managed to get my hands on his zipper with difficulty. My body was focused on other things. I opened it and tried to push the pants off him with my legs. I pushed them up to his ankles, and then he shock them off. I realized that he wasn't wearing underwear when his erection poked into my hips. I opened my eyes wide, he smiled at me.

I was about to cross the line, but I didn't care. All I could think about was the pleasure he was giving me and how much I wanted him, needed him. Suddenly something else came to my mind, something that I should've told him long ago.

"Damon, I know," I said softly. "I know what you said to me that night. The night you brought me back my necklace."

He stopped, all at once. He got up and put his pants back on in a blink of an eye.

"How? Since when?" I couldn't tell for sure if he was upset, mad or simply taken by surprise.

"Almost right away." Taken by surprise by his reaction, I got up in sitting position, pulling the covers around my naked, overheated body. "After you left. Bonnie, she made a spell, she made me remember. I knew you compelled me, Damon. You might've taken away the actual memory, but the feelings remained. I wanted, no, needed to know what you said to me so bad you had to take it away. I tried to ignore it. I told myself a thousand times that you must've had your reasons. That it didn't matter because you left. But I couldn't. I am sorry."

I was scared, not because he was mad, because I was afraid he'll run away again.

"Why did you wait until now to tell me?"

"Because…" I stopped for a second, trying to find the right words. "It never seemed like the right time. And I was afraid you'll disappear again," I finished.

"So you decided to play me?"

"Play you? No, Damon. I will never do that to you."

"Then what do you call all that sleeping in my arms, screaming my name at night, kissing me, coming into my bed, provoking me? Why do it at all when we both know you'll go running back into Stefan's arms once he's out of that tomb? What exactly do you call this, Elena?"

Ok, now I was mad too. Surly he didn't actually believe that. "How do you know I'll go back to Stefan, did you ask me? Did anyone just fucking ask me, just once, 'what do **you** want, Elena? What's **your** opinion about this, Elena?' No. Nobody did. Nobody ever does. Everybody just keeps assuming they know me. They keep making decisions on my behalf. They ask if I'm fine, but they don't want an honest answer. When you took off, they were asking me every day if I was fine. My answer had been 'yes' every time. I didn't mean it once. They asked if I missed you. I said 'no', but I didn't mean it once. You compelled me and took off. You broke my heart. I love Stefan, God knows I do, but Damon, when I wake up day after day and you weren't there…" I paused to take in a breath. "I was anything but fine. I missed you every single second you've been gone. I was lost, feeling something as important as air was missing from my life. I needed you back, I can't explain it, because that had never happened to me before. I just needed you in ways I didn't understand. I still don't," I admitted.

Big heavy tears were rolling down my eyes. Too many to stop. Too demanding to keep in any longer. I was crying so hard, my whole body was shaking. (I was probably not the prettiest things to look at either)

"Please don't run away again," I begged. I was not far from dropping on my knees at his feet. I don't think I realized until that very moment how much I feared losing Damon again. "Please don't do that to me again, please!"

I looked at him, the anger was long gone. There was something else in his eyes, surprise, confusion and regret. He took a sit on the bed beside me.

"Elena, you and I," he gestured between us. "Can't happen. I meant what I said that night, I don't deserve you. I also meant when I said I can't be selfish with you. So if you're sure that's what you want, for me to stay, I'll stay."

"Did you mean the 'I love you' part too?"

"You know I did, but that doesn't change anything."

"How can you say that?"

"I still don't deserve you."

Not that shit again. "Would you stop, just **stop** saying that! I'm not the saint you and Stefan make me out to be. I'm far from being perfect. People need to stop putting me up on a freaking pedestal. I cannot, **will** not leave up to those expectations. It's too much. Do you understand?" I asked, not expecting an answer. "So, stop saying that you don't deserve me," I went on.

He didn't say anything.

"Listen to me Damon," I waited for a few seconds to make sure I had his full attention. "You deserve everything you want, because you're a good man that got lost. That was lost. Did you make mistakes? Yes. But so what? Everyone makes mistakes, Damon. No one is perfect."

Instead of answering me, he turned off the lamp beside him and got in bed.

"I cannot go through this again," he murmured. Just when I was about to ask him what he meant, he continued. "I did it once, with Katherine. I cannot do it again. It'll have to be all or nothing, Elena."

"I know," I breathed.

"You should sleep, tomorrow is a big day. We have a long drive ahead of us and a stubborn hero to rescue."

I turned my back on him, the tears pouring from eyes like rivers. They were so hot, burning my sensitive skin. In an instant, I felt his arms around my waist. Enveloping me, holding me close to him.

"Please stop crying and get some sleep. I promise you I'm not going anywhere for now. I'll still be here when you wake up."

His voice was nothing more than a whisper, but my body stopped shaking.


	13. Chapter 13

**N: Hello and 1000 thanks for your reviews on the last chapter (again I ran out of time to answer each of you individually. I will manage next week, promise). This is going to be a Stefan and Katherine chapter, because we all need a little break from the intensity of DE. Loved writing these two – especially Katherine – but don't worry, our favorite couple will return in the next one. Hope you'll enjoy this!**

 **Unvanquished Feelings**

THE TOMB

"Elena and Damon going on a road trip, imagine what could happen. You may not like to hear this, but your brother as his talents," Katherine said. A malicious green painted on her flawless face. Stefan only dared look in Katherine's direction for a few seconds, but it had been enough to notice the spark in her eyes. He knew that spark way too well. Couldn't mean anything good.

Stefan rolled his eyes. "It's not working Katherine, I trust Elena completely," he lied. It wasn't even that he didn't trust her really. It was more like, he didn't trust her feelings. Feelings were rarely to be trusted. Powerful feelings could give meaning and reason to all sorts of things that had none. Plus, he and Elena were not on the best of terms. Even with Katherine out of the picture, Elena had decided not to get back together. Not that he could blame her after everything she's been through, but… it gave him a feeling of foreboding.

Katherine scoffed. "Then you're blind. **Completely**. If I got this right," she bit her lower lip. "You and your precious Elena are on a break. I take full credit for that by the way. So, that means she's free to do whatever she wants. With whomever she wants," she finished smiling. He knew it was just a matter of time before Katherine mentioned the state of his relationship with Elena. He thought it would be a bit later though. But then again, patience had never been Katherine's strongest asset.

"That's between Elena and me," he said, but somewhere in the back of his mind, Stefan had to admit she was right. Theoretically, they were not together at the moment. So, yes, Elena was **free** to do as she pleased. But from what he knew about Elena, the possibility of her moving on, to his brother none the less, was slim. He knew she wouldn't do that. Yes, there was something between her and his brother. There had been for a while. She never acted on it before. Why now? _Why not now?_ Another voice came into his mind. A voice that sounded a lot like Katherine's. Damnit he was starting to let her inside his head.

"Wrong," Katherine said loudly, pulling Stefan back from his little depiction of his relationship with Elena. "A relationship is never just between two people, Stefan. Especially not yours. You're still as naïve as you were a hundred and forty-five years ago if you believe otherwise. As long as Damon's around, your relationship with Elena is never going to be just between the two of you."

"Why are you so desperate to prove to me that something's going on between my brother and Elena?"

"Because I am," she shrugged. "I care about you, Stefan, whatever you believe it or not. I want you to see it before it's too late. Before you get your heart broken."

"Stop pretending, Katherine. You don't care about anyone but yourself."

"I will always put myself first, yes. But I do care about you, I always did," she said and walked in front of him. She touched his face with the tips of her fingers. He caught her hand and pushed it away. She was faster. She caught both his hands and placed them around her waist, wrapping her own arms around his neck. Stefan pushed her away again taking a step back.

"What's the matter Stefan? Afraid that if you stop fighting it, just for a minute, you'll like it? Afraid you'll realize you love me and you loved me all these years just like I do? I'm just like human blood to you, aren't I? You crave it but you're scared that if you give in you might never give it up," she smiled once more. Her eyes sparkling as if she figured out the answer to a question that's been bugging her for a long time. "I'm sure it will come a day when you'll stop fighting it and when that day comes, I'll be right there. Waiting for you. I will always wait for you. I hope you know that. No matter how long it takes, I will wait."

He looked at her, believing her, just for a second. But then he remembered all the lies and the cheating. All her manipulations and all the shit she pulled over the years. She was good. Oh, she was very good. She had had decades, centuries to perfect her technique, of course she was good.

"Are you really going to keep your promise and not hurt anyone once you get out?" He asked.

"I never said I won't hurt anyone, I said I won't kill anyone. I'm very particular about my words, Stefan."

"Of course you are. And are you going to keep that promise, about not killing anyone?"

"I'm not particularly loyal or faithful, but I'm a woman of my word. I really do what I say I will, no matter what it takes."

"That I believe," he said quickly. The 'no matter what it takes' part was what got to him. Katherine Pierce, the girl with the most acute sense of self-preservation he had ever encountered.

"You say it like it's a bad thing."

"Cheating, lying, killing and using others just to get your way **is** a bad thing."

"It's called ambition."

"It's called being selfish."

"It's self-preservation."

"It's egoism."

"Ok, Stefan, let's play it your way, let's see what is it that you would've done in my place," she crossed her hands in front of her chest. If he didn't know any better, Stefan would've thought she might feel vulnerable. But he knew better. He had fallen for it many decades ago. When he was only a young man, full of idealistic ideas about love, loyalty and courage. He was definitely not that boy anymore. "So, the most powerful vampires in the world are after you, to kill you and drain every drop of blood from your body. No one wants to help you, advise you or protect you. You're scared as hell, because you don't want to die. Because you're just a seventeen year old girl, that just gave up her new born girl without even seeing her face. Because you think that you've never done something that bad to deserve what's happening to you. You're looking for solutions, but you're out of time, out of options. So you decide to do the only thing you can think of to protect yourself. You become one of them, thinking that maybe then you'll have at least a ten per cent chance of getting away. After many plans that fail, you finally become one of them. You decide that your only chance to survive is to get far far away from there. Before going away forever, you go home, to see if you're family's ok. To say goodbye to the people that gave you life. To the people that meant the world to you. But when you get home, they are all dead. Every, single, one of them. Even the animals had been slaughtered. Now I'm asking you, Stefan, what would you have done in my place?"

Stefan was watching her. She told the story without blinking. Without any emotions in her eyes. But Stefan got the emotions in her voice. The fact that Katherine was showing any kind of emotion threw him off for a moment. He had no idea what to say. What to do.

"Stop looking at me like that, please. I don't want your pity, Stefan. Hate me, curse me, ignore me if you want. Just don't feel sorry for me!"

Of course, Katherine Pierce would hate pity more than anything. Having someone feel sorry for her put her face to face with everything she's been through. All the things that would awake such an emotion in others. "You had plenty of time to change your ways Katherine. Not every person in the world is to blame for what happened to you."

"Oh, no, not that speech again," she threw her hands in the air in exasperation. "Not another 'how to be a good vampire' lesson according to Stefan Salvatore. When are you going to get it, Stefan, we're not supposed to be good? Trust me, I have more experience with this than you."

"We are not supposed to exist," he said sadly.

"True, but we do. You can't change that."

"No, I can't. You made the decision by yourself, but I didn't. You made it for me. Why did you do it Katherine, why did you turn Damon and me?"

"Well, I turned Damon because he wanted it. I turned you because," she took a moment before continuing. "Because, **I** wanted to."

"It sounds simple. With you it's never that simple. Every move you make, every word you say, everything you do has a specific purpose. So what was it? What was in it for you?"

"That's for me to know and for you to find out."

"Since you are trying to be honest. I have a question," she made a gesture with her head at him to go on. "If you say you loved me, why were you with Damon too? Why string him along? Why do that to him, to me, to us?"

Katherine took a few moments before answering. "I am afraid I don't have an answer that would satisfy you."

"I don't care about that. I just want the truth."

"The simple answer is that he was good in bed." Stefan didn't say anything. "You were so young, so innocent. I wanted to take it slow with you. Damon already knew what he was doing. I had debated braking it off with Damon many times. The night you escorted me back from the ball, he was waiting for me in my room, but I sent him away. I couldn't do anything with Damon because…" she hesitated. "Because you had touched a part of me I had thought long gone. You gave me hope that night," she finished.

Stefan was watching her attentively. He was remembering that night many decades ago. He remembered dancing with her, talking to her, holding her hand. He felt like the luckiest guy in the world to be at her side. Every man in town had wanted to court her and she had chosen him. He could feel them, throwing him envious looks. Including his brother. He remembered it like it had been yesterday. He had felt bad for his brother. He knew he was hurting him, but what he felt for her had been stronger. He had wanted her so much, nothing else mattered as much.

"You're going to have to stop hurting Elena," he said after a few minutes of silence. He felt like he needed to shift the attention from Katherine.

"Hurting her was never part of my plan. I just wanted to get her away from you."

"Did you stop for a minute and think about what you were doing? Hurting Elena was hurting me. Why would you want to do that if you love me, like you say?"

"Look, I said I love you not that I'm perfect. People love in different ways. I know my way it's not the best way. I know that me turning you was selfish and saving you in Berlin fifty-two years ago was selfish. Coming back to this town was selfish. I'm a selfish person and I love in a selfish way, but_"

"What did you just say?" He asked, cutting her words.

"I saved you in Berlin fifty-two years ago. I'm assuming that's the part you're referring to, even if it's not the last thing I said."

"Yeah, that's the part. That was you? God, I was so drunk. They were so many; they wanted to kill me for feeding in their town. Why didn't you stay or say something?" He asked. His stare vacant as he was remembering his nightmarish encounter on German territory.

"I was supposed to be dead, Stefan, remember?"

"I can't believe you did that. Why would you risk…why would you do that?"

"I guess I'm not as selfish as you thought," she got in front of him again, looking into his eyes. "I'm a woman that likes to always be in control. That likes to get her way and fights for what she wants. However, I still have my weaknesses, Stefan. And you," she pointed at him, getting yet, a little bit closer. " **You** are one of them." She took one more step towards him. Now their faces were only inches apart. She was so close that even though they weren't touching, Stefan could still feel her. "The night when you brought me home from the ball," she started once more and Stefan shook his head slightly. That damned night again! "We were at the end of the stairs, in front of my room. Remember what you said to me?"

"I told you that I'm falling for you," he answered in a soft whisper. "And I told you you're like an angel," he finished. His eyes travelling all over her face. Trying to find a trace of the girl he remembered. The girl he thought her to be back then. To his surprise, he found it.

"Yes, you did. You made my stoned heart melt when you said that. Hmm, and then you kissed me. For the first time. And for the first time in my life and afterlife, a kiss made my body shiver and my head spin," she was now close enough that her lips were touching his chin each time she spoke.

She stood up on her toes and kissed him, gently. Her lips barley touching his, the ghost of a kiss. Then she pulled back and looked at him, like he was something precious. He didn't remember ever seeing that look on Katherine's face before. There was a certain beauty that he had thought only existed in his imagination.

"In that moment I wanted to be the angel you were seeing in me," she whispered. The tone of her voice, combined with the look in her eyes, just broke something inside him. Something he had kept hidden deep inside for so long, he thought it vanquished.

He stuck his fingers in her hair, and pulled her towards him. He kissed her deep and slow, than he kissed her rough and hungry. He kissed her for all the pain she had caused him. For all the memories that were hunting him still. He kissed her for everything she was and for everything she wasn't. He kissed the demon and the angel inside. He kissed the girl that despite logic and reason never left his heart.


	14. Chapter 14

**N: Hello there, don't worry, we are back with our favorite couple. Hope you enjoy!**

 **Don't forget to drop me a few words with a review, it means a lot.**

 **Back to Reality**

I was listening to the sound of the shower, a million things running through my mind and I was trying to convince myself, that the thought of Damon, naked in the shower was not one of them. God, when did things get so messed up? Damon's abrupt departure seemed to have turned everything upside down. Turned me upside down. I felt so confused, so overwhelmed. For a while now I had admitted to myself that I have always felt a pull towards Damon. He was after all a very attractive man, with plenty of bad boy charm to make any girl's heart flutter. What I didn't realize, was how deep and great this pull between us was. Ughh, I was getting a headache, just from thinking about it. What I needed was to clear my head. For some reason that I didn't understand, he was mad at me for not telling him sooner that I knew about the compulsion. I mean, I was the one that should've been mad at him for compelling me in the first place. Right?

Another delightful question that was running through my mind was if I had cheated on Stefan with Damon. Technically, Stefan and I were on a break, so it shouldn't count as cheating. Not in the literal sense anyway. In a moral sense the answer was 'yes'. Should I regret it? Because I definitely wasn't. Yes, I admitted to myself that I went about it the wrong way. I felt guilty. I especially felt guilty for admitting to myself that Stefan had never made me feel the way Damon did. Stefan's touches and kisses, no matter how passionate or how intimate, they never had the effect Damon's touches had. My body was still vibrating with that animalistic need. In the places he had touched me, there was still a ghost of that tingling sensation. My hands restless in their need to feel him. Feel his smooth, cold skin, his toned muscles flex beneath my palms. I was… I was in a constant state of arousal. So yes, I felt guilty. But I didn't regret a single touch or a single kiss between Damon and me.

The soothing, familiar sound of the running water stopped, so I dragged myself out of the bed. I picked up some clothes and took a sit on a chair, waiting for Damon to get out from the bathroom. When he finally got out, he was completely naked. No underwear, no robe, no towel. I jumped up from the chair, my clothes fell from my lap, but I didn't even notice. I was too preoccupied staring at the perfection that was Damon Salvatore. Damn! He looked too good for words. (Hello Damnation, take me now!) The image of me drooling, with my eyes ready to pop out of my sockets, might've given people an idea. Might've giving him an idea of what was running through my head too.

"I…I…are you…hm…done?" I asked, putting the words together with **much** difficulty. The now rather familiar hot, tingling sensation spread all through my body. A needy, shaky moan was just on the tip of my tongue. It was taking a lot of self-control from my part not to let it out.

"Yes" he passed his hand through his slightly wet, jet black hair. Jesus help me! "The towels from last night are still wet. There was only one dry towel left, I saved it for you." he finished. The fact that he was naked didn't seem to bother him at all.

I wanted to run in the bathroom, lock the door and swallow the key, so I could stay away from him. That, or run to him. Run into his arms and ask him, no, beg him to put out the fire he ignited within me. The first option was out, because he was standing in the doorway, blocking my way towards the bathroom. (So second option full speed ahead I say!)

A drop of water left his neck and started its journey down south, on his well-defined pecks. Down his abs, his bellybutton. My breath accelerating as I was following the small drop, envying the way it was shamelessly gliding all over his perfect body. I imagined myself bending over and catch it with my tongue, ending its arrogant life. Then I'll catch the others as well. All of them, until he'll be all mine, only mine. (Possessive much? I had no idea until now)

"If you don't stop looking at me like that, I swear I'll have you naked against the wall behind you in less than thirty seconds," he said with a warning in his eyes, but it was too late. I already wanted to be held between him and the wall. I wanted to feel his talented hands all over me. Feel his domineering mouth on my own, taking ownership of mine. I bit my bottom lip in anticipation.

Up until giving into the forbidden that was Damon Salvatore, I never thought I might like being dominated. Mind you, I never actually given that much thought to the love-making process to be honest. Not until I met Damon. It was as if, meeting him unlocked a very different side of me. A naughty, fiery side. A side that filled my mind with wicked thoughts I couldn't seem to get rid of. More and more I found myself thinking of how good it must feel to be dominated by him, possessed by him, marked by him. I was sure he was the type of lover that could give as much, if not more than he took.

I took a few steps forward and stopped in front of him. Without conscious thought, I raised my hands, placing them on his chest. I started moving my hands in slow motion. Up on his neck and shoulders, delighted at the hardness of the muscles on his back. Lower, on his chest and ribs. I felt like a sugar addict in front of a giant candy cane. His skin felt amazing. Toned, smooth, slightly cold and my fingers were humming with delight. A low purr vibrated in my throat but I refused to open my mouth to set it free. Biting my lip, I gathered the courage to look up. His eyes were a whole new form of visual molestation. Blue? No. Green? Not green either. They seemed to hold into their irises a multitude of colors. From the brightest green, to the iciest blue and everything in between. A gray-turquoise. Beautiful. Incredibly and undeniably beautiful. And deep inside their mystique, they held the essence of the man and the vampire. The animalistic lust and the undeniably human confusion and hesitation. Two sides of the same man at a constant war with one another.

"Elena…" he mumbled.

In a second he was pressing me against the wall, true to his promise. (Yes please!) He started by kissing my neck and rubbing his hands all over my body in an almost aggressive way. The palms of his hands pressed into my back, pulling me closer to him. He was a starving man and I was his favorite dish. I thought his lips will travel lower. I was wrong. He went up, on my jaw. When he got to my ear and I felt the tip of his tongue tracing the outline, I let out a deep, guttural moan. He sighted in response. His warm breath sending chills down my spine.

Just as sudden as he had started, he stopped. He stuck both of his hands in my hair, looking into my eyes. There was pain reading all over his face and it made my heart ache. I would've said anything, done anything to make it go away.

"Elena, we can't. I can't do this," he whispered. His voice so soft, the ghost of a thought. It reminded me of the words he spoke before compelling them away. 'I wish you didn't have to forget this' he had said.

"Damon, I want you!" I said determined and I felt his body tense. I did want him. So bad that I thought that if he won't be with me now, I would simply go insane. He must've known that right? I thought that after all that transpired between us over the bumpy road of our friendship, he must've always known, in a way. He has a vampire after all. Maybe I didn't say much or did much to make it clear, but he must've been able to tell.

"I… look, If you'll still want me after Stefan gets out of that tomb, as much as you do now. Nothing, I promise you, **nothing** would make me happier than to make you mine," he said and let me go. My body immediately mourned the loss of him. He went by his bed and started dressing. I picked up my clothes from the floor, ran into the bathroom and locked the door, leaning against it, shaking. My desire was easily altering into anger. I basically begged for him to sleep with me. And he said no. but hell, a different side of me knew he had every right to say no.

Once I stopped shaking, I stood up and got in the shower. The cold water was slowly calming my burning skin. After I was done, I wrapped the only towel left around my body and took a sit on the stool in the corner of the small room. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. What was I doing?! I was becoming Katherine. A month ago I was happy with Stefan and now…now I was falling for Damon. God, I was FALLING for him! Why? When? How did that happen? That was not possible, it couldn't be, I had to stop, and whatever was going on had to stop. He had been right to say no. This was a crazy, stupid situation. He was everywhere I was, always trying to protect me. In the end, of one thing I was a hundred per cent sure, I needed Damon in my life. The few days he'd been gone proved that. Without him I had been…incomplete. However, I was still confused. Overwhelmed by feelings I had suppressed for so long and yet when the cage I locked them in broke, they all came out at once. He deserved better. I knew that. I owed him that.

"Are you ok in there?" Damon asked, interrupting me thoughts. "Lucy's waiting for us downstairs, should I tell her we'll be late?" he asked.

"No, I'll be out in a minute" I answered.

I got dressed as quickly as I could, got out and looked around for the last time. I took my suitcase and headed towards the door. Once I got in the hallway he tried to take the suitcase from my hand.

"I can do it, it's not heavy" I said.

"Fine" he said and descended down the stairs. I cursed his big, fat ego and followed him.

Lucy was waiting for us in the living room, holding her grandma's hand in hers.

"I hope everything was ok," her grandma said smiling at us.

"Very, thank you, everything was perfect" Damon said, smiling back and taking my hand in his "Shall we, darling? We have a long way to go," the double meaning of his last phrase did not pass unnoticed.

"Such a lovely couple," the elder woman said and I bit my lip. (yeah, I know)

"I made sandwiches and coffee for the road," Lucy said once we got to the car.

"I'll take one of those" I said taking a thermos from Lucy's hands.

In ten minutes, we were finally in the car and on the road. Damon turned on the radio and opened a window.

"Can you please change the channel, I don't want to hear the news?" I asked.

"Don't you want to know what's happening around the world?" he asked back.

"No," I answered simply.

"Fine, I'll change it."

"Do you mind? I'm cold," I said, looking at the opened window.

"Put a blanket on!" he said.

"I don't want a blanket; I want you to close the window!" I shouted.

"Lucy, are you cold back there?" he asked.

"No, I'm good," she answered.

"See, you're the only one who's cold. You should put on real clothes next time. I can practically see your skin through that t-shirt of yours."

"Are you sure you two aren't actually married?" Lucy asked with a giggle.

Neither one of us answered, we looked at each other for a minute then he closed the window.

"Thanks" I mumbled and that was it.


	15. Chapter 15

**N: Hello and thank you for those who reviewed and continue to do so (and especially to those I cannot answer personally).**

 **Enjoy this new chapter!**

 **Welcome Home**

By the time we got to Mystic Falls, it was already nightfall. I wasn't sure what time it was exactly. Last time I checked, it was at the gas station. The clock on my phone said it was nine thirty pm. About two hours ago. It didn't really matter what time it was anyway. I was exhausted. Both physically and mentally. Every other five minutes, my eyes would drift to Damon, as if they were magnetically attracted in his direction. That was not the unsettling part. The unsettling part was my reaction to him. My heart would start beating twice the speed, my palms would start seating and my pulse would make itself known in all the wrong places. Like my joints, my breasts and God help me, between my legs.

We had just passed the 'Welcome to Mystic Falls' sign when Damon spoke: "it's pretty late," he started. "Everyone, including Blondie who texted me three hours ago, must be asleep. I say_"

"You talked to Caroline?" I asked interrupting him. I have been talking to Caroline too, up until my phone ran out of battery. The only bad thing about Damon's classic car: no way to charge one's phone.

"She asked when we will be arriving home. I said 'a few hours' I will leave it up to you whatever or not that constitutes as a conversation."

"That's all she said?"

"Uh, she send me a few other messages after. I chose to ignore them." I didn't say anything so he went on. "As I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted," he gave me an annoyed glance. I chose to ignore it just as he ignored my friend's text messages. "I think we should go to the Boarding House and get some rest. We will regroup in the morning, after a good night sleep. Stefan's been in the tomb for days, I am sure a few extra hours won't kill him."

"Cool with me," Lucy said from the back and I jumped. I had totally forgotten she was there. She had been quiet the whole time.

Even though Damon didn't say anything else, I could tell he was waiting for an answer from me. The problem was I had no idea what to say. The rational thing to do would be to ask him to drop me off at home. However, the thought of being so far away from Damon after we had spent every minute for the past few days together seemed weird.

"Do you want me to drop you off at home?" he asked as we passed Palm Street. "Jeremy might be asleep. So if you don't want to wake him you are more than welcome to join us," he went on.

There was something fundamentally wrong with the tone of his voice. For a minute I felt as if he and Lucy were a couple and I was intruding. I felt like a third wheal and I hated it.

"Boarding House is fine," I mumbled. What was his problem anyway? Ever since we left Lucy's house he has been grumpy and moody. He hasn't been exactly mean. But he made it clear with every opportunity that he would've liked to be anywhere but there. And with anyone but me. Something was bothering him. If I knew Damon, and I did, this was not going to end well. That was his way of dealing with things. He got upset, kept it in for a while, pretended not to care and then he exploded. And usually when the explosion happen, bad things happened. People got hurt. He got hurt.

The ride through the city remained painfully silent.

Once inside the Boarding House, Damon closed the door behind us and walked ahead. "There are no bedrooms on the ground floor," he said and made his way up the stairs. Lucy and I followed him close by. He stopped once he reached the top. "The second room to the right," he started and pointed towards the door in question. "Is Stefan's," he continued as if I didn't know. "The last one on the far left is mine."

He turned to face us, as he talked however, his eyes remained on Lucy. Yes, I was not imagining it. Damon was avoiding my eyes. Just as he had been avoiding looking at me the whole trip back.

Damon went on, and I had to shake my head to concentrate on what he was saying. My mind seemed ready to wonder at all times lately. (Elena the Wonderer Gilbert) I had the concentration of a toddler. Nothing could keep my attention for too long. Well, that wasn't true. There was something (someone) able to hold my attention, but I had been denied that certain something (someone).

"I suggest one of the rooms on each side of Stefan's. It will be warmer. My brother likes to heat his room. There is a joined bathroom, but since he is not here, it shouldn't be a problem."

The witch nodded. "Thanks," she said and picked up her suitcase.

"If you are hungry, there is usually food in the kitchen downstairs. Feel free to help yourself. Just make sure to verify the expiry dates. I haven't been here in a while so I have no idea how fresh things are," he suggested.

Lucy smiled. "I will. I am probably just going to change and crash. I am tired from the road. Might hold you on for breakfast though. I eat in the morning," Damon simply nodded. "Good night guys," she said and with that she disappeared behind the door on the left of Stefan's.

Silence fell around us like a bad speech at a wedding. I didn't move. Honestly, I had no idea where to go. Again, like the little addict that I have become, my first instinct would've been to simply follow Damon to his room. Considering the circumstances and his obvious feelings of resentment towards me, it didn't seem like a great idea. I looked towards him, trying to catch his eyes. Knowing that a simple look into the depth of his blue-grays will give me the answers I was looking for. But he was once again looking away. Avoiding my eyes.

The idea of taking Stefan's room didn't seem much more appealing either. Somehow it didn't feel like I had any business being there either. Not anymore. I was waiting for Damon to say something. Anything. When he finally did, my heart sank.

"Good night," he said. Without another word, he turned around and walked towards his own room.

I had no idea how long I stood there, looking after him. Could've been seconds, could've been hours. When I finally moved, I made my way towards the room next to Stefan's. On the right.

I had never been in there before. It was smaller than Stefan's. Maybe half the size. Thankfully it had its own bathroom. It wasn't much bigger than a closed, but it'll have to do. There was no bathtub, only a shower cabin. So much for my plan to take a long bubble bath. I had half a thought to change rooms, to look for one with a freaking bathtub, but I changed my mind as soon as I reached my suitcase. Which I had left at the foot of the bed when I got in. So instead of picking it up, I opened it. I took out my shower gel, lotion, toothpaste and brush, and walked into the small bathroom. I placed the items by the edge of the sink and returned for my shampoo and conditioner.

Just as I was about to take off my clothes, I realized there were no towels besides a minuscule one by the sink. Letting out a deep sigh, I got out of the room and went into Stefan's. I simply went there because I knew exactly where to find towels. I picked up three fluffy ones and got out. As I closed the door behind me I saw Damon come out of his own room.

"I am not sleeping in Stefan's room," I said quickly. I felt like I had been caught into one of those 'it's not what it looks like' situations. The kind where you feel you have to explain yourself.

Damon shrugged. "You may do as you please, Elena," he said. I hated the way he used my name to hurt me. I hated the fact that it hurt me in the first place. It was a ridiculous notion to be hurt by the simple uttering of your name, but here I was. I shouldn't have been surprised though. That was us. We did that to each other on a regular bases. We used the other's name to say the things we couldn't. Things we shouldn't say. Things we didn't know how to say otherwise. Damon could say a million things just by saying my name, and I could have a hundred conversations just by saying his.

"I just needed some towels. There weren't any in my room," I went on. Why the hell was I still explain this? It was clear that Damon didn't care.

"Okay," he said.

I stood there for a few more seconds. A part of me hoping he might say something else. I didn't really know what I wanted him to say, but he didn't. Once it became crystal clear that he wasn't going to say anything, I walked back into my room for the night.

The moment I stepped under the running water, I started crying. If someone would've asked me why I was crying, I wouldn't have been able to answer. Once the tears stopped pouring, I washed myself without paying any attention to what I was doing.

Only when I started putting on lotion, I noticed the golden band that was still on my finger. With everything going on, I had forgotten to take it off when we left. I wondered briefly if Damon might still be wearing his. The image of us dancing at the wedding popped into my head. My hand in his. Both wearing these cheap, plastic, golden bands. It shouldn't have meant anything, yet somehow it did. I took off the ring carefully, fondling it nostalgically with my thumb. I walked into the room and placed it in one of the pockets of my handbag.

My body started trembling softly as soon as I got into bed. The sheets were cold and unwelcoming. I pulled the covers up to my chin and closed my eyes. I had no idea when or if I fell asleep that night.

***DE***

I turned in bed and picked up my phone from the nightstand. It was only ten past five am. It felt like I had only been asleep for ten minutes after not sleeping for days. My whole body felt heavy and sore. My muscles were throbbing and I could feel a terrible headache coming due to the lack of sleep. Knowing from experience that there was no chance of falling asleep at this time, I slipped out of bed. Immediately my body started shivering from the cold. My shorts and t-shirt were definitely not enough to shield me from the frosty air in the room. I put on a sweater, but was too lazy and exhausted to look for pants. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I put on some mascara and got out of the room. Without even taking a look in the direction of Damon's room, I made my way towards the kitchen. Known fondly as the place that had coffee. (I am sixty per cent coffee in case anyone is wondering)

To my surprise, Damon was already there. He turned around as soon as I got inside. He looked about as bad as I felt. He had a tea spoon in one hand and a carton of either cream or milk in the other. He was making coffee. I didn't even know he drank coffee. Never saw him do it. During our trip, he had occasionally brought me coffee, but I didn't recall seeing him have some.

"Coffee?" he asked.

I blinked a few times, trying to put together the words to understand their meaning. Boy, I felt like crap. It was as if I was hangover. "Please," I answered as soon as I realized what he was asking.

A few minutes (or seconds) later, he handed me a big, steaming cup. I took it and mumbled a 'thank you' making my way into the living room. Once there, I placed the cup on the edge of the table and kneeled in front of the fire place. I hesitated, as I had no idea how to start a fire.

"I will do that." Damon said from behind me. I looked around just in time to see him hanker down next to me. There he was again: Damon Salvatore to the rescue!

I nodded. Without a word, I got up (with difficulty) and grabbed my cup. I took a seat in the arm chair closer to the fire place and tucked my feet under me. The smell of coffee made my mouth water so I took a large sip. The liquid burned my tongue slightly, but I didn't care. Coffee was worth the pain.

I kept sipping from my coffee in silence, choosing not to ask Damon how he knew the exact way I liked my coffee. I had actually meant to ask the question many times, a part of me always hesitated though, it just never seemed like the right time.

"This is ridiculous!" I shouted after about fifteen minutes of holding my tongue. For fifteen minutes I had been staring at the man in front of me. And for fifteen minutes he had managed to stare only at the flames, slowly building in the fire place. "If you're mad at me just say something. This silent treatment won't get us anywhere. And I am honestly sick of it."

"Maybe I just have nothing to say."

"That will be a first," I objected. Everyone knew that Damon Salvatore always had something to say.

He passed a hand through his hair. Just then I realized it was slightly wet. It looked even blacker than usual, and his hair was already black as a raven's feathers. He must've showered in the morning. That meant he had probably been awake for a while. Was it possible that he had been unable to sleep just like me? The thought gave me comfort. I was a horrible person. I had always known I wasn't as great and good as people seemed to think I was, but this. Yes, I hit a whole new low. (First class ticket to hell please!)

"What do you want from me, Elena?" He asked. His voice sounded tired, defeated. He sounded like he was giving up.

"I want you to tell me what's wrong!" I pushed. Pushing one another was also part of our little special game. The Delena special: an equal desire to be close to the other and push the other away. It also came with frustrating back and forward, heartache and a stubborn need to not give up on each other.

Damon snorted, then he full on laughed. It was an obviously fake laugh.

"I am glad you can find humor in this," I said sadly. I meant to go on and tell him how inappropriate his laughter was, but his words stopped me.

"This?" he asked pointing between us. "This is so fucked up! It's a fuck up of such proportions that I don't think even the greatest minds from the past century could fix it. And I should know, I met some of them." There was no amusement in his voice any more. No trace of a smile. I didn't know if this fact should make me happy or sad.

"We can fix it," I said softly. We had to fix it.

"Don't be naïve, Elena. God, sometimes I forget you are only seventeen years old."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He went on as if he didn't hear me. "You lost your parents so young. Had to be strong for your brother, your aunt, yourself. You have been through so much. Endured so many bad things that came your way. More than most people have to deal with in their entire lives. So most of the time, you act way beyond your age. It's easy for me to forget how little living you actually got to do. How little you know about the world, about people, about yourself. You had to spend most of your time worrying about others. No wonder you have no idea who you really are, what you really want. I am sorry if I expect so much of you sometimes."

I opened my mouth to say something, but words eluded me. I guess he had a point. My life had turned into a continue roller-coaster. There had been no time for me to think about my life. To find myself. I knew who I was before my parents died, but after… I knew I wasn't her anymore. I had been through too much to be her. She had been full of life and joy. No care in the world, just teenage drama. She was careless and occasionally selfish. Didn't appreciate the people in her life the way I did now. I found out the hard way how easy it was to lose the people you love. How little it took for the rug to be pulled from underneath you.

I threw myself in my relationship with Stefan thinking that it will help me regain the Elena that I had lost. The old Elena. The one that was careless and happy. I thought Stefan will be the one to help me find my way back to her. I had been wrong. It hadn't been Stefan's fault. It hadn't even been my fault. It was just impossible, because that girl didn't exist anymore. I couldn't go back. And I didn't really want to go back. Yes, old Elena had been happy. But she had also been silly, selfish and naïve.

"Elena," Damon's voice caught my attention once more. "You have to understand that some situations are too sticky to fix without ripping them apart first."

"I still don't really know what you are talking about Damon. Please stop talking in riddles and tell me what's wrong between us!"

"Between us?" he almost shouted. "Christ, Elena, that's what I am trying to tell you. This is not between us. It was never just between us. There is a third person in all this, currently stuck in a tomb because he tried to do the right thing by you. A person you still have feelings for. Or am I mistaken?" he asked. I couldn't trust myself to speak. Not after his brutal speech. I nodded subtly. Not sure if I nodded to let him know I understood what he was saying, or to answer his question concerning my feelings for Stefan.

He waited a few more seconds before continuing. "I love you Elena. I am in love with you. I tried to keep that information to myself. Keep it away from you. I knew how much of a burden it will be for you. This has been my problem from the start. Mine and mine alone, Elena, not yours. However, despite my efforts, you found out. Now you know. No more speculations, no more gossip, no more wondering. I love you. It's wrong. It's stupid and selfish and cannot possible end well for me. It never ends well for me," there was now a sadness in is voice that was making my whole being ache. I wanted the amused Damon back. But he was long gone, lost in his own pain. "And I had tried, Elena. Trust me, I really did try not to love you, but I couldn't, I can't," he let out a heartbreaking sigh. "For the longest time, I had told myself that it was pointless. That there was no way in hell. And in those moments I pulled away, or at least tried. But then you would give me hope. Not much, but enough for me to stay. Enough to keep trying. I was ready to give up for good, Elena. To finally admit that I had lost and move on. I fucking left town! But then I came back and you were sad I had left. Elena Gilbert, the woman I thought I had no chance with was morning my loss."

I shifted in my sit as I let out a soft cry at his words. I was doing my best to keep it together, because I was feeling like I was being pulled apart by his words. So harsh, yet so true.

"Like that wasn't enough, you kissed me. You fucking kissed me! You let me touch you in ways you and I both know I shouldn't have been allowed to. You slept in my arms. Your body responded to mine. You came by my hand," his voice got a bit louder and strangled. As if speaking the words aloud was hurting him. "So how am I supposed to let you go now? How could I ever forget the way your body feels like, hot and soft in my arms? How can I take the sound of you moaning for me out of my head when it's all I can hear, Elena? How?" he asked. Once again I had no answers for him. I wish I did. God, how I wish I did.

"How do I explain this to my brother? That I am in love with his girlfriend. That I love her so much, a simple look in her direction makes me feel alive. How to tell him you gave me hope and I cannot stop thinking that maybe, just maybe, I might actually have a chance. That the impossible happened and his nightmare has come true and Elena Gilbert might actually have feelings for the psychopathic bother."

"Damon," I protested. I meant to say more, but my mind was foggy. A buzzing sound took over my brain and made it impossible for me to put a sentence together.

"No, Elena!" he bursted. "You said you wanted to fix this. So tell me how? Because honestly I have no fucking clue how to fix it."

"I don't know!" I yelled. "I do not know," I said again in a softer tone.


	16. Chapter 16

**N: Hello nice people. Here is the next chapter. A bit a filter one, but I really hope you like. Let me know in a review!**

 **Make a Plan, See it Through**

"Uh, sorry to interrupt. I thought you two might need a referee by now."

Both Damon and I turned our attention to the girl now standing in the doorway.

"Sorry Lucy. We didn't mean to wake you," I said softly, not that me lowering my voice now would help. The damage has already been done.

"So you mean to tell me, all this shouting wasn't for me?" she said and to my surprise, I found myself smiling. Who knew the witch had a sense of humor?

"I will go make breakfast," Damon said and in a blink of an eye, he was gone.

"I am sorry," I said again turning my attention back to Lucy.

"Don't worry about it. I am a morning person. Anything I can help with?" she asked.

I shook my head. "It's a long story."

"Maybe you just need a fresh perspective. It might help," she offered.

"I would need a few months just to begin to explain what's wrong with my life."

"That bad uh?"

"Worse."

She must've picked up on my lack of desire to explain further, because she changed the subject.

"How's Bonnie?" she asked.

"Good. I think. To be honest, I really have no idea. She has been using a lot of magic lately. More than she should have. I am afraid she might be pushing herself too hard. I wish she didn't have to, but I am scared that if I push her away she might never forgive me. For all her faults, she is an extraordinary friend. Everyone is being a great friend. Everyone wants to help and I just… I just want them to be safe."

"That's their choice, Elena, not yours."

"But I feel responsible."

"No offence, but don't you think that's a bit insulting to your friends? To take responsibility for their choices like that? Like they don't have a say in their own decisions." She asked. I looked at her, remaining silent. She had a point.

"How would you feel knowing your friends are risking their lives for you?" I asked once I found my voice again.

Lucy smiled softly. "Honored. Humbled. Terrified. But at the end of the day, they may do with their own lives as they please. I cannot make choices for them. If that was their choice, I would have to simply respect that. Respect it and of course, fight for them. With them. That's all you can do, really."

"Breakfast!" Damon yelled from the kitchen. (That was fast)

"We better go. He is not in a very good mood this morning," I said and she laughed.

"I kind of noticed," Lucy said as we made our way into the spacious kitchen.

"Eat!" Damon ordered in a dry tone as he placed two plates with scrambled eggs, bacon and some barriers on the table.

"Aren't you eating? Or you don't do regular food? I know some of you don't bother with human food at all," Lucy asked.

"I like eating regular food, I just have somewhere else to be," he said filling two tall glasses with orange juice.

"Where?" I asked taking a sit at the table.

"The tomb. Bonnie and Jeremy should be here in about an hour and Caroline said she will meet us there soon."

"Wait, you are going there now?"

"Yes, Elena, that is what I just said. I need to have a talk with Katherine before she gets out."

"What's the point? If you are trying to talk some sense into her, I think you're about five hundred years too late," I protested.

Damon scoffed. "I am not trying to talk sense into her. I know it's too late for that. Katherine lost her sense with no prospect of ever getting it back, no matter who's trying. Maybe Stefan might be able to get through to her. Maybe it's too late for that too. Anyway, I am going to talk some fear into her, not sense," he said and vanished before I could say anything else.

"Excuse me," I said to Lucy apologetically and got up following Damon.

By the time I reached Damon's room and got a peek inside, he had just buttoned his pants and was picking up a t-shirt from a huge armoire. I cleared my voice to make my presence known, got inside and closed the door behind me.

"That was unnecessary," he said.

"What was unnecessary?" I asked confused.

"Making noises to alert me of your presence. I know my brother is not the best example for vampires in general, but we have extraordinary senses. You can't really sneak up on a vampire, Elena. I heard you from the moment you got up from your chair. What can I help you with?" he asked as he put on his t-shirt. It was simple, black (shocking!) but again, simple has always worked on him.

"I just don't understand this need to have a heart to heart with Katherine."

"I won't call threatening her a heart to heart really," he said opening his eyes wide at me. Eyes that were capable to change colors just as fast as Damon was capable of transitioning from one mood to another. In this particular instant they were blue-green. Which in my experience revealed annoyance and irritation.

I smiled ironically. "You are planning on threatening Katherine?"

"Yes."

"That's stupid, Damon and you know it. From everything you know about that woman, what makes you think it will do anything besides provoke her?"

"We have the numbers. Yes she is stronger than all of us individually, but together, not so much. We did manage to almost kill her and trap her in a tomb after all. People are weak apart, but give them a common goal and they become deadly. Just ask the French."

"I still think it's pointless, but if you really want to do that, fine. I will come with you. Just give me ten minutes," I said ready to run to my room and get dressed.

"No."

"No?"

"No. You stay and eat! No offence but you look like shit. A strong wind could knock you down."

It was my turn to open my eyes wide. "That's… well, thanks." Trust Damon to tell you the uncoated truth when you least expect it. Although, I must admit, his brutal at times honesty, was something I liked most about him. I knew that no matter what, no matter how bad things got, I could always count on Damon to tell me the truth.

"You're welcome. See you in the tomb."

"Wait!" I yelled and he stopped by the door, hand on the handle.

"Please be careful," I said softly.

He turned around slowly. For a full minute he didn't say anything, he just looked at me. His eyes were now completely gray. That betrayed conflict, puzzlement. As if he was at war with himself. He whispered my name and in three steps he was in front of me, taking away my breath. I had no idea what he was going to do. I didn't think he knew what he was going to do either.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, he lowered his head and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. I couldn't help the way my heart picked up pace. I couldn't help the way my hand reached for him. And I certainly couldn't help the impulse to kiss him. I stood on my tip-toes, looped my arms around his neck and kissed him. The kiss left me earning for more the moment he pulled away.

"I have to go," he said in a soft, straggled voice. I blinked and just like that, he was gone.

***DE***

By the time my brother and Bonnie arrived at the Boarding House, Lucy and I had just finished with our breakfast. I was doing the dishes, so I asked Lucy to get the door.

After the initial greetings, Bonnie and Lucy started talking about different spells and how much power they required. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I practically jumped when my brother sat next to me on the couch.

"Jeremy," I gasped.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Bullshit! What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just hope all goes well, that's all," I said and he rolled his eyes.

"I am not a kid anymore, Elena. You don't have to protect me all the time. Something is up with you. Has been for a while. I think I know what it is, but I would rather you told me," Jeremy said and I let out a loud sigh.

"Uhh, I…"

"You like Damon, don't you?" he asked interrupting me. "And you feel guilty about it," he went on when I didn't answer.

"How could I not?"

"Elena, people fall in and out of love all the time. It isn't your fault."

I guess he had a point. Also, hearing him say that, meant the world to me. However, that didn't make what Damon said earlier any less true. It was still complicated. Someone was still going to get hurt and there was no way around that. No matter how much I wished there was.

"He killed you Jer," I said softly.

"Yeah, he did, but I forgave him for that and so did you," he took in a breath before continuing. "I don't know if he told you this, but we talked_"

"You and Damon talked?" I asked surprised.

"Yes. I came here one night to kill him," I frowned at the statement, but didn't say anything. "Pointless to say I didn't. We ended up talking. He helped me sort out some stuff. You know, when he is not acting like a first-class jerk, he is actually a pretty decent guy. Easy to talk to." Oh, that I knew. "He is just been sad and mourning for a very long time. And when people are morning sometimes they do stupid shit. I should know. But I think being around you started to heal some of the wounds. He loves you, Elena, and out of all the people in the world, I trust him most to keep you safe. I don't think you should apologize for carrying about someone who loves you, protects you and will always put your needs before their own. That's my opinion. Take it or leave it, I just wanted you to know."

"Thank you," before I could say anything more, Bonnie's phone went off. She stood up and told us Damon texted and wanted us to go the tomb. Just as we got out of the house, my friend's phone went off again.

"It's Caroline. She says she is on her way and should be there soon," she explained.

"Ok," I said and got in the car.


	17. Chapter 17

**N: Thank you all for your support and reviews!**

 **Here is the next chapter (duh!) Hope you will like it and drop me a line.**

 **Rescue Mission**

THE TOMB

"Your girlfriend and your brother should be here any minute now" Katherine said, moving aside so Stefan would be able to stand up. Stefan felt light headed as he stood up at Vampire speed. He felt drained of energy. Which made sense since he hasn't feed in nearly three days. Not to mention the exhaustion just from being in Katherine's company. "Do you really need to put that shirt on? It looks way better on the floor," she followed him with her eyes as he stretched his hand to grab his shirt. He got dressed as fast as he could without looking at her.

"This was a mistake, I love Elena."

"Still in denial, I see. And after last night," Katherine stood up slowly, stretching her naked body. She had never been a prude. What was the point? She had a great body and she knew it. After a few minutes, she moved away from the blanket, putting on her boy shorts and her dress. She turned her back to Stefan and waited.

"I told you it was a mistake…" he said again, making Katherine roll her eyes. She turned around to look at Stefan who kept passing his hands through his ruffled hair and looking around. As if he was expecting someone to come in and offer to turn back time or tell him he had been dreaming. Typical. She knew the moment he had kissed her this will happen. Stefan had spent years convincing himself that what he had felt for her had been a lie. Convincing himself she had compelled his love for her. It was too much to think just one night could change all that. Also, Katherine was aware that Stefan had feelings for her little human doppelganger. She understood how that would deter him from admitting feeling anything at all towards Katherine.

"Oh come on Stefan, once it's a mistake, twice, it happens, but five times. And if you want to keep this between us, I really suggest you calm down and zip up my dress," she said impatiently. What was it going to take to make Stefan admit he still had feelings for her?

"Katherine, I'm serious," he came up behind her and grabbed the zipper with shaky hands. It took him a while to get the zipper all the way up. "Elena can never know about this!" If he was being honest with himself Stefan was very much confused. Yes, he loved Elena. Yes, he definitely thought what transpired between him and Katherine had not been a great decision. However, it also proved that there were definitely some sort of oppressed feelings involved. Stefan didn't know exactly what they meant. What it all meant. He needed time. Time and blood and a few miles between himself and his crazy sire. He just had to think and put things into perspective.

Katherine scoffed. She knew that running to tell Elena would be a mistake. No, she had tried the aggressive approach. She needed a different tactic. One that didn't involve his precious Elena. He accused her earlier of not carrying about him because she had hurt Elena. According to Stefan, if Katherine did anything against her annoying doppelganger, he will take it as something against himself. She couldn't afford to push him away. After all, they had just made so much progress. Stefan may not think so, but Katherine knew better. "I'm curious, have you ever been with her five times in less than eight hours?" Katherine asked ignoring his panic. "Oh, wait, she's human. So you can't do to her, what you did to me. Way too breakable," she continued, smiling at Stefan.

If there was even the tiniest doubt in Katherine's mind of how much Stefan had changes since he turned…well, not anymore. As a lover, back in his human days, Stefan had been shy. His inexperience had actually softened her. He had been so gentile and so patient. Despite knowing she was a vampire – and therefore extremity strong – Stefan had still insisted on asking her every couple of minutes if he had hurt her.

As a vampire though… he had been rough. If not for her old age and ability to heal so fast, she would've been covered in cuts and bruises. The first three times they had been together, Katherine was sure Stefan was anger-fucking her. Punishing her for something through sex. The fourth time he had calmed a little. And the fifth time he had been almost gentile. And yet, that fifth, gentile time had not been even close to the way he had been as a human. But Katherine didn't care. Katherine loved Stefan no matter how he chose to have sex. Rough or gentile, it didn't matter to her.

"Shut up Katherine, just shut up!" Stefan shouted.

"I will if you admit you love me."

"I love Elena."

"I know, I never said you didn't. I believe you love your human me, no arguments there. You can love more than one person at the same time though."

"Please don't tell me that's what happened to you, with Damon and me," Stefan interrupted her.

"No," she admitted, taking herself by surprise as well. " Not really…" Did he really think this was easy for her? Katherine Pierce didn't do feelings. She couldn't afford to. Not when a wrong move could get her killed. She had denied herself the luxury of emotions a long time ago. It really came as a surprise when she realized she was falling for Stefan. Wrong place, wrong time and extremely inconvenient for her to care about someone. Especially a young, naïve human. "Not really. I already told you what I felt for your brother was more desire than love. It had more to do with physical attraction than sentimental one. I am saying, that's what's happening to Elena with you and Damon. I told you. Well, actually I didn't, I told your brother. I never loved him; I loved you, only you."

"Well, too bad for you then. You picked the wrong brother."

"Speaking of the devil, your brother's here" she announced walking towards the entrance, just in time to watch Damon get in. "At least you get the chance to do this, the second time around" Katherine said looking at Damon.

"What are you talking about, Katherine?" he asked.

"Well you get to get me out of this tomb right now. As we both know I wasn't here for your first attempt." She answered.

"You know what, you're right. I guess I should let you rot in here. After all, I owe you one."

"You promised to get me out."

"So," Damon shrugged and Katherine's smile vanished. "How many promises did **you** break Katherine? How many promises did you make to me, to Stefan, to poor Maison and God knows how many others and never came through?"

Katherine chose to ignore Damon's questions. "Where is the rest of your little band of misfits?" she asked instead.

"Relax, they're on their way. I just came ahead to make a few promises of my own. I know you are stronger than any of us and you have this need to be the biggest bitch around. But you are not stronger than all of us together. We put you in here once and we can do it again. If you have any revenge plots in mind, I suggest you give them up. Because if you harm any of us or kill anyone within a ten mile radius of Mystic Falls, it will give me great pleasure to put you right back and watch you desiccate in this tomb. And every hundred years, I will come feed you a drop of blood and watch you desiccate all over again. It will give me something to look forward to for, uhh I don't know, ever."

Katherine's mouth fell open and her eyes opened wide. She's always known Damon was capable of just about anything in the name of love. She knew just how passionate and loyal he could be. His protectiveness over the people he loved was always something she admired in him. However, watching him now, staring her down with his incredible eyes, she didn't know if she was more terrified or turned on.

"You know why it would've never worked between us, Katherine?" Damon asked but didn't wait for an answer. "Because we are too much alike. The difference is, I would go to any lengths to protect the people I love and you do it to protect yourself. With your selfish nature, you managed to push away everyone who was foolish enough to love you. You have no one, Katherine. You are alone. So don't get any ideas, because you **will** lose. Do we understand each other?" Katherine nodded.

From behind her, Stefan was doing his best to look anywhere **but** at his brother. As if, somehow, if Damon looked at him, he would be able to tell what transpired between him and Katherine just minutes before he arrived. He wasn't ashamed of what he did, as much as how it had made him feel. The moment he had touched Katherine, he lost himself in her in a way he never did with Elena. Being with her, made him realize that the part of himself he gave Katherine in 1964, he never got back.

"Good, and just in time," Damon said and not even a minute later Elena, Bonnie, Lucy, Jeremy and Caroline joined them.

***DE***

"Elena, I must say you look horrible. And that's coming from someone who spent the last month in a tomb," Katherine said making me roll my eyes. It wasn't like I didn't know I looked like a ghost. Caffeine could only do so much. I didn't have time to put on more makeup.

"Do we really have to get her out?!" Elena asked looking at Damon.

"If we don't, then we'll be breaking a deal and we're no better than her" Damon answered, than he took a step forward and looked directly into Katherine's eyes.

"Remember our conversation Katherine," he said.

"Don't worry, I'll keep my word and I won't kill anyone in this town. As for Elena, I want her alive as much as you do," she said.

Damon opened his mouth, ready to say something, but stopped and turned around. A few seconds later I saw Bonnie and Lucy getting closer to the tomb entrance.

"Hello, back stabbing friend!" Katherine said looking at Lucy.

"She's too weak to try something right now, but she won't stay away, that's for sure. As for killing any of you, if she would've wanted you guys dead, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now, you would've most certainly be dead."

"Finally someone that doesn't underestimate me." Katherine interrupted.

"…but you are not, so she doesn't want any of you dead." Lucy finished, than she grabbed Bonnie's hands and closed her eyes. They both started mumbling something that sounded like a prayer, in a foreign language. I had no idea what they were saying. Not that it mattered. We were about to let loose a psychotic vampire.

In about two minutes the two withes opened their eyes and Lucy said: "You're free!"

Katherine vanished before anyone had time to think about what just happened.

Stefan run over and took me in his arms. I responded with hesitation at first, but then I buried my face in his neck and held him close. I had missed him. Yes, my feelings for him were not what they used to, but I still cared for him. Not to mention that he had been stuck in there because of me. Somewhere behind me, I heard Damon ask Lucy and Bonnie if they were ok.

"Yes, fine." They both answered.

We did it, we got Stefan out and no one died. Yet. No one died yet.


	18. Chapter 18

**N: First I want to apologize for being late on the update. Life got annoying again.**

 **Also wanted to let you guys know there is only one more chapter after this and another one (small epilogue) before we say goodbye to this story.**

 **Thank you so much for your support and words on this!**

 **Anyway, here is the next chapter, hope you will enjoy it.**

 **The Complicated Needs and Wants of Elena Gilbert**

The next morning I practically dragged my body out of bed. I haven't been able to sleep at all. All night long I tossed and turned, occasionally throwing my pillow across the room, just to go fetch it a few minutes later. I had tried counting sheep, meditating, I even tried warm milk. And I hated warm milk. Nothing worked and by the time the first rays of sunshine broke throw the horizon, I knew with certainty why. Damon hadn't been there. Tonight and the night before, I had been alone in bed, and both times, I failed to sleep. So yeah, getting out of bed, I accepted the fact that I was now conditioned to need Damon to sleep, just like a toddler needed a teddy bear. As much as I hated to admit it, I had gotten used to having him there. Close to me, watching over me. I had missed his body next to mine, his strong arms around my body, his scent. I had missed him.

I let out a deep sigh as I rearranged the covers over my bed. Who knew a few days was all it might take to develop an addiction to Damon Salvatore. If I was honest with myself, I had always harbored some sort of feelings for the elder Salvatore. The overwhelming need to help him and to protect him had always been there. It was impossible to explain. It just was. Did I find it odd? Yes. But finding it odd, didn't stop the feelings from manifesting. I had done my best to fight against those feelings. For Stefan. For Bonnie and Caroline. Because of what he had done to them and to so many others over the years. Because he had killed, literally killed my only brother. As God was my witness I had tried. Tried to hate him for it. And for a while I did hate him for killing Jeremy. My mind tried to hold on to that feeling of hate, but my heart didn't. My heart forgave him long before I allowed my mind to forgive him too.

Sometimes what I felt for Damon was so intense, so overwhelming that it consumed all that I was. Fighting it only made things worse. And I was tired. Simply too tired to keep fighting a losing battle. I finally reached my limit. I could no longer push him away and ignore all the feelings he had ignited within me. Feelings, I had no idea a person could feel without losing their sanity. But then again, maybe I had lost my sanity long ago. What I knew for sure was that I will no longer be able to do it anymore.

Of course, I didn't want to hurt Stefan, but what I was doing was inevitably going to hurt him in the future. There was no way around. As Damon said, someone was bound to get hurt. He had also been right about my feelings. I had been lying to him, to Stefan and to myself. I had been lying for so long that I had almost come to believe it. Did I still love Stefan? Yes, yes I did. A part of me always will. He had come into my life when I needed him the most. Slowly, he had managed to make me feel at a time when I thought I might never feel again. For a time, Stefan had been exactly what I had needed, but not anymore. Somewhere along the way what Stefan made me feel, paled in comparison to what Damon made me feel. While Stefan had brought a spark into my life, Damon brought back the sun.

Ughh, what was I going to do? If someone were to ask me right now what it was that I felt for Damon, I wouldn't be able to answer. I had no idea what I felt for him. Not yet. There had been too much confusion. Too many things happened one after another. Too much going on for me to take the time and sort out my feelings. Not to mention Stefan and the rest of my friends who would most certainly think I lost it if I told them I had developed feelings for Damon. However, I knew there were feelings. Feelings I didn't want to stop exploring. They were complicated, complex and thrilling. Every time I thought I had it figure it out, Damon managed to do something or say something that would take me completely by surprise. He had a way of bringing out every emotion within myself. He could make me feel angrier than I had ever been. But he could also bring me a sort of calm and pace that up until I had met him, I didn't think existed.

Oh, and what about the promises I made Stefan? I had looked him in the eyes not too long ago and promised him, I will always chose him. That I only loved him. Each time he made a comment about Damon, I had assured him he had nothing to worry about. Had I meant all those things when I had said them? Yes. At the time, I meant every single word. But then again, I had no idea of the man that lay underneath the beast. I had no idea that my connection to Damon would grow and develop the way it had. So yes, when I had said those things I had absolutely meant them. I thought I was safe. Physical attraction was not enough to make a person fall in love. Especially not me. Yes, with time I had admitted that I had come to care about Damon as a friend. Friendship and nothing more. Considering all I knew about Damon and all the bad things he had done to so many people, including my friends, what else could I feel? In my mind, the thought that I might come to feel more than care and friendship towards Damon Salvatore was simply not possible. Yet here I was.

The one thing I did manage to sort out: my feelings for Stefan. Last night when I hugged him, I realized that my feelings towards him had changed quite dramatically. What I felt now for Stefan Salvatore was nothing more than what I felt for Bonnie, or Caroline or Matt. A deep gratitude for having him in my life. Friendship.

I went to the desk and reached into my bag for my phone. I took it out so abruptly that the bag tipped over and fell flat on the wooden surface. A few items feel from it, but I was too distracted to pay any attention, let alone pick them up. I looked at my phone. There were no messages, no missed calls. Without a second look at the fallen bag, I rushed into the bathroom. I hadn't noticed the golden band rolling from within a small packet in my bag on the desk in plain sight.

***DE***

When I came out of the shower, a long forty minutes later, Stefan was waiting for me. A part of me was happy to see him. I was glad he was no longer stuck in that horrible tomb with my crazy doppelganger. However, a part of me was disappointed. When I first sensed a presence in the room, I had hoped to see Damon waiting for me. We hadn't had a chance to talk since we got Stefan out of the tomb and Katherine bolted. By the time Stefan and I broke apart, he had already gone. I had refused Stefan's offer to go with him at the Boarding House and came straight home. I hoped Damon might've come by. I had waited for him for hours. A few minutes after two am, I gave up. I turned off my lamp and curled into a ball under the covers. It seemed that a part of me decided to wait for Damon all night long. During the entire night, I haven't been able to fall asleep for more than a few minutes at the time.

"I wasn't sure you would be awake," Stefan said standing up from the windowsill.

"Didn't sleep much," I said softly. "I just took a shower," I went on as if it wasn't obvious. My hair was still damp and I had a towel in my hand. Just to give myself something to do – and maybe a little to also avoid Stefan – I placed the towel on the back of a chair and started brushing my hair.

Stefan walked around the room. He seemed uncomfortable. As if he was out of place. He stopped in front of my desk and picked up the golden ring that I had probably noticed at the same time as him.

"Don't touch that!" I snapped.

As if the object burned him, Stefan immediately let it go. When he looked at me again his eyes were opened wide.

"Anything you want to tell me?"

"Excuse me?" I asked confused. My voice was back to normal now that the fake wedding ring was once more out of Stefan's hands.

"You didn't get married while I was in the tomb, did you?" he must've meant the question as a joke, but I didn't find it funny.

"No," I answered simply. I guess he figured he wasn't about to get an explanation, because he didn't ask anything else.

"Where's Damon?" I asked. I hoped I managed to sound casual. In reality I was eager to know, but I didn't want Stefan to know just how much.

"He volunteered to drive Lucy back home. They should be leaving any minute now. When I left they were getting ready."

Panic.

Yes, panic was what I felt. It took over my entire being. My hands started shaking slightly and my mouth went dry. The familiar buzzing sound that came along with powerful emotions made its way all over my mind. After taking in a few deep breaths to calm down, the buzzing went away. Once enough oxygen reached my brain, I had made up my mind. I dropped the brush to the floor and gave it no second thought. Completely forgetting about Stefan, who must've been wondering what came over me, I put on some snickers and ran to my car.

I was already opening the car door when Stefan caught up with me.

"Elena, where are you going?"

"The Boarding House."

"Why?"

"I need to talk to Damon," I said, like that was supposed to make sense. I was aware that it was not a good explanation for my behavior, but who cared.

"Let me call him first. He might already be gone by_"

I was not able to hear the rest because I had already closed the door and started the engine.

By the time I got to the house, Stefan was already there and Damon's car was pulling out of the garage slowly. Without really thinking, I got out of my car, not even bothering to close the door. A few seconds later, Damon's car stopped only millimeters away from my thighs.

"Elena!"

"Are you insane?!"

Both Stefan and Damon – who was now out of the car – yelled at me. My eyes stayed on Damon. He was the one I had to focus on. Stefan could wait. Hell, the whole world could wait.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked, slamming the door to his car shut.

"You're leaving?"

"I am driving Lucy home. In case you forgot, she didn't drive here. **We** brought her here."

He was looking at me in that way that clearly said 'what the hell do you want from me?' and it sucked. It sucked because I really had no idea what I wanted from him. All I knew for certain was that I didn't want him to leave. I couldn't let him go, not again. Not now. Maybe not ever. I had no clue where all these intense feelings were coming from. At the time, I couldn't stop and analyze the situation. I was guided by fear. Fear of losing him.

"No." I said softly.

"No what?" he asked.

"You cannot leave again." I said in a strange, straggled voice. "I won't let you. I am coming with you," I finished firmly. There, now I at least had a plan. I was going to go with him and make sure he came back.

Damon rolled his eyes. "Get out of the way **Elena**!" he ordered, emphasizing my name.

"No."

"Are you… Stefan, do something," Damon urged his brother.

Hesitantly, Stefan took a few steps in my direction. I could see him in the corner of my eye. He raised his hand, as if to reach me, but I pulled away.

"Stefan don't you dare," I warned.

Damon looked from me to his brother, then back to me. "Elena_"

"No!" I interrupted. "You left once already and it sucked. I don't know how and I don't know why, but when you left, something inside of me broke," I took in a deep breath. A heavy silence settled all around us. The magnitude of what I had just confessed to was lingering in the air. I didn't mean for it to come out that way. Not here, not now, not like this. I had hoped to be alone with Damon. I had hoped I would have had more time to sort out my feelings. Yes, I had been miserable when he left. But why? Was it because of our friendship? Was it because I had come to rely on him. No, it had been more than that and the few days we spent together proved that. The line I wasn't supposed to cross has been left behind a while ago. It had started to blur over time and it had been forgotten once Damon came back. I allowed the line to fall behind the moment I allowed Damon to touch me the way he had.

I cleared my throat. (Cat was out of the bag. We couldn't put it back anymore). "Please don't leave," I said softly. After a few seconds, Damon opened his mouth but no words came out. I guess my bold statements had shocked him. Even though they shouldn't have. After all, he had been the one to tease me about 'being sick' when he left. He had been the one to point out that things have changed. There was no way he expected me to just go back to Stefan, just like that. Was it? After what had happened between us? No, Damon was many things, stupid, was not one of them. He must've known. Must've figured out how much his departure has affected me. He must understand why I couldn't let him simply leave again. Just to reinforce my words, I added another soft "Please!"

"Elena," Damon took a few steps towards me. This time his voice was lean, warm and it resonated all the way into my heart. I too, took a few steps forward to meet him half way. The fact that Stefan was right there watching us was completely forgotten. "I am just driving Lucy back home. I will be back," he said.

For some strange reason, the next thing I knew, tears were falling from my eyes. My tears felt hot in contrast with my cold cheeks.

"You promise?" I asked in a shaky voice. I was doing my best to hold back the tears. (Not that it worked)

Damon reached up and caressed my cheek. Automatically, my head tilted to rest in the palm of his hand. Glad for the contact. "Yes, I promise," he mumbled against my skin as he bend a little to place a kiss against my forehead. The gesture reminded me of the memory he had taken from me. The memory I now had and cherished more than any other. "I am going to go now," he went on, pulling away from me. It took all the strength I had to let him go. All I wanted in that moment was to pull him into my arms and never let go of him. "I will see you in two days."

I nodded.

I was still there, in the driveway, long after Damon's blue Camaro disappeared from sight. Once I was sure the car was gone, I dropped to my knees, sobs ripping through my body. Exhaustion was making my body feel heavy. It felt as if it didn't belong to me. My muscles were throbbing in pain.

Soon after I dropped on the ground I felt a hand on my shoulder. I knew who it was without having to look up.

"Elena," I heard Stefan's hesitant voice. Instead of looking at him, I closed my eyes tight. I couldn't look at him. Not after what just happened. After everything that I said.

"I am sorry," was what I settled for. And I was. I really was sorry. My intention had never been to hurt Stefan.

"Why don't you come inside and we can talk about it?" he asked and I nodded my head once.

I accepted his hand and he helped me stand. Once the door closed behind us I started to panic. I had no idea what to say to him. How to explain. I barely understood what was happening myself. Stefan led us into the kitchen. "I will make us some coffee," he said and I just took a seat on one of the stools at the kitchen isle. Neither of us said anything while Stefan moved gracefully around the room making the coffee. Once he was done, he filled two cups. He placed one in front of me before taking a seat on the opposite side of the isle. He took a sip from his steaming cup before letting it rest in front of him.

"Are you in love with him?" he asked and I gasped in pain as I burned my tongue.

"No," I answered quickly. Was I? I felt something for Damon, that much I knew and admitted to, but was it love? "I don't know," I added. I wanted to be as honest as possible. He deserved as much. We all did. "Look Stefan, I want to be honest with you. I care about you and I believe you deserve honesty." Stefan simply nodded. "I hadn't realized I cared about Damon as much as I do until he left."

"I must admit, seeing you fall apart like you did when he left had hurt. You tried to hide it, but it was all over your face."

I looked away as is words.

"Hey," he murmured and I turned my attention back to him. There was pain in his eyes, yes, but it was not the devastating type. Not the way it had been when we broke up because of Katherine what seemed like a lifetime ago. Maybe I wasn't the only one whose feelings have changed. "Look, I cannot blame you for carrying about Damon. I do too. Maybe it had been wrong of me, but I was happy when I realized he felt something for you. I thought he might've lost that part of himself for good. Going through what he had to go through. Always alone. I thought he had lost the ability to connect. To care about others. Damon always had a big heart. You might not know this, because you didn't know him as human. He had always done things with so much heart and passion. To see all that gone, it nearly broke me. Especially considering the big part I played in it. First with Katherine, then forcing him to turn and finally by losing control the way I did."

I blinked rapidly. New tears were threatening to escape the glassy prison of my eyes. Damon had been through so much. Both Salvatore brothers had been through so much. They deserved a break. They deserved to find pace and be happy.

"We didn't see much of each other over the years. In this we are both to blame. But occasionally, I would catch a glimpse of the old Damon. I could see that spark in his eyes that he used to always carry. I had always hoped, against all odds, that one day someone will bring him back from the darkness he surrounded himself in. It so happens someone like that did come along. It's you Elena. You bring out the side of Damon I thought might be lost forever."

I had no idea what to say, I don't think I had ever felt more at a loss for words then at this moment. Nothing that came to mind made any sense.

"I didn't mean to…" I stopped, not knowing exactly what it was that I didn't mean to do.

"I know you didn't, Elena. You cannot really control how you feel. I should know that better than anyone. If I could've chosen, I would've never fallen for Katherine."

We stood in silence for what seemed like hours before Stefan spoke again.

"Since we are being honest with each other," he swallowed hard and I narrowed my eyes. "I made a mistake," another pause. "I…uhh, I slept with Katherine," he finally let out in one breath.

The reaction I had to Stefan's confession surprised us both. I laughed. At first it was but a smile, but it soon turned into full on laughter. I couldn't stop laughing.

"Was it something I said?" he asked once my laughter subsided.

"Sorry," I said shaking my head.

"I must admit, when I thought about telling you, this is the last reaction I thought of."

"I know. I mean, I imagine. Guess we are both kind of messed up, uh?" I asked, no longer laughing.

"I guess," he said sadly.

"You still have feelings for her," I said, not sure if it was a question or a statement.

"I honestly don't know."


	19. Chapter 19

**N: Hi guys, so here we are. The last chapter before the tiny epilogue… *sigh* I will miss this story for sure.**

 **Thank you again to each and every one of you who followed this story and took the time to review. Love you guys, you are the very best and you all deserve to go to the "good place" (any "The Good Place" fans here?)**

 **I am almost done with a brand new story AU/AH and should start posting soon, so keep an eye out.**

 **Enough with the chitchat, enjoy the chapter!**

 **Moment of Clarity**

I was sitting in the middle of my bed. My journal was wide open in my lap. Its weight not even perceived by my sore legs. I went running last night – since I had been unable to sleep. I thought it might help. It didn't. It just made me sore. The last sentence I wrote was staring at me from the white page.

Damon was about to get back from driving Lucy back home in just a few hours. My stomach was growling loudly, asking for my attention. The clock was ticking persistently from my night stand. My fingers were playing with the pen and just like that, the magnitude of the statement I had just wrote hit me at full force. I did not have 'some sort of feelings' for Damon. I did not 'care' for him as a friend. My feelings for him were not ambiguous or conflicted. No, my feelings for him were no longer unclear. I was simply in love with him. I loved his sense of humor. I loved his passion and devotion. I loved his stubbornness and protectiveness. I loved his courage and loyalty. I loved his blue-gray eyes and the way they would warm up when he looked at me. I loved Damon Salvatore, just the way he was.

I had been in denial for too long. It was time to be brave.

As soon as I came to terms with the monumental realization, I bolted from the bed.

With a plan forming in my head, a credit card in my hand and excitement running through my veins I turned on my computer. I was ready for this now. Ready to fight for what **I** wanted. The hell with the rest of the world and their biased opinions.

***DE***

Damon got inside the house and almost collided with his brother.

"Easy there Steff, I drove for sixteen hours and my reflexes are a little off. Where are you in such a hurry to?" he asked even though he thought he knew. He concentrated on hearing every little noise in the house, but it was quiet as a tomb. Since Elena wasn't here, Stefan must be rushing to his girlfriend's house.

"Lunch," Stefan said simply.

Damon considered making a sarcastic comment about his brother's choice of nourishment, but something in Stefan's expression stopped him. He didn't remember ever seeing that look on his younger brother's face before. Stefan's eyes were fixated on him, his brows lifted, jaw tight and Damon had no idea what it meant. For what seemed like hours neither of them moved. It was Damon the one to first break the silence.

"Well, I need a shower," he said and turned to make his way towards the staircase.

"Damon!" Stefan called from behind him. Damon turned around slowly, believing with all his heart he knew precisely what his brother was about to lecture him about. He was wrong.

"She made her choice Damon, and it's not me," Stefan said. Damon frowned.

"She'll change her mind once the dust settles. She just freaked out with everything going on and me leaving, it's normal."

Stefan smiled sadly. "She didn't freak out, Damon. She fell apart. I should know, I was there to pick up the pieces."

"I…I can't_"

"You can't what?"

Damon's face contorted as if he was in physical pain. Stefan took a deep breath and waited patiently for his older brother to explain. Whoever thought Stefan Salvatore didn't know his own brother was wrong! Stefan knew Damon all too well. He knew all about Damon's way of sabotaging himself just when things were looking up. He knew all about Damon's stubbornness. And all about his brother's fear of allowing himself to truly love again. Truly open himself up to the possibility of being hurt again.

"I can't get the girl," Damon said simply.

"Why not?"

"Because I am not… I am not good. I lash out, I do the wrong thing."

"No you don't," Stefan protested. "You do what is necessary. You do what the others are too afraid to do. What **I** was always too afraid to do. You always have. Since we were kids. Every time I did something stupid, you let father punish you for it. I might've been the one to hold Elena's hand, but you are the one that actually got her through. She is alive because of you."

Damon took a minute to reflect on his brother's words. It was true. He got used to making the tough decisions and being labeled the 'bad guy'. He had to. He had to take responsibility and do what was necessary, because no one else ever did. When he finally spoke, his voice came out as a tired whisper. "I don't know if I can change."

"You don't have to change, just let her in," Stefan said. "Plus, it's not like you have a choice. That's a very determined, stubborn human," he went on and Damon smirked. Yes, that much he knew. When Elena Gilbert put her mind to something, there was no reasoning with the girl.

"What about you?" Damon asked.

Stefan shrugged. "I am not supposed to tell you this, but she has a trip planned for you. That gives me enough time to get my stuff in order. I should be gone by the time you guys get back."

"You don't have to go," Damon protested. Yeah, so he loved his baby bro, sue him!

"I know I don't have to Damon, but I want to. I need to be on my own. Truly on my own. Without you or Lexi or anyone else keeping me afloat. I gotta prove it to myself that I can do this alone."

"Always the hero."

"Come on, we both know I was never the hero," Stefan said and Damon gave his little brother a small smile.

"I still need to shower."

"And I still need to feed." Stefan turned the door handle, but before he opened the door, Damon spoke again.

"You have to come back once in a while. Even if it is just to keep down the animal population of Mystic Falls."

"I will," Stefan said hiding a grin.

"Good luck little brother!"

"You too!" and with that, he was out of the door before Damon could say anything more. He stood still, staring at the door for a while. A part of him wanted to rush after his brother. Tell him, the hell with Elena Gilbert and her whiny, annoying little friends and join him on a new adventure. But he knew Stefan was right. He needed to do this on his own. And Damon knew, deep down, he knew that where his journey came to a conclusion, his brother's journey just started.

***DE***

Stefan texted me the moment Damon walked through the door. I sent him a quick text to thank him, put my phone in my pocket and practically ran to my room. The suitcase was waiting for me on my bed where I had left it just thirty minutes ago. I walked into the bathroom, looking around to make sure I had packed everything I might need. Satisfied that I had put everything in, I closed the big suitcase and proceeded to drag in down the stairs. After I got in the driver seat of my new second-hand car, I checked my phone again. I had another message from Stefan: 'You're welcome. I am going out hunting in a minute. I think Damon is going to be in the shower, but you can let yourself in. I will leave the door unlocked as usual.' Good, I thought. I responded with a short 'ok, thanks again' before starting the engine and making my way towards the Boarding House.

All my confidence had vanished the moment I closed the entrance door behind me. Now that I was so close to Damon, so close to executing my plan, it seemed stupid. What if Damon said no? (What if he said yes?) Kicking myself for being a coward, I took in a deep breath and made my way up the stairs. Before long, I was in front of Damon's bedroom door. My heart started beating like crazy. I thought it might simply come out of my ribcage. I didn't recall being this nervous ever in my life. I closed my eyes for a brief second before pushing the door open and getting inside. The room was empty. I took a few shy steps towards the middle of the room and jumped when the door closed with a loud bang. It seemed as if the abrupt closing of the door had seized my decision. I was more determined than ever to go on with my plan. I had to be brave. I owed him that much. My mind cleared and everything came into focus. At least until I turned around and came face to face with a shirtless Damon Salvatore.

"Hello," I murmured softly.

"Can I help you with something, Elena?" he asked in a cool, velvety voice. As usual, he put just a little more feeling into the uttering of my name. For a brief moment I wondered: how did he always manage to make my name sound sinful? I always thought of my name as nothing special. Basic even. Not the way Damon used it though. No, he found a way to always make it sound… out of this world.

"I…" fuck, what was I here for again? "Well, I was…" I stopped again, because Damon took another small step towards me. Not only I could see him, but I could smell him now. God, he smelled amazing.

His skin was still lightly wet from the shower, glowing in the presence of a few brave rays of sunshine peeking through the curtains. Looking up, I could see that he just passed his hand through his hair. Despite being wet, it was ruffled. He basically looked like every woman's fantasy come to life. Well, as alive as a vampire could be considered being. When I met his eyes, he raised an eyebrow at me. Oh yes, I was talking. Or at least trying to. Damon always had this nifty ability to make me lose my train of thought.

"I was just wondering if you would go somewhere with me? I mean like a road trip. Just for a few days. You don't have to_"

"Elena?"

"But, I mean, it would be nice_"

"Elena?"

"I bought another car. It's second hand but runs very well. Only three years old, not a bad price either_"

"Elena?" Damon called again. This time he also placed his hands on my shoulders, giving me a little shake. I stopped talking, realizing that I probably would've gone on for hours if he hadn't stopped me. "Yes?" I said softly.

"Just tell me, where you need to go?" he asked moving away from me and opening the closet door. He picked up a navy blue shirt and put it on.

"Go?" I asked confused.

"You asked me if I would go with you somewhere. A road trip you called it."

"Oh, no. I mean, I don't have to go anywhere. This is a trip I want to take. With you."

Damon stopped buttoning his shirt and turned towards me. "Well, now you've made me curious. Where pray tell are we going?"

"It's a surprise," I said. Damon frowned.

"What about Stefan?"

"What about him?"

"Isn't Mr. Broody invited on the trip?" he asked.

"No," I answered simply. "Just me and you."

He nodded and made an unidentified sound before pulling out a medium size suitcase from a closet. Without another word, he started placing all sorts of clothing items inside it. I took a seat by the edge of his bed, watching him move around the room and into the bathroom.

"Aren't you packing?" he asked.

"Already did."

Damon dropped a glass bottle that I guessed must've been a perfume bottle in the suitcase and turned towards me. In three steps he was hovering above me, his eyes were going up and down, as if he didn't really know what he was looking for.

"What are we doing?" he asked.

I cleared my throat a few times before answering. I knew what this was. This was Damon panicking. I should've seen it coming. We are talking about a guy that never got what he wanted, a guy that didn't think he deserved to get what he wanted.

"Well," I started softly. "You are packing and I am watching," I finished.

"That's not what I meant."

"Do you want me to help?" I asked getting up from the edge of the bed. I thought Damon was going to move. Instead we came face to face, only inches apart.

"Elena, listen to me_"

"No Damon, **you** listen to **me**!" I interrupted. "You have this idea stuck in your head that you don't deserve to be loved. But it's not about deserving. Do you think I understand this better than you do? I don't, I just know that you had an effect on me from the moment we met. I didn't want to fall in love with my boyfriend's brother Damon, but I did. You can't explain feelings."

Damon's eyes opened wide. "You love me?" he asked in shock.

"I…well, I was going to tell you on our trip, but yes, I love you. And before you say I am confused or whatever arguments you have, don't! I am damn sure," I said. Damon was now looking at me like I had just told him I gave birth to a litter of kittens. I was expecting him to fight me on the statement I had just made no matter what I told him. I expected him to retaliate and tell me I don't know what I am talking about. What he did instead is pick me up, wrap my legs around his waist, burry his fingers in my hair and kiss me.

It felt… well it felt like winning the lottery. There was that thrill; that insane sense of excitement and happiness combined with the dread that it might be too good to be true. Time stood still and every single cell in my body came to life, as if he was blowing some sort of life force into me.

When he finally let me go and my feet touched the ground, my eyes opened. He must've seen the tears in them, ready to break free, because he looked confused.

I shook my head slightly. "It's not what you think," I said and Damon raised an eyebrow at me. A tear slipped from the glassy castle of my eye down my cheek. Damon let out a sigh, cupped my face and used his thumb to brush away the rebel tear. "I am not sad. These are tears of joy."

He kept his right hand on my cheek and pressed his left one on my lower back to bring me closer to him. "I thought those were a myth," he whispered.

"So did I," I admitted. I have never shed tears of joy before and just like Damon, I thought they didn't exist.

The next thing I knew, my back hit the mattress as Damon placed me on his enormous bed. However, instead of allowing him to lay on top of me, I crossed my legs around his waist and turned us around.

"Oh no you don't," I said giggling at the shocked expression on Damon's face. "You have no idea," I started unbuttoning his shirt. Lucky for me, he only managed to button it half way, so after only four little buttons, I was done. "…the things I wanted to do to you," I went on. I got up, settling myself in his lap for the time being. I pulled at his collar until he came up in a seated position as well and I could easily slip the clothing over his shoulders. I pushed him back down and took off my jacket throwing it somewhere on the floor. First I took my time to freely glare at him. A luxury I could never afford in the past. Every time I caught a glance at him before, I felt guilty for the way it made me feel and forced my gaze away. This time, no more feeling guilty. This time nothing precluded me from flowing my impulse. I could look at him for as long as I wanted. But soon looking was not enough. Instinct took over and I stretched my hand letting my fingertips ghost over his skin. My eyes were following my fingers. Starting on his neck, his collarbone, and his pecks. As I reached his abs I stopped and looked up. His famous smirk in place and a sort of prideful glow in his eyes. Good, he looked beyond sexy.

I bent over, my hair cascading over his exposed chest. "At Lucy's grandmother, in the morning, you came out of the shower without having dried yourself. You said you saved the last towel for me. You were right there in front of me, naked, your skin glowing, wet and you know what was all that I could think about?" I asked in a whisper close to his ear.

"What's that?" he asked. Uhh, his voice sounded like a fantasy come to life. Lustful, raspy, a little strangled, just enough to betray the fact that he was as turned on as I was. Good.

"Well, I was watching those shameless drops of water gliding all over your body. And all I wanted to do was hunt each and every one of them and end their arrogant lives with my tongue, making sure I will have you all to myself," I said and the sound that came from his throat resonated all the way to my center.

"Elena, I am trying to let you run this little show, but you are making it very difficult," he said and I couldn't help but smirk at his words.

"Maybe next time I should just tie you up to make sure you'll behave," I said and I was once again reworded by a low, moan. Half a feline purr, half a growl.

I smirked. I felt like I was finally face to face with my favorite dessert. After I had washed my hands and eaten all my veggies, I finally got to have what I wanted.

Inpatient as I was, I unbuttoned Damon's jeans and let out a satisfied moan when I discovered he wasn't wearing any underwear. As soon as I pulled down his pants, I got up. "Stay!" I ordered before turning my back on him and getting rid of my own clothes. I left on my underwear. After all, I was wearing his favorite color. Black. The bra had a golden line on the edges of the cups and my panties had a little golden heart in the middle. The reason I was stripping with my back to Damon? The writing on the back of the panties. It said in gold letters: 'Danger, do not touch!'

"Is that really what you want love? For me not to touch you? Because if I remember correctly, my touch had quite a positive effect on you," he said and I turned around to face him. He seemed to be enjoying the show. Spread-eagled on the bed, hands under his head, smirk firmly placed on his handsome face. His eager eyes were the only thing to betray his emotions.

I cleared my throat softly. "For the time being **I** want to do the touching," I said, slowly making my way to him.

"As you wish Mistress," he said. A shiver went through my whole body.

"You may call me by my given name," I barely got out.

He nodded. "Any other rules I should know about?" he asked.

"Just no touching until I tell you too, and no moving."

"Understood," he said, his eyes fixated on mine. What this man could do to me just with his eyes was not normal. Biting my lips to prevent myself from yelling at him to just take me this minute, I resumed my position in Damon's lap. He was already hard and the feel of him against my center made me instantly wet.

With trembling hands I cupped his face, bending over him. I pressed a soft kiss on his lips. To my surprise he didn't try to kiss me or grab me. He stood perfectly still. I brushed my lips over his once more, the tip of my tongue flickered ever so slightly over his bottom lip. He let out a soft breath. Encouraged by his reaction, I sucked his lip into my mouth, enjoying the guttural moan that came out of his throat. After I was done with his lips, I moved on to his pronounced jaw line, down his throat, his collar bone, his chest. My hands, my mouth, my tongue were eagerly touching, kissing, licking and nibbling at his flesh. When I got to his abs, I felt him move. I looked up through my lashes and I noticed his hands were no longer under his head but at his sides. His fists clenched.

Soon I found myself at eyelevel with his penis. It was thick, long and smooth. The head was pale pink and shining with moisture. I took in a shaky breath before giving the base of his dick a tentative lick. He moaned. Soon my tongue was going up and down his erection, circling the tip. When I took it in my mouth he cursed loudly. Or at least I assumed he must've been cures. He seemed to be speaking another language because I didn't recognize the actual words. After a few up and downs, I took him in as deep as I could. Coming back up, I stopped half way and sucked deeply as if it was a straw and I was going for the last drop. He jerked. "Damnit Elena!" he shouted.

I stopped at once, locking at him apologetically. "I am so sorry. Did I hurt you? I am sorry Damon, it's just…well, I have never done this before and_"

"What?" he interrupted me. "You never?"

I shook my head. "No. I never wanted to until… until now. Sorry I hurt you."

"Elena, you didn't hurt me, it felt good. Hell, it felt incredible. How about you let me touch you now? I want to feel you. Judging by the sent that is driving me crazy I'd say your dripping wet. Let me put out that fire love," he finished and I once again moaned at his words. (Yeah, you read that right, I freaking moaned.)

"Very well. But next time remind me to gag you, because you talking is not a great idea."

"So, Elena Gilbert had a little dominatrix hidden in there. Who knew all this innocent, good girl thing was actually a façade."

"I am pretty sure she wasn't there up until you came along," I said. And this statement was a hundred per cent true. These intense sexual desires, I never experienced them before. I had felt passion, I had felt arousal, but not like this. "And to be honest, this me being in charge thing, as appalling as it is, I think I might like it better the other way around."

As soon as the last word came out of my mouth, Damon turned us around. He was now on top of me and I was no longer wearing a bra. He grabbed both my wrists in one hand and raised them above my head, pinning them there.

"As much as I would like to tie you up and have my way with you, I think I like the idea of you touching me more at the moment," he said and let go of my hands. I looped my arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. His hands started exploring my upper body, and when he brushed his fingers over my breasts, I let out a low moan against his mouth. His lips left mine to start a trail down south. Each brush of his lips, each breath and each flic of his tongue made my body tremble slightly.

"Damon…" I moaned. After all the back and forward, all the teasing and all the pent up sexual desire between us, I couldn't help but want more. My patience long gone. I had none left. "We've had days, hell, months of foreplay, I_" I stopped and sucked in a breath. He had managed to slip his hand inside my panties and started to stroke my clit in agonizingly slow circles. He looked up, smirked and pulled the material aside pushing a finger inside my folds. My hips automatically lifted from the mattress and I let out a sharp cry.

"My little minx. So wet, so warm, so ready for me," he mumbled.

"Yes, yes, please!"

I didn't have to ask twice, in a blink of an eye, he removed the rest of my clothing and was hovering above me. My nails dug into his flesh as he buried himself inside me.

I thought I had felt it all, I thought I had experienced this before. I was wrong. His pace kept changing from fast to slow and he was making the most incredible sounds with each stroke. I came hard, my whole body convulsing. He followed me, holding me close to him as I turned limp in his arms.

"So, where are we supposed to go?" he asked. His hand was lazily brushing my thighs. I was getting wet again. For crying out loud, it seemed I was about to spent the rest of my life in a constant state of arousal because of him.

"Georgia," I answered softly. "I wanted to go somewhere with meaning. We bonded for the first time when you took me there. That place means something to us. Or at least to me it does."

"Not just to you. You saved my life. You can't possibly imagine what that meant to me at the time. I had spent over a century having no one to care if I lived or died," he said and I bit my lip.

"Well, now you will have someone to look after you forever," I said with a smile, looking up at him.

His eyes opened wide. "Forever?" he asked.

I nodded. "Eventually. If you'd have me."

"Elena, I can't possible ask you for this."

"You're not asking Damon, I am offering," I said cupping his face. I placed a soft kiss on his lips.

***DE***

About two hours later we had placed everything in the car.

"Ready?" Damon asked getting in the driver seat and taking my hand.

"Yes," I answered, never having felt more ready for anything in my life.


	20. Chapter 20

**N: Here's the tiny epilogue I promised. It's not much, but it gives you an idea on what went on after the last chapter and into the future.**

 **Sorry for not answer each of your reviews. Unfortunately, busy schedule didn't allow me the luxury this time.**

 **Thank you so much again for all your kind words. Reviews are quite amazing things for a writer. They can help, inspire and urge with the writing process. Not to mention help authors grow.**

 **One last review?**

 **Hope you enjoy this!**

 **New Reality**

"Look at the mess you've made," Damon said in a lazy voice making me lift my head from his shoulder. I turned around only slightly and got in a sitting position. Oh My! I did make a mess. The furniture was all destroyed with the exception of the small chair in the corner of the room. The small table was broken in two. The one night stand (the other one I broke two days ago) was basically pulverized on the floor and the bed frame was no longer holding the mattress because it gave in. I could also spot the broken piece of ceramic from the sink on the bathroom doorway.

"Sorry," I said softly.

"No you are not," he countered with a smirk. Yeah, the guy new me. I don't think I knew myself as well as he did. It was truly ridiculous. We had shared a weird connection from the moment we met. That hasn't changed. On the contrary, it had deepened and evolved. If I was being honest, I thought of Damon as my soul mate. Yes, I am aware it sounds ridiculous. Yet, I didn't have another explanation.

After staring at the man (vampire) lying beside me for a few moments I said: "No, I am not really. Guess we'll have to go furniture shopping, again."

"I am thinking maybe we should wait a couple of weeks before we buy any more furniture. Just until you get a bit more used to your vampire strength," he offered. "Not that I mind getting new furniture. It's more about the cleaning after. And you have already made so much progress."

I tilted my head at his words. "Maybe we could wait," I agreed finally.

***two hours earlier***

"Oh God!" I moaned as Damon's tongue started drawing wet, invisible circles on my collar bone.

Damon had told me about it. Caroline had told me about it – in her own, very Caroline way. Even Stefan told me about it in his monthly letters (apparently vampires don't do emails). Yes, all the vampires in my life have warned me about the fact that turning into a vampire heightened your senses. I have been reminded of that nifty bonus so many times, I had started to roll my eyes every time it was brought up. Well, I used to, up until I turned into one myself. Heightened senses my ass! That had not been an accurate way to describe it. It was more like: 'hey Elena, so a tsunami of emotions will take place within you and you will feel everything about a trillion times more intense. Also, 'your self-control, well, it will completely go away too'. Yeah. That would've been closer to the truth. When Damon told me we couldn't sleep together for the first few months, I thought he had finally lost his mind. Sex between us had always been fantastic. Not to mention how often we engaged in that particular pass time. Going without for a few _months_! Really?

He had been right to suggest the 'no sex' rule.

On my twenty second birthday, I took Damon's hand in mine, looked into his breathtaking eyes and told him I was ready. Ready to join him in the land of the living-dead. Vampire, not zombie, just to be clear.

I spent the first three weeks of my transition crying. The next two laughing hysterically at everything that was remotely funny. And next two weeks after that, almost killing three people and feeling like shit after. Five months later, a month of witch I spent in the cellar learning to control the hunger by going without blood, I was almost back to my old self. Oh, and all this time… I was not horny, I was the very definition of horny. The first few time Damon and I slept together after my transition and my 'waiting period', I blacked out. I would wake up next to Damon. The room looked as if a tornado had passed through. The sheets were covered in blood. Sometimes Damon would nurse injuries. Such as broken bones and deep scratches. When I woke up next to a barely conscious Damon, with blood loss from several bite marks, three broken bones and a dislocated shoulder I had enough. After I made sure Damon fed and recovered, I locked myself in the dungeon. Again!

Now, another three months later, I still had trouble controlling my lust for him. I had been overwhelmed by what I felt for Damon as a human. That had been nothing compared to what I felt for him as a vampire.

He traced the tips of his fingers on each side of my waist. My whole body shook and a low half moan half mew came out of my throat. Every touch felt electrifying, every exhale of breath against my flesh felt like a caress that would travel through my entire body. Every kiss felt like the last, making my head spin and my limbs start shaking.

I cupped his face with shaky hands.

"How did you do it?" I asked in a breathy voice.

"Do what?" I shook in his arms and Damon raised an eyebrow at me. "Elena, I_"

"Uhh, just hearing you say my name. How did you stay in control?"

Damon took a step back and looked at me for a few moments before speaking. "Elena, by the time I met you, I had already been a vampire for over a century. Also, my feelings for you developed gradually. That is how," he explained. "You have to give yourself time," he went on and I raised an eyebrow. It has been almost a year since I turned. I expected to have enough control not to hurt him.

"But I don't understand. I love you, the last thing I want is to hurt you," I said and yet, as we spoke, the need to bite him was not far out of my mind. Always there, always lingering. My fangs were aching to escape from their little caves inside my gums. To elongate, sharp and deadly. To pierce into Damon's skin on their way to his pulsating veins.

I licked my lips, scratching my tongue in the process on the tips of my fangs.

He smiled at me. The urge to sigh was overwhelming. We have been together almost six years and yet…I still couldn't control my reaction to him. His smile still made me swoon. His touch still made me burn and that little smirk of his still had my pulse accelerate. "Elena," could he say my name in more sexy way? I bit my bottom lip and dug my own nails into the palms of my hands just to keep steady. "Some of the most powerful emotions you are feeling are at war with each other. Hunger and your vampiric need to bite, to mark. Love and your need to drink me down to connect. And finally, your incredible need to protect the people you love. When you dislocated my shoulder the other day, it wasn't to hurt me. You did it when you pushed me away as you vamped out. You wanted to protect me."

"Well, I have done a great job," I said in a mocking tone.

"You are getting better," he said reaching for my hand. He started by kissing each of my fingers. Then his mouth focused on my palm. When he used his tongue to lick the blood my knees buckled. After he made sure there was no trace of blood left in my palm, he made his way from my wrist to the tip of my ring finger. I let out another growl. Oh yes, now that I was a vampire, I made animal noises when turned on or scared as opposed to human ones. Fun.

We had just gotten back from lunch with Caroline and Tyler. We were still in the bathroom. Where I went to take out the hairpins. I was still wearing my cocktail dress. Strapless dress. So naturally, no bra. Now my nipples were hardening with each stroke from Damon's wicked tongue. They seemed ready to pierce the material and be free, seeking his attention. Each and every part of my body had a personal relationship with the man in front of me. Each part of my body wanted him in one way or another.

After kissing me a few times, Damon kneeled in front of me and proceeded to take off my panties. He placed my left foot on his shoulder and… when his mouth came in contact with my heated core, I yelled his name to the ceiling. I placed one hand on the sink for balance while the other made its way to his head. My fingers tangling in his incredibly black hair.

"God! Oh God!" I murmured as his talented tongue started twirling around my throbbing clit. Using his mouth and his fingers, Damon was making me see stars. Licking, sucking, thrusting, and teasing. I was getting closer and closer to what promised to be another earthshattering orgasm. "I am…ohh, Damon, I'm close," I warned him. My orgasm felt like an intrinsic tsunami. The sink's marble gave in under the pressure of my hand and a big chunk fell on the floor.

By the time Damon got back to his feet, I had already removed my dress. I practically jumped on him. He wrapped his arms around me. One on my waist, one underneath my ass, as my legs looped around his hips. He pushed me against the wall outside the bathroom with so much force a piece of the frame cracked and a picture fell from the wall.

Damon let me drop back to the floor as he started kissing my jawline and going down my throat. By the time his mouth reached my breasts, I could feel another orgasm build within. This time, I wanted Damon to be inside of me. I let him finish his ministration on my pebbled nipples before pulling his head up. "I want you inside of me. Now!" I demanded through my clenched teeth.

As we made our way toward the bed, I noticed that one of the night stands (the one I didn't break yet) was in our path. I simply picked it up and threw it against the wall. It shuddered into pieces. I didn't care. I simply proceeded to the next task. Biting my lip in anticipation, I ripped Damon's belt off, pulling down his jeans and boxers in one ager move.

I let out a growl before literally jumping Damon. We fell onto the bed – whose legs gave in. to my surprise, I managed to ride Damon straight into my orgasm without inflicting any damage upon him. Actually, I managed to pull Damon's orgasm along with mine.

Damon was right. I was doing much better. And if the only casualties were pieces of furniture, who cared? I was complete. I had by my side my best friend, my lover, my soul mate, my…home. I would never be broken again.


End file.
